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Old 09-27-2019, 04:55 PM   #1
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Default Sitcom Quotes

Two of a Kind:
Carrie: "What is she, some kind of witch?"
Neighbor: "You're just one letter off."
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Old 09-28-2019, 05:09 AM   #2
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Great idea for a thread!

8 Simple Rules

Paul: Come on Cate, dance with me.
Cate: Oh, no, I'm not going to embarrass my daughter.
Paul: Fine, I'll dance by myself.
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Old 09-28-2019, 08:03 AM   #3
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Another Two Of A Kind quote:

[Carrie had made home-made chunky cranberry sauce. Kevin gets home from work... ]

Kevin Burke: That's not cranberry sauce.

[holding his hands one on top of the other about six inches apart]

Kevin Burke: No, no, no... cranberry sauce is a red, gelatinous clump about yay-high shaped like a can.
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Old 04-09-2020, 06:38 PM   #4
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Two of a Kind:
Carrie: "Alright. Since this is the social event of the season, I'd say we stick with the three 'F's: food, facials, and... phone."
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Old 04-10-2020, 07:18 AM   #5
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Family Matters

Laura: 'Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!'
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Old 05-07-2020, 05:24 PM   #6
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Jessie:

Jessie: "It's clothes from the 80s, isn't it?"
Christina: "Yeah."

Jessie: "Oddly, still the best piece of jewelry I've ever received."

Bertram: "I'm not getting on that death trap built for two."
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Old 05-07-2020, 05:31 PM   #7
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Everybody Loves Raymond

Ray: Let's see, when I proposed you were 23. You said no.
Debra: Right.
Ray: Then I proposed; you were 24
Ray & Debra: No again.
Ray: Right, then I took a year off to regroup then I came back with a job; BOOM, married. That would make you 32----ish.
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Old 05-08-2020, 09:31 AM   #8
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On numerous sitcoms involving teenagers "As long as you live under my roof, you live by my rules."
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Old 05-08-2020, 09:34 AM   #9
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Chico and the Man

Ed Brown:
[a hypnotized Chico, in a fit of pre-suggested lust, has carried Flora into his van] Flora! Forgive him! He doesn't know what he's doing!

Flora:
OH, YES, HE DOES!
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Old 06-14-2020, 05:04 PM   #10
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Modern Family/Jay: "I've always seen life like a series of doors. Sometimes you get to chose the door you go through, sometimes you don't get that choice. But you still gotta walk through. So you can either go through kicking and screaming, or walk through with your head held high."
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Old 06-15-2020, 02:25 PM   #11
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“That’s what she said.” – Michael Scott, "The Office"
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Old 06-16-2020, 02:12 PM   #12
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Better Off Ted

Phil: "Did you put hydrochloric acid in this mug?"
Lem: "Oh yeah, I was trying to get the stains out."
Phil: "You know soap would work. And it wouldn’t kill someone if they accidentally drank it."
Lem: "But soap leaves a film."
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Old 06-18-2020, 07:19 AM   #13
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Duck Dynasty

(Uncle Si talking about a sword)

That thing will take the hair off a dolphin's chest.
And look here, have you ever looked at a dolphin's chest?
Hey, that boy's got fine chest hair.
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Old 06-18-2020, 08:17 AM   #14
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Default Gary Coleman

Arnold Jackson (Diff'rent Strokes): "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

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Old 06-18-2020, 08:20 PM   #15
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The Detour
Jared:
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