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tiredmike59 · 06-27-2012, 12:09 PM

Grandma was mad as Hell
It wasn't hard to tell
The ham she was cookin
Was funny lookin
It was blue and had a terrible smell.

tiredmike59 · 06-27-2012, 12:11 PM

The Mayor was taken away
Feds said he neglected to pay
The taxes he owed
For kickbacks that flowed
But the Mayor had nothing to say.

tiredmike59 · 06-27-2012, 12:13 PM

John was always in debt
Bills he would always get
At least 5 a day
That he could not pay
Even his dog owed the vet.

tiredmike59 · 06-27-2012, 07:01 PM

There once was an albino named Jay
Who was afraid to come out in the day
He'd go out at night
Avoid all forms of light
And into the dark he would play.

tiredmike59 · 06-27-2012, 08:07 PM

There once was a man named Fred
Who went into a place to be fed
But before he could scarf
He wanted to barf
Cuz his food had more hair than his head.

tiredmike59 · 06-27-2012, 08:32 PM

Joe brought back the jar to Doctor Lee
" I filled it up as you can see "
Lee said, " This is absurd "
" This is a turd "
" I meant for you to pee "

tiredmike59 · 06-28-2012, 02:57 AM

There once was a fellow named Chad
Whose breath smelled extremely bad
Under his arms he would lick
Like a deodorant stick
He was truly a disgusting lad.

tiredmike59 · 06-28-2012, 03:00 AM

A fisherman was looking for trout
He could see them swimming about
But when he would wait
They would steal his bait
And that would cause him to pout.

tiredmike59 · 06-28-2012, 10:23 PM

There once was a girl named Rose
Whose finger got stuck up her nose
She was doin some pickin
Cuz her nostrils were stickin
And her finger was the tool that she chose.

tiredmike59 · 07-01-2012, 12:13 AM

There was trouble at the zoo
Nobody knew what to do
Some tigers got out
Were running about
Looking for someone to chew.

tiredmike59 · 07-01-2012, 12:34 AM

There once was a mummy named Tut
Whose tomb was carefully shut
Along came some men
Who wanted to get in
And the mummy told them to kiss his butt.

tiredmike59 · 07-01-2012, 07:00 PM

There once was a chauffeur named Ed
Whose eyes were on the back of his head
In order to steer
His seat faced the rear
So he could see directly ahead.

tiredmike59 · 07-01-2012, 07:22 PM

There once was a fellow named Rick
Inside his ear lived a tick
It took over his brain
Made him insane
And convinced him that he was St.Nick.

tiredmike59 · 07-02-2012, 09:09 AM

A horse walked into a bar
He said, " My owner just bought a new car "
" He don't want me no more "
" So get ready to pour "
" It's leaving an emotional scar "

tiredmike59 · 07-03-2012, 03:45 AM

A man looked back on his past
The years sure seemed to go fast
He'd return if he could
To the times that were good
But this time he'd like them to last.

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06-27-2012, 12:09 PM	#106
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	Grandma was mad as Hell It wasn't hard to tell The ham she was cookin Was funny lookin It was blue and had a terrible smell.

06-27-2012, 12:11 PM	#107
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	The Mayor was taken away Feds said he neglected to pay The taxes he owed For kickbacks that flowed But the Mayor had nothing to say.

06-27-2012, 12:13 PM	#108
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	John was always in debt Bills he would always get At least 5 a day That he could not pay Even his dog owed the vet.

06-27-2012, 07:01 PM	#109
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was an albino named Jay Who was afraid to come out in the day He'd go out at night Avoid all forms of light And into the dark he would play.

06-27-2012, 08:07 PM	#110
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a man named Fred Who went into a place to be fed But before he could scarf He wanted to barf Cuz his food had more hair than his head.

06-27-2012, 08:32 PM	#111
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	Joe brought back the jar to Doctor Lee " I filled it up as you can see " Lee said, " This is absurd " " This is a turd " " I meant for you to pee "

06-28-2012, 02:57 AM	#112
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a fellow named Chad Whose breath smelled extremely bad Under his arms he would lick Like a deodorant stick He was truly a disgusting lad.

06-28-2012, 03:00 AM	#113
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	A fisherman was looking for trout He could see them swimming about But when he would wait They would steal his bait And that would cause him to pout.

06-28-2012, 10:23 PM	#114
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a girl named Rose Whose finger got stuck up her nose She was doin some pickin Cuz her nostrils were stickin And her finger was the tool that she chose.

07-01-2012, 12:13 AM	#115
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There was trouble at the zoo Nobody knew what to do Some tigers got out Were running about Looking for someone to chew.

07-01-2012, 12:34 AM	#116
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a mummy named Tut Whose tomb was carefully shut Along came some men Who wanted to get in And the mummy told them to kiss his butt.

07-01-2012, 07:00 PM	#117
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a chauffeur named Ed Whose eyes were on the back of his head In order to steer His seat faced the rear So he could see directly ahead.

07-01-2012, 07:22 PM	#118
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a fellow named Rick Inside his ear lived a tick It took over his brain Made him insane And convinced him that he was St.Nick.

07-02-2012, 09:09 AM	#119
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	A horse walked into a bar He said, " My owner just bought a new car " " He don't want me no more " " So get ready to pour " " It's leaving an emotional scar "

07-03-2012, 03:45 AM	#120
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	A man looked back on his past The years sure seemed to go fast He'd return if he could To the times that were good But this time he'd like them to last.