Quotes/Scenes That Are The Best of Zack

[Chain Gang Member]

?
Zack: I'm leaving and going to the Regal Beagle.
Terri:No you're not.you're sick and need to stay home.Jack's not home which means you can use his bed to lay down in.So I'm going help you out and we're going to go to bed.
Zack: We?

[Chain Gang Member]

?
Larry:I just woke up to the most disturbing thing.
Zack: I thought my former boss was weird to have a mirror above his bed

[Chain Gang Member]

Like Father,Like Son
Jack:He used to come to my baseball games.
Janet:What's wrong with that?
Jack:He caught the fly ball for me.
Zack: That's not as bad as what he for me since it caused things to get weird and your parents almost got divorced.
Jack:What do you mean?
Zack: Do you remember when he invited himself to stay at my new place when I got myself emancipated?
Jack:Yes?
Zack: Well the first time I brought a girl there,he came in and interrupted us
Janet:That must've been embarrassing.
Zack: Then it got worse.
Terri:How?
Zack:He knew it was my first time and he threw himself at my girlfriend to show me how.
Jack:He did what?!
Zack:Yeah.He went to jail and I went to therapy

[Chain Gang Member]

Zack Don't Know Jack
on the telephone
Chrissy:Hello?
Zack:Hey Chrissy.
Chrissy:Zack I thought I told you never to call me again.
Zack:No.You told me never to come back to Fresno again.
Chrissy:It doesn't matter after what we did.
Zack:Chrissy for last time,what happened between us that night didn't kill your mom.
Chrissy:How do you know that?I was supposed to wait until I got married
Zack:And I was planning on marrying you.
Chrissy:Well you still can't come back because I don't want you to get hurt.
Zack:Chrissy you're hurting me already.
Chrissy:I mean dad really wants to kill you
Zack: Oh
Chrissy:If you really love me,you will just move on.
Zack:Fine.I'll always love you.
Chrissy:And I feel the same way about.(hangs up the phone)
Zack:

[Chain Gang Member]

Lies My Roommate Told Me
Zack:Hey guys.What's new?
Jack:Larry's got a date with Terri.
Larry:And Jack is going to help me not make a fool out of myself.
Zack:Shouldn't you want my help?
Larry:No offense Zack,but you've only been with one woman.
Zack:Two women.
Larry:Even so,you don't have as much experience with women.Sorry Zack,but I think that Jack is a better choice to help me out.
Zack:Well don't come crying to me for help if you say something that pushes Terri over the edge and the bed you end up in tonight is a hospital bed.
.....................................................................................................
Cindy:What's going on?
Larry:Terri & I are out on our first date.
Terri:And our last(leaves)
Zack:So you went with Jack being your wingman and it backfired?What a shocker.You two are always going out with all of these women who would go out with anyone while the girls I've been with were pure until we got together.Yeah you really chose the right Tripper.
Larry:You mean if I listened to you,I could've....
Zack:Well you'll never know now will you?

[Chain Gang Member]

Larry's Sister
Larry:Guys I would love for you to meet my sister Diane.
Zack:She's your sister?
Larry:Yeah.Why?
Zack:It's hard to believe that since you're so eww and she's so wow.
Larry:You're not going anywhere with my sister Zack.
Zack:And you chose the right guy to show her around town.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zack:What's going on?
Janet:Larry came down to apologize.
Zack:Fine.I accept your apology for not letting me be your gorgeous sister's date.
Larry:I wasn't down here for you and you better stop talking about you're attracted to my sister.
Zack:Or you'll do what?
Larry:I'll.....continue to be disappointed in you for being interested in my sister.Shame on you Zack.
Zack: Oh I'm shaking.
------------------------------------------------------------
Diane:Thanks everyone for letting me stay here.
Terri:It was no problem.
Diane: Oh and Zack.I'll find a way for us to keep in touch(kisses him and leaves)
Larry:What did you do?
Zack:Nothing....yet.
Larry:I'll kill you!(punches him in the face)Oww!
Zack:Oh no.That hurt

[Chain Gang Member]

Star Struck
Zack:Hey guys.What are you doing?
Jack:Waiting for Terri to get home.
Janet:She's on a date with Bret Wade
Zack:Well I hope she's having a good time.I need a bandage because holding a paper towel up to my neck is getting tough(goes into the bathroom only to make a crashing sound and come out angry)BRET WADE?!You let Terri go with BRET WADE?!
Janet:Yeah.What's wrong with that?
Zack:He's the devil in disguise,the master of manipulation,and the reason my friend who used to date him went from a sweet girl to crazy and now attacks & bites people who care about her.
Jack:I knew he was bad news.
Janet:Zack that won't happen to Terri.
Zack:Well only blame yourself if Terri ends up jumping on me and biting my neck......which is strange how I'm complaining about the thought of that

[Chain Gang Member]

Larry's Sister
(after Jack & Larry made up)
Janet:Well it's seems like we have nothing to worry about.
Terri:Wait.Where's Zack?
Jack:Larry didn't you say that Diane locked you out of your apartment?
Larry:I'll kill him.(opens the door as Zack & Diane show up)Zaaa I mean what are you doing here with my sister here?
Zack:I convinced Diane make things right between you 2.
Larry:Really?
Diane:Yeah.
Zack:And believe me.It took a lot of convincing to get her to come down here.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zack:(to Diane)I'll help you with your bags
Diane:How sweet of you.(they leave downstairs)
Jack:What a sweet little child(goes in his room)
Janet:She learned so much from Jack on a Grunion run?
Terri:It must because they get slippery in your arms
Janet:And Zack really helped her as well.
Terri:Yeah.Taking all of that time to talk to her and make things right between her & Larry.
Janet:All of that help from two good looking guys
Terri: One on the beach
Janet:In the middle of the night
Terri: ON A BLANKET?!
Janet:And the other all alone
Terri:IN LARRY'S APARTMENT?!
Janet:Jack!
Terri:Zack!
Janet&Terri:We want to talk to you!(going in different directions)
Zack:I didn't anything wrong!

[Chain Gang Member]

Star Struck
Bret:That was the old me Zack.I've changed.You can count on me being a loyal husband to Terri.
Zack:If Jack does have proof that will show Terri the monster that you really are,YOU can count on ME waiting for you in the parking lot!

[Chain Gang Member]

Larry's Sister
Larry:What could they be doing?
Janet:Jack will treat Dianne like he does with his other dates.
Larry:I'll kill him.
Zack:Why?It would your fault if anything does happen
Larry:What?
Zack:Well there's a chance nothing will happen because Dianne is your sister and your Jack's best friend.With him dating so many women,I'm sure he'll have other women on his mind that being with his best friend's sister is the last thing he'd do.
Larry:You're right.I have nothing to worry about.
Zack: On the other hand with Dianne being a beautiful woman and you being....you,it'd be hard for Jack to realize that he's with your sister and want to be all over this gorgeous girl.
Larry:I'll kill him.
Zack:And he'd die happy.

[luvzjohn101]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

Larry's Sister
Larry:What could they be doing?
Janet:Jack will treat Dianne like he does with his other dates.
Larry:I'll kill him.
Zack:Why?It would your fault if anything does happen
Larry:What?
Zack:Well there's a chance nothing will happen because Dianne is your sister and your Jack's best friend.With him dating so many women,I'm sure he'll have other women on his mind that being with his best friend's sister is the last thing he'd do.
Larry:You're right.I have nothing to worry about.
Zack: On the other hand with Dianne being a beautiful woman and you being....you,it'd be hard for Jack to realize that he's with your sister and want to be all over this gorgeous girl.
Larry:I'll kill him.
Zack:And he'd die happy.

I haven't been on here in a long time and am so happy you added more Zack quotes. Zack is way funnier than Jack and Larry combined.

[Chain Gang Member]

?
Terri:Zack you've been lying around depressed all day.
Zack:I have no reason to go anywhere today.
Jack:You need to get up instead of looking like a bum.
Zack:I just need a great inspiration.
Cindy: (comes in hitting Jack with the door)Hi everybody!
Zack:There's my inspiration!

[luvzjohn101]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

?
Terri:Zack you've been lying around depressed all day.
Zack:I have no reason to go anywhere today.
Jack:You need to get up instead of looking like a bum.
Zack:I just need a great inspiration.
Cindy: (comes in hitting Jack with the door)Hi everybody!
Zack:There's my inspiration!

Jack: That's what I'm here for.
Zack:

[Chain Gang Member]

?
Terri:Zack did you know with my new promotion,I have as much power as you do?
Zack:No kidding.
Terri:Just remember I have some ideas of my own to help the hospital.So remember that you may be the top person in this part,but at times I would like to be the one who is on top of you.
Zack:That can be arranged

[luvzjohn101]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

?
Terri:Zack did you know with my new promotion,I have as much power as you do?
Zack:No kidding.
Terri:Just remember I have some ideas of my own to help the hospital.So remember that you may be the top person in this part,but at times I would like to be the one who is on top of you.
Zack:That can be arranged

Terri: