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Old 06-20-2012, 11:03 AM   #91
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There once was a girl in Peru
Who had nothing better to do
She would get high on some drugs
Go out and catch bugs
Then join them together with glue.
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Old 06-20-2012, 04:38 PM   #92
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A man once played for the Packers
The ultimate in linebackers
But drugs and poor health
Took it's toll on his wealth
Now he sits in a park eating crackers.
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Old 06-20-2012, 06:09 PM   #93
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An outlaw was robbing a stage
The driver, who was up there in age
Said, be careful son
Don't hurt me none
I only earn minimum wage.
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Old 06-20-2012, 10:54 PM   #94
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'Twas a good day for a barbecue
The flies showed up,with their kinfolk too
Some brought their dates
With little paper plates
Telling me, " Hold the onions,they're too hard to chew "
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Old 06-22-2012, 12:21 AM   #95
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There once was a fellow named Dwight
Who could run like the speed of light
When running a race
All would give chase
But soon he was out of sight.
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Old 06-22-2012, 04:00 AM   #96
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A woman had wanted a freezer
Her old one just didn't please her
It would run for an hour
Then lose all it's power
And come on again just to tease her.
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Old 06-22-2012, 04:04 AM   #97
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A woman had looked in a mirror
She noticed that as she got nearer
Her face was a blur
And that bothered her
So she backed up until it got clearer.
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Old 06-22-2012, 04:06 AM   #98
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There once was a man in Atlanta
Who told all the kids he was Santa
They all asked for toys
All the girls and boys
Except one who asked for Mylanta.
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Old 06-22-2012, 05:17 AM   #99
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While brushing his teeth one night
A man had a terrible sight
A tooth on the top
Was ready to drop
So he hammered back in tight.
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Old 06-22-2012, 05:19 AM   #100
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There once was a woman named Kate
Who didn't want people to wait
She was always on time
Until she fell from a climb
Now she will always be late.
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Old 06-22-2012, 05:22 AM   #101
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There once was a mouse named Jack
Who lived in a trick or treat sack
On Halloween night
He had plenty to bite
And sampled every snack.
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Old 06-24-2012, 04:22 AM   #102
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A birthday party had just ended
The guests who had left,were offended
The cake had a price
A dollar a slice
Which didn't taste very splended.
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Old 06-24-2012, 04:24 AM   #103
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Two cats were about to fight
Over a mouse they caught that night
While they argued their claim
A snake took their game
And swallowed it all in one bite.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:10 AM   #104
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A woman was riding a bike
Her tire ran over a spike
Her tire went " Pop "
She came to a stop
Now the woman is taking a hike.
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Old 06-27-2012, 01:06 PM   #105
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A man choked on a bottle of beer
So inside he decided to peer
There were bugs in there
Bugs everywhere
" And now in my belly I fear "
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