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Old 09-07-2012, 06:53 PM   #1
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Smile Frasier funny quotes

Frasier & the gang had so many great funny lines & quotes that I thought we could post some our favorites.


Frasier - "Thanks for coming down to celebrate my 2000th show."

Bulldog - "Yeah, yeah, congrats, didn't think you'd last 2 weeks."
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Old 09-07-2012, 06:57 PM   #2
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Martin - "Oh jeez, the disposal's jammed. Stick your hand down there & see what's stuck, will ya?"

Niles - "Ah dad, it's me Niles."
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Old 09-07-2012, 08:48 PM   #3
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I love a couple from the Pilot episode.

Martin had just moved in and Frasier was telling him about his furniture.
Martin: "Nothing matches."
Frasier:"It's a style of decorating, it's called eclectic."
Martin gives him a weird look.
Frasier:"Well the theory behind it is, if you've got really fine pieces of furniture, it doesn't matter if they match. They will go together."
Martin: "It's your money."

Later a delivery man drops off Martin's chair..
Frasier: "Dad as dear as this piece is to you, I just don't think it goes with anything here."
Martin: "I know, it's eclectic!"

Frasier answers the door and Daphne is standing there with her hand down her blouse.
Daphne: "Oh, hello. Caught me with me hand in the biscuit tin. I'm Daphne, Daphne Moon."
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:19 PM   #4
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^ Those are great! ^

Niles - "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to look into getting some of Maris's eggs frozen."

Frasier - "Oh I suspect they're only a few degrees away from that now."
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:35 AM   #5
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Frasier talking to Niles about Gertrude...

"All the wine presses in Bordeaux wouldn't crush that woman."
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:47 PM   #6
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^Good one! lol!

At Cafe Nervosa, Roz with a new boyfriend

Roz - "Isn't he fabulous?"

Frasier - "Yes, Yes, fabulous sums it up in a word."

Martin - "I think he's perfect for you Roz, good looking, friendly and not gay at all."
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Old 02-15-2013, 06:49 AM   #7
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Frasier: I cut myself shaving because I was shaving without water. Why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, which called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built!
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Old 02-15-2013, 05:45 PM   #8
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^ Good One!

Frasier talking to Eddie after a rough day at the station and you get the feeling he wasn't too fond of pets.

Frasier - "Don't stare at me Eddie. I'm a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan."
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:20 AM   #9
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Frasier: I see. So we set a lizard loose to catch the cricket? Then what? We get an owl to eat the gecko?! Then we get a tiger to eat the owl? What eats the tiger, dad? Tell me that!
MARTIN: An alligator, for one, smart guy!
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Old 04-21-2013, 02:04 PM   #10
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^ lol! ^

Frasier talking to Roz about dating a Frenchman.

Frasier -"So that's it, huh? No Americans left to date?"
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Old 05-28-2013, 06:03 PM   #11
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Frasier - "Have you been listening to me?"

Martin - "Well I tried not to but some of it still got through."
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Old 05-29-2013, 05:01 AM   #12
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Niles comes out, covered in shaving cream

Martin:You know what must've happened? My Hot-N-Foamy must've exploded!
Daphne:He was a detective, you know!

Frasier:Well, no matter what you're feeling now, your reasoning is still sound.
Niles:My reasoning?! My reasoning was based on my mother's obsession with vermin!

Daphne:You know what's curious, though?
Frasier(high on painkillers):Cats?!

Niles:What's that perfume you're wearing?
Daphne(Laughs):Leave it to you to notice. It's Obsession.
Niles:No, it isn't! I was just curious!
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Old 05-29-2013, 09:22 AM   #13
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Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do, I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
------
Frasier (about the cricket): Dear God, make him shut up!
Martin: That prayer doesn't get answered around here.
-------
Martin (on the phone): Oh hello, Duke. I can't talk right now. I'm in the Twilight Zone!
--------
Rick's (Alice's father) dad: What's that I smell?
Martin: Probably Japan!
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Old 05-19-2015, 04:06 PM   #14
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Frasier: "How can anyone make a sound judgement about another person on the basis of one phone call?"

Niles: "Remind me again what it is you do for a living!"
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Old 05-20-2015, 04:04 PM   #15
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A Niles & Roz quote:
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