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Old 12-01-2021, 10:47 PM   #256
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Old 12-10-2021, 07:51 PM   #257
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Old 12-14-2021, 11:34 PM   #258
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Old 12-19-2021, 11:58 PM   #259
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Eb: "Yeah, that's where the action is."
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Old 12-20-2021, 08:14 AM   #260
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TV Kiddie Show Host: Sure, I remember that kid, he had on the most realistic looking pig costume I've ever seen. He won first prize.
Oliver Douglas: No, you don't understand, Arnold is a real PIG.
TV Kiddie Show Host: I'll say he is! We had five gallons of ice cream for those kids, and he ate every bit of it himself.
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Old 12-20-2021, 11:34 PM   #261
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Old 12-24-2021, 07:36 AM   #262
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Sir Geoffrey:
[Conducting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra] Now please, let's try it: Brahm's Lullaby. [the band plays a crawling version of "There's a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight"] Stop, stop! Hold it, hold it! May I ask what you were playing?

Eustace Charleton Haney:
Well, what was you conductin'?

Sir Geoffrey:
Brahm's Lullaby.

Eustace Charleton Haney:
Then that's what we was playin.'

Sir Geoffrey:
That was not Brahm's Lullaby.

Oliver Douglas:
[to Sir Geoffrey] Well it's as close as you're gonna get to it.

Sir Geoffrey:
Look is there anyone here who can read music?

Ralph Monroe:
Oh, I can.

Sir Geoffrey:
Oh, well then my dear, would you mind humming it for the others?

Ralph Monroe:
[to the tune of Brahms' Lullaby] La-da-dah, la-da-dah, la-da-dah-dah, da-da-dah, la-da-dah, dah...

Sir Geoffrey:
Fine. Now, let's all hum it together.

Band members:
[to the tune of Brahms' Lullaby] La-da-dah, la-da-dah, la-da-dah-dah, da-da-dah...

Sir Geoffrey:
Capital, capital, capital! Now, let's all play that.

[the band plays "There's a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight" as Sir Geoffrey breaks down and cries]
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Old 12-29-2021, 07:12 PM   #263
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Oliver: "Sexy -- "
Lisa: "You know, where they don't have any plot, but you don't care because they hardly wear any clothes."

Oliver: "A do-it-yourself caviar kit?"

Oliver: "Crank!"
Eb: "You certainly are."

Eb: "The Fourth of July certainly came early this year."

Oliver: "Yes, I'm tired, But it's a good tiredness, an American tiredness."

Hank: "Ben Miller had a 20-story cornstalk!"

Oliver: "Oh, boy. Did I have a nightmare."
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Old 12-29-2021, 07:16 PM   #264
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Oliver's catchphrases:

"Oh, for the love of..."

"Of all the..."

"Oh, you dirty..."
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Old 12-29-2021, 07:17 PM   #265
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Eb's catchphrase: "Golllllly."
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Old 12-29-2021, 08:08 PM   #266
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Eb: (to Oliver)"Leave it to you to spoil a perfectly good evening!"
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Old 01-03-2022, 07:33 PM   #267
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Hank: (to Oliver)"Would you be interested in a goat that speaks perfect Armenian?"
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Old 01-06-2022, 11:42 PM   #268
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Old 01-16-2022, 10:30 PM   #269
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Old 01-17-2022, 12:09 AM   #270
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Oliver: "That Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was really prolific."
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