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Old 09-18-2020, 05:04 AM   #286
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"If I didn't need you, I'd exterminate you."
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Old 09-20-2020, 10:35 AM   #287
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Shemp: There's a thousand reasons why I shouldn't drink, but I can't think of one right now.
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Old 09-20-2020, 12:26 PM   #288
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Moe: "Brighto, Brighto, makes old bodies new."
Larry: "We'll sell a million bottles."
Curly: "Woo woo woo woo woo."

Moe: (to Curly) "What is it?"
Curly: "A man wants to know what to do about inflammation."
Man: "Why ask us? Tell him to dial inflammation."
Curly: (into telephone)"You heard it."
(He hangs up.)
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Old 09-20-2020, 12:52 PM   #289
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Moe: "Who threw those pies?"
Curly: "Who threw those pies?"

Reporter: "Professor, I can't stand it any longer. Who is throwing those pies?"
Professor Duckfeather: "Oh, I threw the pies."
(He laughs. A pie hits him in the face.)
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Old 09-20-2020, 08:41 PM   #290
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"Cheerio, Pi-Pip, and all that sort of rot, old thing, old stuff, old fishmonger, old skunk bait!"
(Larry)
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Old 09-21-2020, 05:57 PM   #291
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Curly & the werewolf:
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Old 09-22-2020, 12:25 PM   #292
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"You mean the one with the numbers on it and the letters L-R-L-R-L-R-L?" "That's it, that's it, yes, yes where is it?" "I never saw it."
(Shemp and Terry Hargen)
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Old 09-23-2020, 08:36 PM   #293
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Curly: "Flat as a floogie."
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Old 09-24-2020, 02:07 AM   #294
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Moe: "T.H. What's that stand for?"
Shemp: "Let's see; T.H....T.H...hmmm...I got it! Teddy Hoosovelt!"
Moe: "Wrong quiz kid" (slaps him)
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the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
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Old 09-25-2020, 08:29 AM   #295
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"We gotta get a longer jeep."
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Old 09-25-2020, 06:46 PM   #296
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Curly: "I've got a million of 'em. Am I mortified."

Larry: "A marble machine in jail!"
Moe: "That's where they belong."

Curly: "Maybe he's in solitary refinement!"

Woman: "Do you feel a draft?"
Moe: "Draft? No, I was exempted."

Curly: "I come from a family of dancers. My father died dancing... At the end of a rope."
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Old 09-26-2020, 07:26 AM   #297
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"Oh boy, limburger! My favorite fruit."
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Old 09-26-2020, 06:32 PM   #298
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Moe: (repeated line)"That's enough."
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Old 10-01-2020, 05:25 AM   #299
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"My uncle made a fortune in corn... at $10 a gallon."
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Old 10-05-2020, 09:15 AM   #300
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Moe Howard: Curly, go get the chainsaw.
Curly Howard: Why can't Larry do it?
Moe Howard: 'Cause he's got a headache.
Larry Fine: No I don't!
Moe Howard: [hits Larry on the head with a hammer] How 'bout now?!
Larry Fine: Yeah, it's comin' on.
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