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Old 11-25-2019, 08:32 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,201
Default Honeymooners Episode Rviews: "We Spy", "Two-Family Car", "Mama Loves Mambo" & more:

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "We Spy", "Two-Family Car", "Mama Loves Mambo", "Jellybeans" & "The Turkey":

Note: Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I decided to repost these reviews. Ironically, there was one Thanksgiving sketch that was typed but never shown and is available at UCLA. It is called "Thanksgiving Dinner."

Episode #179 (Syndicated episode #8)
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to “You’re In The Picture”, “Petticoat Jungle” & the Great Gleason (bonus feature).
Air Date: 12/3/66

"We Spy":

The title of the episode is a play on the show and movie "I Spy."

As the Berlin Express arrives in Germany, a bunch of “Germans” (aka June Taylor Dancers) sing: “Berlin Express Is At The Station Now.” A marching band comes out and plays music as the dancers sing. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Germany. Ed is carrying the entire luggage off the train because Ralph claims that he strained his back. He strained his back while putting the luggage in Ed's hands. Ha! Alice asked him why he didn’t get a porter to carry the luggage. He said that he didn't want a porter to take advantage of them. Ed: "I don't need one to take advantage of me. I got you to take advantage of me." They wait for the Flakey-Wakey people. They want their picture taken, so Ed asks a German person. Ed: "Hey Schweinehund" Ralph corrects him. Ralph: "It's Herr Schweinehund." Alice says to greet someone in German, you say: "Mein herr." Ralph tries to ask a German man. The man reveals his bald head and so Ralph says to never mind. Ha! Ed has an idea on how to get a picture of the four of us without having to ask a stranger. Pictures will be taken with two different people and at the end; the pictures will be glued together like a collage. Ralph doesn't like it. He says that it is the most ridiculous story that he ever heard. Ed says: "What about the idea of a grown man dressing up as a cat on Halloween." Ralph: "When did I do that?" Ed: "I did." Mr. Steinhardt, The Flakey-Wakey man comes and addresses himself as the German representative. He was late. He came from the frontier. He says that in Germany, there's the Western zone & Eastern zone. You can not go into the Eastern zone unless you have the proper credentials. Of course, since the fall of the U.S.S.R., I believe that Germany is no longer divided, but I could be wrong. He says that the Eastern zone is dangerous. Ralph wants to go to a restaurant and sink his teeth into a German rathskeller. He is later informed that a rathskeller is a restaurant. The man says that for doing something different that most Americans don't do is to take a hike in a German forest. The man: "The German forest has the most beautiful scenery in the WORLD." Ralph likes the idea, but he is alone. Ralph: "In a foreign country, you got to live like a native." Alice: "In Brooklyn, I live like a native." Ed wants to go sightseeing with the girls. Ralph orders to come with him. Wow, what a friend he is. A marching band comes. Ralph grabs the drum and sings a German song. Everyone grabs an instrument and joins Ralph in song Ed gets a horn and scares Ralph when he plays it. Ha!

At a top of a mountain, two Russian people set up a marker and sign that said: "Zutritt Nicht Erlabut 3anpethar 3oha." That sign means that this is a Russian firing area. You can tell that the background in this scene is fake. They leave. Ralph arrives, dropping paper so it will make it easier for him to remember the way back. He looks ridiculous. Ralph: "This will look like a great place for a picnic." Ed comes behind and picks up the trash. Ralph yells at him because he put the trash there so he will remember the way back. Ralph: "We are probably lost." Ed brings up a map. He says that he was a Naval Intelligence during the last war. He could have been drafted to Army Intelligence if didn't have a choice. The marines wanted him but he couldn't spell Montezuma (sp?). He gets out his map and says that he knows where they are; right smack in the middle of the North, South, East & West. He says that they are in another county. The county's name on the map: Verboten. They say that it is like Flushing. Ralph talks about how nice it is up here. They sit down. Ed asks what the sign says. Ralph says that it says: "No smoking." I would ask questions like why a "No smoking" sign would be in the middle of nowhere as well as how could Ralph say that that sign says "No Smoking" on a sign that has five Russian words. Ed likes hitchhiking Ralph. Ralph says that that marker is there to tell people that this is picnic area. Ed says that Ralph is a walking encyclopedia. Ed tells that Ralph brought some things from Flakey-Wakey boxes back home like a map to tell you where Captain Kidd's treasure is and an Orphan Annie code ring etc. Ed gets Ralph a can opener so he can eat soup. Both of them sing a song about how quiet and peaceful it is up there and they lie on the ground while singing. They get up. Ed smokes a cigarette. Ralph says that they can't, but allows it since no one is around. A firing shot is heard. Ed: "When they mean 'No smoking', they mean it." Ralph: "That was just a sonic boom." More firing shots and explosions are heard and seen. Ralph & Ed duck and cover. The Russians get them and take them back into their headquarters in Russia.

At the Russian headquarters, Ralph & Ed are detained. They are told that they are going to be interrogated. Ed says he will bring this story up in the next meeting of the International Headquarters of the Friendly Raccoons." Ralph: "The Raccoons have no more relations with Russia. Right after our Superior Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler got thrown out of the tea room because he was drunk." Ed: "I hope they don't brainwash us. I would hate to come out of this thing stupid." The interrogator comes. Interrogator: "You two are the two American spies." Ralph says that they are not. Interrogator: "What were you two doing in the Russian firing range?" Ed: "I don't have to tell you anything. Because of the Geneva conventions, all I have to do is tell you my name, address & social security number." Ralph tells him the truth but the interrogator doesn't believe him. Interrogator, grabbing Ed's map, asks what they are doing with this map of Russian gunning placements. Ralph says it isn't and him & Ed try to tell him the truth. It doesn't work. The Interrogator gets out the ring. Ed says he uses it to decipher codes. Boy oh boy! Ralph yells at Ed to tell him what the code is. The code: "My name is Ed Norton. I live at 328 Chauncey Street and my zip code is 10059." The interrogator asks them to confess or they would be transferred to Moscow. The interrogator threatens to torture them. They will put bamboo shoots underneath their finger nails and light them with a match and force your friend to sit down and watch. The interrogator gives them more time and asks the guard to guard them. Ed has a plan. He will trick them into thinking that he is talking into a radio that is in his fountain pen and when the guard comes to see what the matter is, he will shoot the ink in his eyes and escapes. The plan works until Ed realizes that he was using a ballpoint pen. Ha! Ralph has a plan. He gets up and asks if the guard ever saw that 60's TV show that starred Bill Cosby. The guy says no. Ralph beats him up and he is dragged into a closet. Ralph & Ed grab uniforms so they will look like Russians. While this is happening, a Russian person brings in an important man from Moscow and his friend. They leave. Ralph & Ed come out dressed just like the important man and his friend .The plan works until one of the Russian guards sees them and assumes that he is officer Koslov and officer Belinski (the names of the important man from Moscow and his friend.) They say that Russians are planning a banquet in his honor tonight. He offers to drive them to it. "Koslov" tries to decline so he and Norton can escape but Norton, being stupid, says he wants to be driven to the banquet.

At the banquet, Russian dancers (June Taylor dancers) & male dancers are dancing in front of "Koslov" & "Belinski." "Belinski" says he wants to go home and beat the traffic since its Thanksgiving weekend. Ha! Russian: "Thanksgiving?" Ralph says that it is a new holiday in Moscow and the Russian believes him. That Russian must be stupid for him to believe that. They will celebrate Thanksgiving here. The Russian talks to "Koslov" and remembers his childhood with him. He asks what was the nickname that he used to call him. "Belinski" says it was "fatso." Russian: "That's right." They try to leave. Russian: "First you will honor us with a speech." "Koslov" (with a sudden raspy voice): "I would like to make a speech but I got a sore throat." A sore throat that he didn't have five seconds ago. "Koslov" says that "Belinski" also can't make a speech because of his sore throat. "Belinski": "My throat is fine. I will make a speech." He does. "Belinski": "Fellow Raccoons, I mean fellow Russians..." He mentions Governor Ronald Reagan. He talks about the problem with the Chinese is that everyone is ordering from Column A and no one is ordering from Column B. Ha! He ends his speech. The Russian asks to do his kazatski dance. He declines. They try to leave, but they run into the real Belinski and Koslov. Ralph & Ed's reaction, they run through the “glass” windows.

The Kramdens & Nortons are scheduled to leave Berlin at 2:30pm. At the train station the next day, the boys run into the girls and explain the whole situation of where they were and why are they are wearing Russian uniforms. The girls don't believe them even when Ralph says: "Where do you think I got this uniform from" Alice (reading the label): "'The Fat Man's Shop.'" Ralph & Ed see the two people that captured them and asked them what they are doing. They are going on a train to Moscow to celebrate Thanksgiving. Ralph: "I must have done something special for international relations." All of them leave in Berlin, Germany. I hate it when episodes of TV shows end with husbands tell the wives the truth and the wives don't believe them. On a side note, what happened to Ed Norton's kit?

During the curtain call, Jackie just says good night to everyone. That's it. I guess they ran into a time problem.

Episode #154 (Syndicated episode #103)
TV: Attached to "Anniversary Gift."
VCR: Attached to "New Year's Eve Party."
DVD: Attached to "New Year's Eve Party" & "My Man Norton." On the Restored Lost Episodes Box Set, it is attached to “Expectant Father”, “Goodnight Sweet Prince”, “Love Letter” (’56 version), “Finders Keepers”, “Catch A Star” & My Fair Landlord.”
Air Date: 11/17/56

"Two-Family Car":

Alice is cleaning the fire escape when the mop part of the mop falls and it lands on Ralph's head. Ralph (sarcastically): "This is one of those New Italian haircuts." Ralph says to Alice that he is going bowling so make dinner fast. A man comes by with a telegram. Ralph accepts the telegram. The man expects a tip. Ralph gives him a dime. Ralph (to the man): "I'm doing my job to hold down inflation now get out of here." Ralph reads the telegram. Ralph (excitedly, yells): "OH BABY! OH BABY!" He tells Alice of all the times that Alice said that Ralph was stupid for taking chances to win some things when the odds were low. Hey, I would do the same thing. Ralph explained that he won a contest from the Theresa Grata Service League and the grand prize is a 1957 4 door Sedan Deluxe. According to the telegram, the prize will arrive tonight along with a person from the league. He says that since they have a car, he will no longer have to borrow Cassidy's car. Ralph: "Now, I don't even have to talk to that bum Cassidy." Ralph is sure being ungrateful. Ralph promises to take Alice for a spin in the car. Ralph then explains that he got a ticket that gave him the one and a million chance of winning the grand prize by walking out a bowling alley with Norton. The sign for the contest said something like: "Give to charity and have a chance to win a prize." A ticket costs 50 cents. All he had was a quarter so he asks Norton for a quarter. Alice says that since Ralph did that, Norton owns half the car. Ralph goes into the bedroom.

Ralph (coming out, yells): "HE OWNS HALF THE CAR?" Ralph is upset. Alice asks him to bring Norton down. Ralph doesn't want to do so tonight. Ralph: "Just one night without that nut (Ed)." Alice is not hearing anything of it. She asks him to call Ed down. Ralph calls Ed down. Ralph tries to cheat Norton by offering to pay back the twenty-five cents after explaining that he has a guilty conscience by asking him for a quarter that other night that would have given him enough money so he could get a ticket that will guarantee a one and a million chance to win a car. Ed: "We won the car! We won the car! We won the car!" Ralph (to Alice): "Are you satisfied? I told him." Ralph then makes plans for him and Alice to use the car on Sunday just so they can see Alice's mom. Ed: "I have plans to use the car on Sunday. I want to drive to Maryland. The Aberdeen Proving Grounds is doing a test on dum-dum bullets." Ralph: "You can forget the dum-dum bullets dum-dum." Ralph & Ed then make an agreement for each of them to have the cars some days. Ralph offers the car for five days to Ed. Those days are Mon-Fri. Ed doesn't like that so he wants the other two days. Ralph: "Fine! Your two days are Wednesday and Thursday." Alice: "Ralph!" Ed: "Leave him alone Alice. I got my two days." Boy is Ed dumb. Alice says that this car thing needs to be settled equally. Ralph: "What do you want me to do, cut the car in half?" Ed: "That's good. One of us will take the back seat and one of us will take the front seat." Ralph offers to take the front seat. Ed: "That's where the engine is and if the engine needs any repair, you are to take care of it." Ralph now exchanges the front seat with the back seat. Ed: "That's where the gas tank is so if the car needs any gas, you will take care of it." Ralph: "I don't care."

Alice reminds Ralph that that man from the Theresa Grata Service League should arrive here in a few minutes and he has to have his ticket ready for him. He goes to get it and comes back with a box full of contest tickets. Ed spots a ticket for an old contest in which the grand prize was a 1932 Essex. Ed reads the name of the charity that gave Ralph the ticket: "The League to add chlorine to the Passaic River." Ralph gets the Theresa Grata Service League ticket out. Ed: "No wonder we won. The ticket has my lucky number. 26409333206988764322." Quite possibly, that would be the world's largest lucky number EVER for a person. The man from the Theresa Grata Service league comes with the prize...a turkey. Man: "You didn't win first prize (the car), you won 26th prize. Good night and happy Thanksgiving to you folks." This episode was shown on the Saturday before the 1956 Thanksgiving. Ed laughs at the turkey. Ralph: "What's so funny?" Ed: "You wanted the back half." Ralph kicks Ed out. Alice: "You sure got yours Ralph." Ralph (to the turkey): "I got mine. Come Thursday, you get yours."

Episode #132 (Syndicated episode #23)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Babysitter."On some tapes, it is attached to "Ralph Kramden, Inc.", "Young At Heart", "A Dog's Life", "Here Comes The Bride" & "Please Leave The Premises." On some tapes, it is attached to "Please Leave The Premises."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), Young Man With A Horn”, “Head of The House” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “The Worry Wart”, Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large” (aka “Trapped”), “The Loudspeaker”, “On Stage”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17 - #24 of the Classic 39. On Fan Favorites: Best of The Honeymooners, it is attached to “TV or Not TV”, “Funny Money”, “The Golfer”, “The Sleepwalker”, “Better Living Through TV”, “The Man From Space” & “$99,000 Answer.” The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes as the SD DVD set and also includes two versions of $99,000 Answer (one that has the original sponsor materials), two versions of "A Dog's Life" (one that has the original sponsor materials), two versions of "Please Leave The Premises" (one that has the original sponsor materials), Jackie Gleason interview from 60 Minutes and outtakes from that interview.
Air Date: 3/3/56

"Mama Loves Mambo":

To see the script of this episode, click here:

In the early 2000s, TV Land did a Thanksgiving marathon and they chose this episode to be a part of it. I am not sure this would qualify as a Thanksgiving episode since it aired AFTER Thanksgiving and there is no mention of the holiday, so...

Ralph overhears that a new neighbor has moved into the building. He has gray hair and is unmarried. Alice asks Ralph to deliver him some of the food that she made for him. Alice goes up with a basket to get the laundry. Ralph agrees and when Norton comes down, he hears about the unmarried old man that moved in next door. Ralph: "We should go over to his place and play games with him." Suddenly, the unmarried old man comes in and he doesn't look like he's as old as Ralph and Ed thought. The studio audience applauds because the actor that played him is named Charles Korvin. He says that is the guy who moved in next door. Ed: "He looks pretty well-preserved." His name is Carlos Sanchez and he needs to borrow a hammer. He also has a Latin accent. Carlos talks about how he met their wives. Carlos: "You must be Trixie's husband." Ed: "Yeah, I am and you better get to know her and me pretty good because we might be moving tomorrow." Carlos: "Trixie never said." Ed: "She doesn’t know it yet." The boys are acting jealous. Ralph and Ed discuss their jobs and the fact they work during the day. Carlos: "I'm a dancer. I work nights. So, I will be here all day." D'oh! Not something they wanted to hear. Alice asks Ralph to open the door. She's back with the laundry. Carlos offers to help Alice with the load. Alice: "Thank you Mr. Sanchez. I wish that there were more gentlemen around here (referring to Ralph & Ed.)" Ralph: "Wait a minute. How many times have I asked you not to take down a laundry basket that full? Next time, make two trips." Gee, that helps...NOT! If I had to get the laundry, I would try to take it all in one trip. Carlos asks Alice to start calling him Carlos. Ralph gives Carlos the hammer. Ralph: "If you don't mind, hasta-la-vista!" Carlos leaves. Alice: "Carlos is such a gentlemen." Ralph and Ed are mad. Ed says he will give Carlos Trixie's potato salad. Ed: "Before I had Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable. So, this will fix his wagon." Gee, in "Peacemaker", Ed says that he loves Trixie's cooking. Ed: "Listen Ralph, as long as were neighbors, you don't have to call me Norton. Call me Edwardo." Ralph kicks him out. I can just picture Ralph yelling out the window: "EDWARDO! EDWARDO!"

The next day, while Ralph is at work, Carlos is busy teaching all the girls how to do the mambo. The record player is playing the record. I like the girls dancing. Mrs. Manicotti: "Carlos, do I have the hip movement?" She wiggles her hips. Carlos: "You do Mrs. Manicotti." Carlos puts on another record. They dance again. Ralph comes home, acknowledges everyone and then notices that Carlos is teaching them how to dance. Ralph (yells): "HOLD IT! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!" Ralph stops the record. Ralph: "Ooooooooooh Carlos was teaching you how to do the mambo. That puts a different light on things. For a minute there, I didn't know what you were doing. Now, I know that you girls were doing the mambo that makes a world of difference...." (yells): "EVERYBODY OUT!" Yeah, Ralph didn't embarrass anybody AT ALL. Mrs. Manicotti: "But Mr. Kramden, its fun." Ralph: "And you, at your age, should be ashamed of yourself." Alice calls it a day. Ralph (to Carlos): "As for you Rudy Valentino, out!" Alice is upset at Ralph. Ralph: "I come home after a hard day's work and you going like this." (Ralph wiggles his hips. Girls in the audience scream.) Ralph: "You want to wiggle? Wiggle over to the stove and get my supper." Ed comes down all steamed at Carlos too. Ralph & Alice continue their fight. Ralph says that Carlos is a troublemaker. Wow, he thinks that Carlos is a troublemaker? Alice: "Carlos teaches us like women. You have seem to forgotten that I'm a woman." Ralph: "How could I? You're always yappin'." Alice: "You wouldn't even think of tipping your hat." Ralph does that and orders Alice to make him dinner. Alice goes into the bedroom. Mr. Manicotti walks in. It's revealed that his first name is Bill. Bill: "That wife is driving me crazy. All she thinks about is mambo." He says that when she dances the mambo, she knocks off all the dishes on the table because of her size. Carlos walks in to take back his record player. Ralph and Ed voice their frustrations. Ralph: "You must have some nerve." The boys say that with Carlos' behavior, their lives are more miserable. Carlos says he will not be a pain anymore and asks if the girls want them to do simple gentlemanly things, why do they not do it. Ralph: "Because it's too much trouble." Carlos says that he thinks all wives are worth going through trouble for and if he was married, he will do gentlemanly things for her." Ralph feels remorseful. Ralph says that him, Ed & Bill have been taking their wives for granted and says that maybe we should talk to more unmarried people. Ralph: "Carlos, one thing. Could you teach me to mambo?" Carlos obliges and asks everybody to follow his lead. Ralph does, but then makes up several dance moves on the fly, thus making for one funny scene. One of my favorite scenes in this episode. Ralph would do this same dance again on the Honeymooners Valentine's Special in '78. This scene from this Classic 39 episode would be repeated on CNN'S Larry King Live special about The Honeymooners in 2002.

Sunday morning, Ralph is acting all gentlemanly, much to Alice's chagrin. Ralph: "We don't have to be at church until 11." He insists that Alice stay in bed and he will make her breakfast in bed, but he keeps asking Alice where some things to make the breakfast are. Alice ends up walking back and forth several times. Couldn't she just yell at him where they were? Alice says that she wants to have breakfast out in the kitchen. Ralph says that he will make the beds but asks where the sheets are. Alice shows him where they are. Trixie comes down all upset that Ed has been acting gentlemanly. Ed comes down all upset that he couldn't open the door for her, so they do it again. Alice greets them. Ed: "Mambo anyone?" Ed joins Ralph in the bedroom to join him in the manly errand of making the beds. He dances his way to the bedroom. The girls admitted that they asked for them to be gentlemen, and they boys are doing it. Trixie says that at 3am, Ed wanted to get something to drink, so he woke her up, just so he can tip his hat before he left the room. Sounds like he's trying too hard. The guys come out and Ralph serves the girls his sorry excuse for oatmeal. Gee, I wonder if Quaker Oats heard of this part of the episode. Ed admits that the oatmeal is awful looking and the girls agree. The girls ask for the boys to go back to the way they were and that they were the ones who were in the wrong. Alice: "I found out that I've been a pretty lucky girl. I married a man who's crazy about me." The boys go back to the way they were much to the girls delight. Ralph even says (yells): "LISTEN TO THIS! GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD ALICE. I'M THE KING HERE. REMEMBER THAT! THIS HOUSE IS MY CASTLE. I'M THE KING. REMEMBER THAT! KING! KING! KING! YOU ARE NOTHING, A PHEASANT. THIS IS MY HOUSE. MY CASTLE. I'M THE KING." Alice laughs and Ralph is happy.

Episode #33 (Syndicated episode #61)
TV: Attached to "Goodnight Sweet Prince."
VCR: Attached to "Cottage For Sale."
DVD: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand", "Alice Plays Cupid" and "Cottage For Sale." On the Lost Episodes Restored Box Set, it is attached to “The New Bowling Ball”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show”, “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “The Turkey” & “Six Months To Live.”
Air Date: 11/22/52


According to John K’s book “To The Moon”, this episode is called “The Jar of Jellybeans.”

The script materical for this sketch is available for viewing at UCLA Library Special Collections. Box 110 Folder 15.

The episode opens up with Ralph seeing how many jellybeans he can put into the can jar. Alice comes home after visiting her ill mother. She says that she wants to buy a dress that is on sale. Alice eventually notices that Ralph hasn't said hello to her and is still counting. Alice asks him what he is doing. Ralph responds by saying that on his way home, he stopped by a store and in the store they had a contest in which you had to guess how many jellybeans are in the jar. He got an idea. He got a jar that looks like the one the store had and bought some jellybeans. I don't know what the name of the store is. He figures that without guessing on his part, he will win the prize which he thinks is $100. Alice says that Ralph's head is full of jellybeans.

Alice says to Ralph to come with her so she can buy the dress. Alice: "Come on! Hurry up! The sale ends tonight." Ralph: "So does the contest. I am not leaving until I finish counting." Alice says that the first night of the sale, she couldn't go because Ralph was tired and on the second night, she couldn't go because Ralph had to go bowling. Back then and maybe now, it wasn't safe for a girl to walk the streets at night alone.

Ralph makes a mistake in counting. He says: "4,442" so Alice corrects him by saying that there are 4,443 jellybeans in the jar. Ralph: "Why are you getting me all mixed up for? Now, I have to start all over again." I am not to sure if her correction was correct.

Ed Norton comes in wearing his traditional Ed Norton outfit, but only this time he's wearing a white tank top rather than a white t-shirt. Ralph is still counting, but he forgot how many jellybeans are in the jar, so he asks Alice who says: "3,478." Forget about the fact that she said that there were more than 4,000 jellybeans in the jar a few seconds ago. Ralph is worried that he will forget, so he tries to write the number down. As he does this, Ed decides to eat some of the jellybeans in the jar. Ralph: "Why did you eat those jellybeans for?" Ed: "What is the matter? What are they, poisoned?" Ralph: "No, they are counted."

Ralph says to Ed that he is in a contest and explains the rules of the contest to Ed. Ed says that all those contests are crooked. Ed: "I was in a contest once. You had to name all the states. I got gypped out of the first prize. I named 66 states. The guy that won only named 48." This was before the U.S. had 50 states. Question: Where did Ed get all the other states from, Canada, other countries? Ralph says that Ed is a mental case.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. So he asks Ed is he can use his phone that is in the kitchen. Ed says that Trixie is dressing in there because there is no window shade in the bedroom. Ralph: "Could you call the people at the store and tell them that the number of jellybeans is 4,450." Ed: "4,000 what?" Ralph: "4,550." That is not a typo folks. Ralph once again got the number wrong. Question: Doesn't Ralph know that if Ed called with the right answer, that the people at the store will assume that Ed is the winner? Just a thought. Ed leaves.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. Alice says that she has had one dress in the last five years. Ralph says that she has had a blue, pink, brown, and a green dress. Alice: "Yup, this is it and I have run out of dye."

Ed comes back with the great news that Ralph has won the contest. Ed says that the first prize isn't $100. Ed says that it's a gift certificate meaning that if you buy a $1,000 worth of furniture at that store, you get a $100 worth free. Ralph: "What kind of prize is that? Ed: "It's not a total loss. You can stick this jar of jellybeans in the window and win your own contest." Question: How is that idea supposed to win Ralph money? Ed leaves.

Alice notices that the $10 that she was going to use for the dress is gone. (The dress was $10 on sale.) Ralph says that he bought the jellybeans with the money. Ralph says with the $100 that he was planning to win; one of the things he was going to buy her was a new Thanksgiving outfit. (This episode was shown just before Thanksgiving in 1952.) Ralph says he is sorry. Alice forgives him. Alice: "Ralph, I got you and that's plenty to be thankful for." Ralph: "You're the greatest."

Episode #26
TV: In 2019, Decades started showing this episode. It is attached it to "Lost Baby."
DVD: Attached to “Bread”, “Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “The New Bowling Ball”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Air Date: 9/27/52

"The Turkey":

A print of this episode surfaced to the world for the first time in ages on Ebay in 2009. It was released onto DVD in 2011. For obvious reasons, this episode doesn’t look like it was digitally remastered.

The script materical for this sketch is available for viewing at UCLA Library Special Collections. Box 109 Folder 19.

Ralph comes home and complains about that he doesn’t know how long he can go on driving a bus. He complains about people going in and out of the wrong doors. Alice says that she lost her wedding ring. Ralph is angry. Ralph says that they should be calm. He asks Alice to remember what she did all day. When she gets to the part about going to her mom’s, Ralph says that the case is solved. Ralph says that Alice helped her mom wash the dishes and as a result, lost the wedding ring when she put in the garbage accidentally and know the ring is somewhere off the coast of Canarsie.

Alice says that she distinctly remembers coming home and taking off the ring and putting it on the dresser. She looked everyplace else. Ralph goes to look for the ring and finds a turkey. Alice says that her club is having turkey raffle this afternoon. Mr. Howard won it and it is his turkey. It is a live turkey. Mr. Howard is going to come and get the turkey. Ralph thinks that the turkey swallowed the ring. Alice says that that is impossible. Ralph disagrees.

Ed comes down. Ralph explains that the turkey and ate her wedding ring. Ralph wants to kill the turkey to get the ring out. When Alice asks Ralph what is Mr. Howard going to do if he sees a dead turkey, Ed says that the turkey left the cage and committed suicide. Ha! Ralph gives Ed $20 to go get a live turkey. Somehow, I think a live turkey would cost more today. Ed leaves. Ralph asks Alice to kill the turkey because he doesn’t want to. Alice doesn’t want to. Ralph has an idea. He puts pepper on a piece of paper and tries to put the pepper near the turkey so the turkey will cough up the ring. (What?) Ralph puts the paper with the pepper near the turkey. Care to guess what happens next? If you guessed Ralph sneezing, you are right. Alice: “What happened?” Ralph: “He blew first.” Ralph says that that ring is a symbol of their love. Alice says that that Ralph is acting like a maniac.

Ed comes in with another live turkey. The turkey, much like the other one is a real one. Ed says that the turkey only costed $17. Wow! Mr. Howard comes in. Mr. Howard goes to get the turkey. Ralph doesn’t know which turkey is real one that Mr. Howard won. Ralph talks to Ed in “private.” He asks Ed which one is his. Ed: “Yours is the one with the ring in it.” Ralph: “How could I tell?” Ed: “Shake them.” How Mr. Howard can’t hear this is mind-blowing. Ralph tries to give Mr. Howard $5 so he can get a turkey. Ed chimes in and says that it costs $17. He gives him the $17 and leaves. Ralph says that Alice costs him $34 and blames Alice.

Trixie comes in to tell Ed that dinner is ready and to give Alice back her ring. She found it on the dresser and thought it wasn’t safe there. The Nortons leave. Ed: “Now you will never find out which one is yours.” Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. They hug and kiss.

Credit I believe goes to the old Bill 'Mooners Archive,,, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book,,, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot! &
Frank Gannucci is online now   Reply With Quote

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