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Old 04-11-2006, 07:10 AM   #151
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lol daamn these are funny.
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Old 04-12-2006, 01:29 AM   #152
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Default Child Support

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Number 11 takes the prize.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party
if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex
with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me
his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Harvey
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Old 04-12-2006, 01:31 AM   #153
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Default Dear Abby

ACTUAL "DEAR ABBY" EXCERPTS

DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid- twenties.
These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

DEAR ABBY: I've been married for six years and have five kids. No twins. My husband still wants to have sex every night and sometimes in the morning too. I told him he should get himself a hobby, and he says that is his hobby.

DEAR ABBY: I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not
even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

DEAR ABBY: I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

DEAR ABBY: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate doctor?

DEAR ABBY: Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was
raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

DEAR ABBY: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get
out?

DEAR ABBY: My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour
every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
until one night he came home sober.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally did it.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through
her mental pause.

DEAR ABBY: I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting officer.

DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get?
-GERTIE-
DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?

DEAR ABBY: My husband hates to spend money! I cut my own hair and make my own
clothes, and I have to account for every nickel I spend. Meanwhile he has a stock of savings bonds put away that would choke a cow. How do I get some money out of him before we are both called to our final judgment? He says he's saving for a rainy day.
-FORTY YEARS HITCHED-
DEAR HITCHED: Tell him it's raining!

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like?
-CAROL-
DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.

DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible?
-KAY-
DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.

DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?
-WONDERING-
DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think about dying much?
-CURIOUS-
DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.

DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time?
-JAKE-
DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.

DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?
-ANNIE-
DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever
caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
-SAM IN CAL.-
DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.

DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write?
-TED-
DEAR TED: The Internal Revenue Service.

DEAR ABBY: When you are being introduced, is it all right to say,
"I've heard a lot about you"?
-RITA-
DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.

DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with
no bad habits.
-ROSE-
DEAR ROSE: So would I.

DEAR ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
-BESS-
DEAR BESS: Night and Day.


Harvey
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Old 04-12-2006, 01:42 PM   #154
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This is funny! I had a friend who was one of eight men who were forced to take a paternity test by Child support Enforcement. He and the other seven were proven not to be the father.
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Old 04-12-2006, 02:10 PM   #155
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This would be funny if they were true. But I have seen different versions of this on joke sites...i have seen british women, Dallas women, Florida women, etc. so take it as a tired joke.
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Old 04-12-2006, 06:08 PM   #156
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I don't know, they could be true. I had an old girlfriend who worked for the Idaho Child Support Enforcement. She used to always have weird stories to tell.
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:32 AM   #157
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do you trade or are you just the comic relief?
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:34 AM   #158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katmandu38
do you trade or are you just the comic relief?
I trade for things from the 50's & 60's. Almost all of my collection is in that realm.

Harvey
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Old 04-13-2006, 05:37 AM   #159
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Default North Carolina

North Carolina governor application

First name: ______________________
Last name(if known):______________

Address (where you live):_________
__________________________________


Mother's name_____________________
(also relation, i.e., sister)

Birthdate(yours):__________________

Father's name:_____________________
(if known, if not, list choices)

Color of neck:
Light Red ( )
Medium Red( )
Dark Red ( )
No Neck ( )

Year of pickup truck:_____________

List all that you have in your truck:

Fuzzy Dice( ) Gun Rack( ) Coon Tail( )
Filled ash tray( ) Dead Road Kill( )
Dog of Unknown Breed( )

Have you ever been to a large city?
(Like Raleigh) Yes ( ) No ( )


How far can you throw cow pies?____
Do you eat cow pies? Yes( ) No( )

Wife's name:__________________
Is she: Cousin( ) Neighbor( )
Sister( ) Aunt ( ) Mother( )
Neighbor's dog( )

Does your wife weigh:
Less than 200 Pounds( )
Less than 300 Pounds( )
Less than a 747( )
More than a 747( )

Do you know what a 747 is?
Yes( ) No( )

How much smarter than you
is your wife:

50 IQ Points( ) 75 IQ Points( )
100 IQ Points( ) She Won't Tell Me( )

Does your wife wear:

A Dress( ) Pants( ) Hot Pants( )
Your Pants( ) Them Lawyer Clothes( )
Nothing( )

Understood previous questions:

Yes( ) No( ) Huh?( )
All of the Above( )
What "previous" mean?( )

Color of wife's hair:

Blonde( ) Red( ) Brown( )
Black( ) Bald( )

Last Elvis sighting:
Location: ________________
On what date?_____________

Can you count past five:
Yes( ) No( ) Past ten: Yes( ) No( )

Explain in ten words or less
why on Earth you want to be Governor
of North Carolina

________________________________
Signature ('X' if you can't write)


Harvey
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Old 04-13-2006, 05:41 AM   #160
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Default Church Bulletins

Actual Church Bulletins

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water. " The sermon tonight:"Searching for Jesus."
4. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
6. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
7. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
10. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
11. During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
12. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the chior will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
13. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
16. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
17. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
18. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
19. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
20. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
21. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
22. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladie are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
23. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
24. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement, Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
25. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
26. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Harvey
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:34 PM   #161
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katmandu38
do you trade or are you just the comic relief?

He's just the opening act every morning - he's not Headliner material yet.
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:49 PM   #162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marvelousmarcus
I don't know, they could be true. I had an old girlfriend who worked for the Idaho Child Support Enforcement. She used to always have weird stories to tell.
I'm a paralegal...FAMILY LAW. I have never heard anything remotely like this stuff. But it is fake because like I mentioned before, I have seen the same wording of these statements. The only difference is it changes from British women, to Florida women, Texas women, etc etc etc. And also, you can find these on those joke boards, joke websites, etc. I get them alot in my email from friends and other sources.
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Old 04-13-2006, 01:03 PM   #163
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Quote:
Originally Posted by y2k3Joker
He's just the opening act every morning - he's not Headliner material yet.
Folks can start their day with orange juice, coffee, buttered roll, eggs or me.

I'm a cheap substitute.

By the way here is my trading list..

220 Serials from the 30’s & 40’s
77 Sunset Strip 84 eps-19 dvds
Abbott & Costello Full run-6 dvds
Addams Family Full run-6 dvds
Adventures in Paradise 10 eps-2 dvds
Alfred Hitchcock Presents 140 eps- 8 dvds
Amazing Stories Full run-6 dvds
Amos & Andy Full run- 16dvds
Amos Burke Secret Agent Full run – 7 dvds
Andy’s Gang 16 eps-2 dvds
Baretta First season 3-dvds
Barnaby Jones 60 eps- 30 dvds
Barney Miller Full run-22 dvds
Ben Casey 135 eps-35 dvds
Biff Baker 4 eps-1 dvd
Bilko Show 75 eps-5 dvds
Blue Light Full run-4 dvds
Boston Blackie 50 eps-16 dvds
Bourbon Street 24 eps-6 dvds
Branded 2 seasons-6 dvds
Bring im! Back Alive Full run 4 dvds
Bronco Full run -17 dvds
Brooklyn Bridge Full run-5 dvds
Buccaner Full run-10 dvds
Burke’s Law full run- 13 dvds
Burns & Allen 100 Eps-15 dvds
Cannon full run 31-dvds
Car 54 53 eps-7 dvds
Casey Jones 30 eps-5 dvds
Charlie Chan Full run-3 dvds
Cheyenne Full run-27 dvds
Col. March of Scotland Yard Full run-7 dvds
Combat 120 eps-25 dvds
Commander Cody 12 Eps-2 dvds
Corando 9 18 eps -9 dvds
Cosby Mysteries Full run-10 dvds
Cotl 45 40 eps-10 dvds
Cowboy G-Men Full run-10 dvds
Custer Full Run-3 dvds
Dakotas Full-9 dvds
Danger UXB Full run-6 dvds
Dangerous Assignment Full run -6 dvds
Dante 24 eps-3 dvds
Date With Angels 16 eps-1 dvd
Death Valley Days 96 eps 24 dvds
Deputy 64 eps- 17 dvds
Dr. Kildare’s 110 eps-50 dvds
Dragnet 1967 Full Run-12 dvds
Ellery Queen Full run-11 dvds
Everglades 36 eps-9 dvds
F.B.I. 30 eps-9 dvds
Falcon 37 eps-10 dvds
Father Dowling Mysteries Full run- 7 dvds
Father Knows Best 80 eps-10 dvds
Felony Squad Full run – 8 dvds
Flip Wilson Show Full run-8 dvds
Follow That Man 40 eps-10 dvds
Foreign Intrigue 68 eps - 17 dvds
Frontier Circus 16 eps-4 dvds
F-Troop Full run-16 dvds
Fury 70 eps -24 dvds
Gangbusters 30 eps- 5 dvds
Gilligan’s Island First season-6 dvds
Green Hornet Full run- 8 dvds
Hammer’s House of Horrors full run- 4 dvds
Harbor Command Full run-11 dvds
Harry O Full run-10 dvds
Hart to Hart Full run 17 dvds
Have Gun Will Travel 160 eps-22 dvds
Hawaii 5-0 Full run-29 dvds
Hazel 16 eps-2dvds
Hercule Piriot 58 eps-14 dvds
High Chaperelle Full run-25 dvds
Highway Patrol 60 eps-15 dvds
Hogan’s Heroes Full run -22 dvds
Honey West Full Run-5 dvds
Hong Kong 12 eps-4 dvds
Hopalong Cassidy 42 eps-7 dvds
Hundreds of Crime and Mystery movies from the 30’s and 40’s, most 3 to a disk.
I Led 3 Lives 108 eps-27 dvds
I Married Joan 12 eps-2 dvds
I Spy 55 eps-20 dvds
I’m The Law 4 eps-1 dvd
Invaders Full run-13dvds
Ironsides 75 eps -30 dvds
Jack Benny 35 eps-3 dvds
Johnny Staccato Full run- 6 dvds
Jungle Jim Full run-3 dvds
Land of the Giants Full Run-17 dvds
Last of the Mohicans 16 eps-2 dvds
Lawman Full run-17 dvds
Life of Riley 90 Eps-11 dvds
Lights Out 16 eps-4 dvds
Lockup 20 eps-4 dvds
Lone Wolf 37 eps-9 dvds
Long John Silver 13 eps-2 dvds
M Squad Full run -29 dvds
Man Called X 28 eps-7 dvds
Man From Uncle Full run-27 dvds
Mannix Full run-24 dvds
Martin Kane 16 eps-2 dvds
Mary Tyler Moore first season -4 dvds
McHale’s Navy Full run-10 dvds
McKensie’s Raiders 26 eps-6 dvds
McMilian & Wife Full run-20 dvds
Medic 12 eps-3 dvds
Meet Corliss Archer 4 eps 1-dvd
Meet McGraw 11 eps-3 dvds
Mike Hammer Full run-12 dvds
Moonlighting Full run-15 dvds
Mr. District Attorney 9 eps- 1 dvd
Mr. Lucky 20 eps- 5 dvds
Mr. Peepers 24 eps-6 dvds
Munsters Full run-7 dvds
My Mother the Car Full run- 9 dvds
Naked City 60 eps-15 dvds
Official Detective Stories 16 eps-4 dvds
One Step Beyond 40 eps- 8 dvds
Our Miss Brooks 28 eps-3 dvds
Outer Limits Full run-14 dvds
Overland Trail Full run -9 dvds
Peter Gunn 60 eps-15 dvds
Quincy Full run-37 dvds
Racket Squad 44 eps- 11 dvds
Ramar of the Jungle 40 eps-10 dvds
Range Riders 16 eps -3 dvds
Range Riders 16 eps-2 dvds
Rat Patrol Full run-10 dvds
Restless Gun 16 eps -3 dvds
Richard Diamond 40 Eps-10 dvds
Rin Tin Tin 20 eps-3 dvds
Riverfront 44 eps-11 dvds
Roaring 20’s 13 eps -6 dvds
Rockford Files 76 eps-19 dvds
Rocky Jones Full run -3 dvds
Route 66 Full run-24 dvds
Rumpole of the Bailey Full run-17 dvds
Saint Full run -21 dvds
Scarlet Pimpernal 4 eps-1 dvd
Sci-Fi Theater Full run-10 dvds
Sea Hunt Full run -40 dvds
Sgt Cribbs Full run-3 dvds
Sgt Preston 33 eps- 5 dvds
Shannon 12 eps-3dvds
Sheena 4 eps-1 dvd
Sherlock Holmes (Brett) Full run-8 dvds
Shotgun Slade 32 eps-4 dvds
Sir Francis Drake Full run-7 dvds
Sir Lancelot Full run-8 dvds
Sky King Full run-16 dvds
Soldier of Fortune 44 eps-11 dvds
Space Patrol 54 eps-17 dvds
State Trooper 76 eps-19 dvds
Stories of the Century Full run-5 dvds
Streets of San Francisco 80 eps-25 dvds
Studio One 50 eps-25 dvds
Sugarfoot Full run -14 dvds
Takes a Thief Full run-17 dvds
Tales of the Darkside Full run-9 dvds
Tales of the Texas Rangers 15 eps-3 dvds
Tales of the Unexpected 16 eps-2 dvds
Tales of Tomorrow 35 eps-7 dvds
Tarzan Full run-15 dvds
Tate full run – 3 dvds
Terry & the Pirates 8eps-2 dvds
Texan 16 eps-2 dvds
That Girl 70 eps-14 dvds
The Deputy 68 eps- 17 dvds
The Immortal Full run-8 dvds
The Rebel Full run-12 dvds
Thin Man 16 Eps-3 dvds
Thin Man 68 eps- 17 dvds
Thriller Full run-17 dvds
Tightrope-90 eps-45 dvds
Time Trax Full run-8 dvds
Time Tunnel Full run 10 dvds
Tom Corbett 8 eps-2 dvds
Tombstone Territory 20 eps-5 dvds
Tons of Mpegs such as Lone Ranger, Wells Fargo, Rifleman etc.
Trackdown Full run-18 dvds
U.S. Marshall 52 eps-17 dvds
Untouchables Full run-15 dvds
Veil Full run- 4 dvds
Virginian 162 eps- 54 dvds
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea Full run 17 dvds
Wagon Train 100 Eps- 45 dvds
Wanted Dead or Alive Full run-17 dvds
Waterfront 44 eps-11 dvds
Whirlybirds 27 eps-5 dvds
Wild Wild West Full run -19 dvds
William Tell Full run- 10 dvds
WKRP Full run-19 dvds
Yancy Derringer 8 eps-2 dvds
Zane Grey Theater 84 eps-22 dvds
Zorro Full run-10 dvds

Serials 2 meaning 2 disks
Ace Drummond
Adventures of Captain Africa
Adventures of Captain Kidd 2
Adventures of Frank & Jesse James 2
Adventures of Frank Merriwell
Adventures of Rex & Rinty
Adventures of Smilin! Jack 2
Adventures of the Flying Cadets 2
Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok 2
Atom Man vs. Superman 2
Batman & Robin
Batman 2
Black Arrow 2
Black Coin 3
Black Widow 2
Blackhawk 2
Blake of Scotland Yard
Brick Bradford 2
Buck Rogers 2
Burn em! up Barnes 2
Call of the Savage
Canadian Mounted vs. the Atomic Invaders
Captain America 2
Captain Marvel
Captain Midnight 2
Captain Video 2
Chick Carter 2
Cliffhanger Serials 4
Clutching Hand
Cody of the Pony Express
Congo Bill 2
Crimson Ghost
Custer’s Last Stand
Dangers of the Canadian Mounted 2
Daredevil of the Red Circle 2
Darkest Africa 2
Daughter of Don Q 2
Deadwood Dick 2
Desert Hawk 2
Desperadoes of the West 2
Devil Horse 2
Dick Tracy 2
Dick Tracy Returns 2
Dick Tracy vs. Crime 3
Dick Tracy’s G-Men 2
Don Daredevil
Don Winslow of the Coast guard 2
Don Winslow of the Navy
Drums of Fu Manchu 2
Federal Agents vs. the Underworld
Federal Operator 99 2
Fighting Devil Dogs 2
Fighting Marines 2
Fighting With Kit Carson 2
Flaming Frontiers 2
Flash Gordon
Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe
Flash Gordon’s trip to Mars
Flying Disc Man from Mars
Flying G-Men 2
Galloping Ghost 2
Ghost of Zorro 2
G-Men never Forget 2
G-Men vs. the Red Dragon
Gordon of Ghost City 2
Great Alaskan Mystery 2
Green Archer 2
Green Hornet 2
Green Hornet Strikes Again 2
Gunfighters of the Northwest
Haunted Harbor 2
Hawk of the Wilderness 2
Heroes of the West
Holt of the Secret Service 2
Hop Harrigan 2
Hurricane Express
Invisible Monster
Iron Claw 2
Jack Armstrong 2
James Bros. of Missouri 2
Jesse James Rides Again
Judex 3
Jungle Drums of Africa 2
Jungle Girl 2
Jungle Jim
Jungle Raiders
Junior G-Men 2
King of the Carnival 2
King of the Forest Rangers 2
King of the Kongo
King of the Mounties 2
King of the Royal Mounted
King of the Texas Rangers
King of the Wild 2
Last Frontier
Last of the Mohicans
Law of the Wild
Les Vampires 3
Lighting Hutch
Lightning Bryce 2
Lightning Warrior
Lone Defender
Lone Ranger 2
Lone Ranger Rides Again
Lost City 2
Lost Jungle 2
Lost Planet 2
Lost Special
Man with the Steel Whip 2
Mandrake the Magician 2
Manhunt in the African Jungle 2
Manhunt on Mystery Island 2
Masked Marvel 2
Master Key 2
Miracle Rider 2
Monster & the Ape 2
Mysterious Dr. Satan 2
Mysterious Island 2
Mysterious Mr. M 2
Mysterious Pilot 2
Mystery Mountain 2
Mystery of the Double Cross 3
Mystery of the Riverboat 2
Mystery Squadron 2
Mystery Trooper
New Tarzan 2
Nyoka and the Tigermen
Officer 444 2
Oregon Trail
Overland With Kit Carson 2
Painted Stallion
Panther Girl of the Congo
Perils of Nyoka 2
Perils of Pauline 2
Perils of the Canadian Mounted 2
Perils of the Wilderness
Phantom
Phantom Creeps
Phantom Empire 2
Phantom of the Air 2
Phantom Rider 2
Pirate Treasure 2
Pirates of the High Seas 2
Power Gods 3
Purple Monster Strikes 2
Radar Men from the Moon
Radar Patrol vs Spy King
Radio Patrol 2
Red Barry 2
Red Rider
Red Ryder
Return of Chandu 2
Riders of Death Valley 2
Riders of Ghost City 2
Riding With Buffalo Bill 2
Roaring West 2
Robinson Caruso on Clipper Island
Royal Mounted Rides Again
Rustlers of Red Dog 2
S.O. S. Coast Guard
Scarlet Horseman
Sea Hound 2
Sea Raiders
Secret Agent X-9 2
Secret Agent X-9 1945 2
Secret Code 2
Secret of Treasure Island 2
Shadow 2
Shadow of Chinatown 2
Shadow of the Eagle
Sign of the Wolf
Sir Galahad 2
Sky Raiders 2
Son of Geronimo 2
Son of Tarzan 2
Son of the Guardsman
Son of Zorro 2
Spider Returns 2
Spiders Web
Spy Smasher 2
Superman 2
Tailspin Tommy & the Great Air Mystery 2
Tailspin Tommy 2
Tarzan the Tiger
Terry & the Pirates 2
Tex Granger 2
Three Musketeers 2
Tim Tyler’s Luck 2
Trader Tom of the High Seas 2
Undersea Kingdom 2
Valley of Vanishing Men 2
Vanishing Legion
Vanishing Shadow
Vigilante 2
Vigilantes are Coming 2
Whispering Shadows 2
White Eagle 2
Who’s Guilty 2
Winners of the West 2
Wolf Dog
Wolves of Kultar 2
Zorro Rides Again
Zorro’s Black Whip
Zorro’s Fighting Legion.


Movies. Only movies from 30's, 40's and 50's. Crime and Mystery,

$2.00 Better 89
3 on a Match 130
711 Ocean Drive 155
A Bullet for Waiting 38
Above Suspicion 42
Accomplice 42
Act of Violence 149
Action of the Tiger 43
Alibi 43
Alimony 82
Angel Face 38
Another Man’s Poison 134
Apology for Murder 152
Appointment in London 39
Armored Car Robbery 155
Arnello Affair 47
Arsene Lupin 59
Arsene Lupin Returns 59,73
Baby Face Morgan 92
Bad Guy 53
Bars of Hate 127
Basketball Fix 87
Bat Whispers 58
Beggars in Ermine 141
Behind the Curtain 129
Berlin Express 153
Best of the City 45
Bewitched 5
Big Combo 123
Big House 8,30
Big Steal 36
Big Town After dark 118
Black Angel 33
Black Gold 127
Black Hand 153
Blackmail 70
Blind Adventure 34
Blind Alibi 44
Blonde Bait 112
Blonde Ice 47
Blue Gardenia 78
Blue Lamp 30
Blueprint for Murder 154
Body & Soul 151
Body Disappears 38
Boomerang 79
Border Incident 23
Borderline 120
Born for Trouble 53
Bridge of Sighs 122
Brighton Strangler 136
Buried Alive 121
Caged 78
Calcutta 153
Call me Homicide 112
Call Northside 777 48
Calling Philo Vance 41
Cannon City 54
Casino Murder Case 39
Cat People 4
Cell 2455 Death Row 136
Chicago Confidential 147
Chicago Deadline 25
Chinatown after Dark 141
Circumstantial Evidence 52
City of Missing girls 82
City of Shadows 42
City that Never Sleeps 128
Clay Pigeon 79
Clouded Yellow 73
C-Man 2
Condemned to Live 84
Condemned Women 138
Cornered 33
Counter Espionage 73
Crash Out 156
Crime Wave 149
Crisscross 148
Crooked Way 157
Crosby Case 58
Crossfire 36,
Cry Danger 77
Cry in the City 154
Cry of the City 24
Cry of the Hunted 149
Cry Terror 156
Cry Vengeance 7,37
Damned Don’t Cry 151
Danger Signal 147
Dangerous Lady 123
Dangerous Passage 141
Dangerous Woman 137
Dark City 77
Dark Corner 150
Dark Mirror 152
Dark mutiny 120
Dark Passage 158
Dark Past 147
Dark Vengeance 37
Dark Waters 158
Dead Eyes of London 143
Deadline at Dawn 55
Death From a Distance 90
Desert Fury 15
Desperate 152
Desperate Hours 132,139
Destination Murder 79
Detour 85
Double Case of Murder 27
Drive a Crooked Road 145
Elli’s Island 89
Eye for an Eye 135
Face in the Fog 126
Fall Guy 44
Fear in the Night 85
Fingers at the Window 26
Flight To Nowhere 116
Fog Over Frisco 64
Footsteps in the Dark 34
Force of Evil 2
French Key 54
Gambling on the High Seas 137
Gang Bullets 121
Gangs Inc 119
Garden Murder Case 41
Garment Jungle 8
Ghost Ship 78
Gideon 68
Girl in Black Stockings 133
Glass Wall 30
Gold Racket 127
Grand Central Murder 35
Great Flamarion 157
Guilty of Treason 116
Gun Moll 76
Hard Guy 126
Haunted House 84
Having Wonderful Crime 66
Held for Murder 125
Hell 36, 8
Hell’s House 93
Here’s flash Casey 60
Hidden Eye 148
Hitchhiker 6,60
Hollywood Stadium Mystery 86
Hooded Terror 57
House Across the Bay 23
House of Danger 121
House of mutiny 122
House of Secrets 124
House on Telegraph Hill 135
I was a Communist for the FBI 56
Identity Unknown 116
Impact 85
In a lonely Place 81
Inner Circle 87
Inner Sanctum 118
Inside the Walls of Folsom Prison 30
Invisible Killer 90
Jigsaw 83
Jimmy the Gent 40
Johnny One-Eye 82
Kansas City Confidential 46
Kid Glove Killer 32
Killer that Stalked N.Y. 32
King Murder 51,90
King of the Underworld 130
Kiss Before Dying 100
Kiss of Death 16,113
Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye 50
Knock on any Door 114
Lady Gangster
Lady in Death House 20
Lady in Scarlet 51,92
Lady in the Street 11
Lady on a Train 35
Larceny 19
Laura 111
Leave her to Heaven 114
Leopard Man 129
Long Dark Hall 136
Lucky Jordan 128
Madigan 10
Main Street After Dark 81
Man in the Iron Mask 72
Manhunt 46
Margin for Error 38
Mark of the Whistler 110
Mask of Dimitrious 96
Men of San Quentin 125
Miami Story 20
Midnight Limited 91
Midnight Manhunt 117
Midnight Phantom 117
Midnight Story 97
Midnight Warning 52,117
Mildred Pierce 97
Million Dollar Weekend 126
Miss Pinkerton 26
Mouthpiece 40
Mr. & Mrs. North 63
Mr. Dynamite 65
Mr. Reeder in room 13 60
Mrs. O’Malley & Mr. Malone 66
Murder at Dawn 142
Murder at Glen Athol 143
Murder at the Vanities 28
Murder By Contract 4
Murder in Greenwich Village 28
Murder in Soho 88
Murder in the Blue Room 32
Murder in the Fleet 138
Murder in the Museum 86
Murder is My Beat 96
Murder my Sweet 98
Murder on Campus 51
Mystery Liner 93
Mystery Man in Mexico 71
Mystery of the 13th Guest 61
Mystery Street 11,74
Narrow Margin 130
Niagra 6
Night Holds Terror 2
Night of Adventure 45
Night of the Hunter 98
No Man of Her Own 132
No Where to Be 20
Nocturne 41
Notorious 94
Old Dark House 6
On Dangerous Ground 71
Open Secret 119
Out of the Fog 95
Out of the Past 48
Outcasts of the City 115
Panama Gold 127
Panic in the Streets 111
People Against O’Hara 112
Permission to Kill 129
Phantom Broadcast 53
Phantom Lady 75
Phantom of Crestwood 3,49
Phoenix City Story 74
Pickup alley 137
Pickup on South Street 99
Plunder Road 145
Police 13 122
Port of New York 96,123
Possessed 115
Postal Inspector 53
Power 7
Price of Fear 44
Prison Nurse 125
Prison Trail 87
Purple Gang 70
Pushover 70
Quicksand 99
Railroaded 95
Raw Deal 75
Reckless Moment 40
Red House 10,100
Remember Last Night 3
Renfro of the Mounties 1
Revolt in the Big House 111
Road Block 13
Road House 113
Road House Murder 115
Rogue Cop 9
Ronald Reagen Movies 31
Scar 120
Scared 26
Scream in the Night 124
Screaming Mime 131
Sealed Lips 128
Secret Agent 118
Secret Behind the Door 13
Secret Fury 146
Secret of the Chateau 4
Secrets of the French Police 39
Seven Doors to Death 124
Seven Doors to Death 51,125
Shadow of a Doubt 105
Shanghai Gesture 25,106
Shoot to Kill 83
Shortcut to Hell 54
Side Street 101
Sinister Hands 51,88
Sleeping City 102,22
Slight Case of Murder 27
Slightly Honorable 4
Sorry Wrong Number 101
Spellbound 144
Sphinx 53
Split Second 148
Star of Midnight 63
Star Witness 131
State Dept. 649 119
Story of Ester Costello 133
Strange Illusion 89
Stranger on the 3rd Floor 21,
Strangers on a Train 150
Studio Murder Mystery 68
Sudden Fear 109
Sunset Blvd 110
Super Sleuth 57
Suspicion 146
Sworn Enemy 5
Take one False Step 62
The Accused 133
The Bat Whispers 49
The Bribe 80
The Crooked Circle 91
The Dark Hour 93
The Detective 61
The Devil’s Party 91
The Ex-Mrs.. Bradford 62
The Fat Man 72
The Flame 24
The Ghost & the Guest 86
The Guilty 25
The Intruder 144
The Last Mile 16
The Letter 94
The Line-Up 17
The Locket 99
The Lodger 46
The Long Night 14,96
The Maniac 17
The Mob 5
The Night Has Eyes 76
The Payoff 92
The Pretender 71
The Prowler 15
The Racket 81.114
The Set Up 110
The Sniper 50,108
The Suspect 80
The Terror 143
The Tip Off 76
The Trap 17
The Undercover Man 50
The Unsuspected 107
The Weapon 47
The Wrong Man 103
They Live by Night 12
They Made me a Killer 140
They won’t Believe me 106
Thirteenth Hour 29
This Gun for Hire 104,145
Thunderbolt 134
T-Men 106
To Late for Tears 83
Tomorrow at Seven 142
Torchy Blaine Mysteries 69-72
Trapped 21,140
Try & Get Me 21
Undercover Man 105
Union Station 104
Verdict 9
Voice of the Whistler 106
Wayne Murder Case 58.142
We Who are About to Die 131
Wheel of Fortune 7
Where the Sidewalk Ends 12,25
While the City Sleeps 80
Whirlpool 109
Whispering City 140
Whispering Street 18
Wicked Lady 133
Woman on Pier 13 24
Woman on the Beach 22,102
Women Condemned 52,88
You & Me 2
You Only Live Once 108

Nos. represent disk it's on. Most have 2 or on a disk.

Have a ton of old westerns

Harvey
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Old 04-13-2006, 01:05 PM   #164
loren
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal
I'm a paralegal...FAMILY LAW. I have never heard anything remotely like this stuff. But it is fake because like I mentioned before, I have seen the same wording of these statements. The only difference is it changes from British women, to Florida women, Texas women, etc etc etc. And also, you can find these on those joke boards, joke websites, etc. I get them alot in my email from friends and other sources.
yes im sure this is a fake, or a joke

however

i lived near a huge military complex for several years

and to top this off, the government saw fit to unlease about 15000 of the cuban refugees onto a community of under 10000 as well, and not one of them was a family, only males--just to further compund the matter

my ex wife and daughter lived in a federal assisted housing complex

believe this

i actualy can put names on many of these very same ideas, that were in the joke above

harvey posts jokes and interesting funny things, take it as it is meant, interesting and funny
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Old 04-13-2006, 01:13 PM   #165
Ireneparalegal
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What cuban refugees have to do with a joke, I have no clue...

I was only responding to his sentence that said THESE ARE GENUINE...I am merely pointing out that they are not. It is a joke. that's all. nothing more.
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