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Quintuplets aired from June 2004 until January 2005 on FOX.
There was quite a crowd living in the Chases' three-bedroom home in suburban Nutley, New Jersey. Bob and Carol ( Andy Richter, Rebecca Creskoff) had a family like no other. Carol's lone pregnancy had been a doozy-she had given birth to fraternal quintuplets, three boys and two girls. Now 15, the kids were so different that it was sometimes difficult to believe they were siblings. Gangly enthusiastic Pearce ( Johnny Lewis) was a litle flaky and not too bright, Parker ( Jake McDorman) was a hunky jock and Patton ( Ryan Pinkston) was short, a litle nerdy and perpetually horny. There weren't many similarities between the girls ,either, . Penny ( April Matson) was an intellectual loner with few friends while sexy vacuous Paige ( Sarah Wright) was extremely popular at school. Despite their differences and internal family conflicts, when push came to shove, they were always there to support one another. Doofus dad Bob worked as a salesman for a company that manufactured office cubicles. Keeping everything under control at home wasn't easy but, to that end, Bob and Carol maintained a huge schedule board to keep track of things for themselves and all the kids. Alayna ( Alice Greczyn) was a pretty classmate who had just returned from five years in Africa. Paige helped her adjust to being back in the staes while Pearce and Parker vied for her affections.
A Review from Variety
(Fox, Wed. June 16, 8:30 p.m.)
By BRIAN LOWRY
Filmed in Hollywood by Imagine Television and 20th Century Fox Television. Executive producers, David Nevins, Mark Reisman; producer, Jessie Ward; director, Andy Cadiff; writer, Reisman;
Bob - Andy Richter
Carol - Rebecca Creskoff
Penny - April Matson
Patton - Ryan Pinkston
Pearce - Johnny Lewis
Parker - Jake McDorman
Paige - Sarah Wright
After a protracted gestation period, Fox has finally birthed "Quintuplets," one of those series that seemingly exhausted most of its inspiration during the pitch meeting. Granted, the idea must have sounded like a sure-fire hit -- revisiting those adorable litters that Diane Sawyer loves profiling once they hit 15 and their hormones begin raging. Alas, that potentially fertile terrain doesn't yield a particularly funny show, but rather an overly broad, simpleminded half-hour that positions these mismatched siblings as a fraternal "Scooby-Doo" gang.
Andy Richter plays Bob Chase, the set-upon patriarch who at this point just wants a minute or two alone with his wife, Carol (Rebecca Creskoff). In show's opening, as the babies are being delivered, Carol groans that she feels "like a parade just came out of my vagina," which is about as understated and subtle as the show's level of humor gets.
Fifteen years later, the Chases have reared a peculiar brood, with two popular kids (a Fox upfront promo actually referred to one girl as "the hot one") and a trio of misfits. So when Parker (Jake McDorman) and Paige (hot-enough Sarah Wright) get invited to a party and the other three aren't, circumstances lead them to wait until the parents escape for a rare night out and throw the bash at their house.
Poor Penny (April Matson) does her best impression of Scooby's Velma, told by her sister that she's even ridiculed "by the girl who crapped her pants last year." Meanwhile, Patton (Ryan Pinkston) is vertically challenged and Pearce (Johnny Lewis) just plain weird, which provides the few moments of zany fun the pilot can muster.
Series creator Mark Reisman has a "Frasier" pedigree but seldom throws out a gag here that rises above belt-level. The most promising bit, in fact, is given short shrift, with references to a group of more adorable quints who keep raking in endorsement bucks -- perhaps the fertility-drug version of Bravo's "Showbiz Moms & Dads."
The show also marks another backward step for one-time Conan O'Brien sidekick Richter, who went from latenight's most inventive show to the clever Fox sitcom "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" to an embarrassing perf in the Olsen twins romp "New York Minute," and now this. Not that he was ever going to be Cary Grant (or even Nigel Bruce), but someone who cares ought to step in and stage a career intervention if it isn't too late.
Scheduled to follow the much smarter "That '70s Show," "Quintuplets" is one of several series being introduced this month as part of Fox's summer programming strategy, which calls for each program to run a limited stretch and then return in November. Yet given the tepid audience response that's likely, it seems a good bet that the Chase pride could goeth before the fall.
A Review from The New York Times
By VIRGINIA HEFFERNAN
Published: June 16, 2004
Fox, tonight at 8:30, Eastern and Pacific times; 7:30, Central time
The five teenagers on ''Quintuplets,'' a lazily imagined sitcom that begins tonight, also on Fox, line up in a neat row of adorable cliches: ditzy girl, nerdy girl, short boy, weird boy and cool boy. The ditz jabbers on about her hair and the nerd sulks in glasses. The shortie tries to get taller, the weirdo jumps around. The cool kid keeps it together. The door to his room has ''no trespassing'' and ''keep out'' signs on it. Why does every television teenager have these signs?
The retread plot has something to do with the quintuplets' parents' (Andy Richter, Rebecca Creskoff) trying to find time to have sex and listen to Bruce Springsteen, who is now officially parent music. When they head off for a concert (and a magic brownie, hee hee), the children host a boozeless party and try to hook up with other airhead television types. The laugh track keeps guffawing. Ryan Pinkston, Ashton Kutcher's spiteful little sidekick from ''Punk'd,'' shows off his superb, hoarse deadpan, but otherwise the show's a bust -- and a sorry holding pen for the pleasant comic Andy Richter, for whom it's a vehicle.
A Review from the SF Chronicle
'Quintuplets' reaches startling heights of awfulness; 'Simple Life 2' nothing new
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Andy Richter may no longer control the universe, but he does star in one of the worst sitcoms in recent memory. Television: What a fickle business.
In its infinite wisdom -- though it will probably blame viewers -- Fox gave up on "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," a deliciously irreverent and manically funny sitcom from two seasons ago. As executive decisions go, it wasn't a good one, but you can always blame the numbers, right? Now, having had plenty of time to find the right vehicle for him, Fox unleashes upon the world "Quintuplets," a moronic dull-fest that is, in turns, physically painful to watch and jaw-droppingly, stupendously stupid.
And not in a car-crash, artistic-disaster kind of way, either.
The pilot for "Quintuplets" should be shown to prospective writers in Hollywood as an example of what happens when you're a lousy carpenter and you hack yourself to death. That somebody collected a check for this series is quite possibly illegal but also proof-positive that in America anything is possible.
It should also be shown to entertainment presidents, comedy development VPs, programmers and perhaps test audiences -- since logic would indicate none of that happened and somebody in the mail room is trying to stick this on the air while everyone else at Fox is on vacation.
As viewers, we're supposed to believe that Bob (Andy Richter) and Carol (Rebecca Creskoff) took fertility drugs and had quintuplets, reveling in the national attention they got (though another family had quints that were cuter), but now the three boys and two girls are all teenagers living in the same house, causing Bob and Carol much grief -- never mind that Bob and Carol look exactly like they did the day Carol gave birth and the five kids look nothing alike, or like Bob and Carol.
Neither Bob nor Carol gives you much reason to watch. There's nothing to like about either. Richter plays Bob as an incessantly whiny dad who believes his five kids are more hassle than they're worth; Creskoff plays Carol as a mom whose life revolves around the kids, to the detriment of her marriage.
If the kids themselves weren't so uniformly annoying, you'd have some sympathy for them, given the lamentable parents. Carol utters this line in the hospital after Bob asks her how she's feeling: "Like a parade came out of my vagina."
Not to be outdone, Bob recalls the good old days when the kids were still cute and endorsements were plentiful: "We had applesauce coming out of our ass. "
Right, and Fox has this coming out of your TV screen. Hard to imagine what's worse among the three.
The kids in "Quintuplets" redefine bad acting. Of course, they're given nothing to work with except the lameness that spews from the script. "There's a rumble in my jungle," says one of the kids whom you want to smack immediately, and not just for that line. He faints when a hot teen opens her shirt to reveal a pierced nipple. He is revived by his brother who gives mouth to mouth and their braces get caught.
And so it goes. You have to really feel sorry for Andy Richter, especially near the end when he's called on to perform a scene that is not only embarrassingly unfunny, but after three rewinds makes absolutely no sense. It's just stupid, which is the simplest word for "Quintuplets," though "sad" is shorter.
Andy Richter used to control a universe where he was funny, where the people around him were funny. He could be a talk show sidekick to Ryan Seacrest and it would still be an improvement over this.
"I hate this family!" says one of the forgettable kids. It's a sentiment that's easy to share.
Failing at the task of actually giving viewers a show worth watching this summer, Fox finally gets to fall back on its reality hit, "The Simple Life," with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. No doubt this second installment of "Dumb and Dumber" is the network's answered prayer for a summer hit. But even if all the people who watched the first hit version come back, they're unlikely to stay.
Paris and Nicole are two hootchies combining for a one-note joke. Even the first installment was too much, but at the time it was hard to turn away from the stupidity, as the two meritless celebrities took the fish-out-of- water bromide to new lows. Now it seems so forced and staged even they look bored (or more bored -- the very rich always seem in need of stimulation, at least on TV).
Yeah, great, one heiress and one (hey, how much did Lionel Richie make in his career anyway?) something-or-other wear super-short skirts and flirt with country boys on a cross-country trip. Didn't they do this in a small town last season? They couldn't drive then, and still can't. They hated work then, and still do. They stunned their host family then, and stun several of them this time.
And while a certain segment of the audience may be able to pass the time staring at Paris' never-ending legs (Nicole might as well be on "Quintuplets"), there's not much joy in that, given there are nude pictures of her on the Internet. Instead, we get to witness the two of them shop in the first episode -- ringing up more than $112,000 -- then repeat all the same moments of inanity that made the first "Simple Life" so effortlessly cheesy.
But that's the problem with cheese. It turns. "The Simple Life 2" proves that we'll always have Paris, but it's never the same as the first time.
To watch clips of Quintuplets go to https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=quintuplets+tv+show
For more on the Quintuplets go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quintuplets
For 3 Reviews of the Quintuplets go to https://www.popmatters.com/quintuplets-2496225636.html and http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/justin/6-20-04.htm and http://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/Quintuplets.html
To watch the opening credits go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42Fm3-98a5s
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