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Old 06-27-2012, 12:09 PM   #106
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Grandma was mad as Hell
It wasn't hard to tell
The ham she was cookin
Was funny lookin
It was blue and had a terrible smell.
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:11 PM   #107
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The Mayor was taken away
Feds said he neglected to pay
The taxes he owed
For kickbacks that flowed
But the Mayor had nothing to say.
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:13 PM   #108
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John was always in debt
Bills he would always get
At least 5 a day
That he could not pay
Even his dog owed the vet.
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Old 06-27-2012, 07:01 PM   #109
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There once was an albino named Jay
Who was afraid to come out in the day
He'd go out at night
Avoid all forms of light
And into the dark he would play.
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Old 06-27-2012, 08:07 PM   #110
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There once was a man named Fred
Who went into a place to be fed
But before he could scarf
He wanted to barf
Cuz his food had more hair than his head.
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Old 06-27-2012, 08:32 PM   #111
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Joe brought back the jar to Doctor Lee
" I filled it up as you can see "
Lee said, " This is absurd "
" This is a turd "
" I meant for you to pee "
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Old 06-28-2012, 02:57 AM   #112
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There once was a fellow named Chad
Whose breath smelled extremely bad
Under his arms he would lick
Like a deodorant stick
He was truly a disgusting lad.
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:00 AM   #113
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A fisherman was looking for trout
He could see them swimming about
But when he would wait
They would steal his bait
And that would cause him to pout.
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Old 06-28-2012, 10:23 PM   #114
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There once was a girl named Rose
Whose finger got stuck up her nose
She was doin some pickin
Cuz her nostrils were stickin
And her finger was the tool that she chose.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:13 AM   #115
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There was trouble at the zoo
Nobody knew what to do
Some tigers got out
Were running about
Looking for someone to chew.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:34 AM   #116
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There once was a mummy named Tut
Whose tomb was carefully shut
Along came some men
Who wanted to get in
And the mummy told them to kiss his butt.
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Old 07-01-2012, 07:00 PM   #117
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There once was a chauffeur named Ed
Whose eyes were on the back of his head
In order to steer
His seat faced the rear
So he could see directly ahead.
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Old 07-01-2012, 07:22 PM   #118
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There once was a fellow named Rick
Inside his ear lived a tick
It took over his brain
Made him insane
And convinced him that he was St.Nick.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:09 AM   #119
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A horse walked into a bar
He said, " My owner just bought a new car "
" He don't want me no more "
" So get ready to pour "
" It's leaving an emotional scar "
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Old 07-03-2012, 03:45 AM   #120
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A man looked back on his past
The years sure seemed to go fast
He'd return if he could
To the times that were good
But this time he'd like them to last.
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