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Old 07-17-2012, 05:47 PM   #151
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A man woke up sweating at dawn
For some reason his AC was not on
It must be busted
He felt disgusted
When he looked outside,his AC was gone.
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Old 07-18-2012, 12:24 AM   #152
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There once was a man from Spain
Who decided to hop on a train
He didn't care
If it went anywhere
He just wanted to get out of the rain.
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Old 07-18-2012, 01:21 AM   #153
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A pig was approached by a bear
The bear asked, " Where is your hair? "
" You know it's crude "
" To walk around nude "
The pig said he didn't care.
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:24 AM   #154
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A cook came down with the flu
But he stayed to finish the stew
While stirring the pot
In dripped some snot
Luckily nobody knew.
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:27 AM   #155
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There once was a fighter named Mace
Whose nose was all over his face
He'd been hit so often
That his head became softened
And it felt like a pillow case.
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Old 07-19-2012, 01:05 AM   #156
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There once was a fellow named Doug
Who found an unusal bug
It was the size of a fly
Had just one eye
And lived inside of a jug.
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Old 07-19-2012, 01:07 AM   #157
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A rat chipped a tooth on a screw
Which made it difficult to chew
The emotional stress
Made him depressed
He wondered who he could sue.
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Old 07-19-2012, 11:21 PM   #158
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There once was an insomniac named Fred
Whose eyes stayed the color of red
He tried counting sheep
But still couldn't sleep
So he ended up selling his bed.
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Old 07-21-2012, 02:43 AM   #159
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There once was a fellow named Jack
Whose head had developed a crack
A moth had flown in
Then flew out again
He wondered when it would come back.
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:39 AM   #160
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There once was a plumber named Nick
Who was sent to a house of a hick
When he saw the commode
It was filled with a load
Suddenly he felt kind of sick.
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:27 AM   #161
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There once was a woman named Nellie
Who asked the girl at the deli
" Do you have chicken breasts? "
The girl replied, " Yes "
" They're hiding down by my belly "
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:21 PM   #162
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A man had gone down to the lake
He wanted some fish he could bake
Before baiting his hook
He just up and booked
He decided he'd rather have steak.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:18 PM   #163
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There once was a man named Greg
Who suffered some wounds to his leg
His untreated sores
Turned into spores
And started a serious plague.
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Old 07-24-2012, 09:35 PM   #164
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The ants came out of the ground
Didn't make much of a sound
They were ready for war
And to settle a score
As they charged down from their mound.
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Old 07-26-2012, 12:11 AM   #165
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There once was a boy named Neal
Who went to school just to steal
He was well taught
He never got caught
No one was around to squeal.
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