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Old 10-11-2019, 07:10 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
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Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,160
Default A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

(On Columbus Day, Ralph & Ed are on a boat that has toy bowling alleys.)

Ralph: "Norton, the Hurricanes bowling team are going to win this contest on Columbus Day as the ship is saling around the Hudson River."

Ed: "Christopher Columbus will be so proud of us. If he was alive today, he would be an honorary member of our team and a Raccoon."

Ralph: "That is true. Here comes our opponents."

(Some of the opponents are Harvey and George. They see Ralph & Ed.)

Ralph: "Norton, it's Harvey."

Ed & Ralph: "Ooooooh Har-vey."

Ralph: "We are going to play against Har-vey. Har-vey. We are going against Har-vey."

(Harvey & George see Ralph & Ed.)

Harvey: "Ok Ralph. It looks like you and yoru pal are going to lose on this Columbus Day."

Ralph: "I don't know about that. I have a pretty good hand."

Host: "All right. Everyone get ready to start bowling."

Ed: "Ralph, just think. We are going bowling on the Hudson River. The same river that Christopher Columbus sailed on. We are going to win the prize even as the boat goes up and down and up down."

(Ralph starts to look like he is going to get seasick.)

Ed: "Come on Ralph. Time to sing: "'I never felt better in my life.'"

Ralph (sings): "I never felt better in my..." (not singing): "Whooaaaaaaaaaa!...I think I will throw up."

(Ed has the bowling ball. Ralph slpas Ed on the back in a firnedly fashion which causes Ed to drop the ball on Ralph's foot.)

Ralph (yells): "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!"

(Ralph goes over to the railing and looks like he will throw up. Ed comes by with the bowling ball and is so stupid that he is carrying the ball over the ledge.)

Ed: "Sorry Ralph. It's not my fault that you the ball somehow hit your feet that you can't see."

(Ralph elbows Ed which causes Ed to drop the ball into the water.)

Ed: "Ralph, I have to say this. I know you to be smart and level-headed. Why did you cause us to lose for?"

Ralph (holding up his fists, yells): "PUT 'EM UP NORTON! LET'S GO! PUT 'EM UP NORTON."

(People try to separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Here comes Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)
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