Sitcoms Online - Main Page / Message Boards - Main Page / News Blog / Photo Galleries / DVD Reviews / Buy TV Shows on DVD and Blu-ray

View Today's Active Threads / View New Posts / Mark All Boards Read / Chit Chat Board

Last Man Standing links at Sitcoms Online / Last Man Standing Photo Gallery


Last Man Standing - The Complete First Season

Buy Last Man Standing - The Complete First Season on DVD
Last Man Standing - The Complete Second Season

Buy Last Man Standing - The Complete Second Season on DVD

Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums  

Go Back   Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums > Current Sitcoms > Last Man Standing

Notices

SitcomsOnline.com News Blog Headlines Twitter Facebook Instagram RSS

Fri-Yay: Primetime Emmy Predictions for Comedy; Paramount Heads to Paris for New Comedy
Pop TV Renews Schitt's Creek for Sixth and Final Season, Fifth Season Marathon to Air on Sept. 21; HBO Max Revives The Boondocks
NBC Streaming Service Peacock Sets Reboots of Saved by the Bell & Punky Brewster; The Big Bang Theory Coming to HBO Max, While TBS Renews Through 2028
ABC Sets Reunions of Cheers, The Drew Carey Show, Girlfriends, Charmed, Castle and More; NBC Renews Titan Games for Season 2
Nick Slates Are You Afraid of the Dark? Premiere; Spectrum Originals Drama Goes Back Into Production for Season 2 in 2020
Sitcom Stars on Talk Shows; This Week in Sitcoms (Week of September 16, 2019)
SitcomsOnline Digest: Party of Five Reboot Coming in January; Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey to Reunite for Office Ladies Podcast


New on DVD/Blu-ray (July/August/September)

Life in Pieces - The Complete Fourth Season The Good Place - The Complete Third Season Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Season Six Young Sheldon - The Complete Second Season Modern Family - The Complete Tenth Season

07/08 - Man with a Plan - Season Two
07/09 - Broad City - Season 5
07/09 - Broad City - The Complete Series
07/09 - Life in Pieces - The Complete Fourth Season
07/09 - Speechless - The Complete Third Season
07/16 - Eight Is Enough - The Complete First Season
07/17 - The Practice (1976) - The Complete Series (WBShop.com)
07/23 - Brockmire - The Complete First Season
07/23 - What I Like About You - The Complete First Season
07/30 - The Good Place - The Complete Third Season
08/06 - Caroline in the City - The Third Season
08/06 - Caroline in the City - The Fourth Season
08/13 - I Love Lucy - Colorized Collection
08/13 - Leave it to Beaver - Seasons One and Two
08/20 - Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Season Six
08/27 - Baskets - The Complete Season Four
08/27 - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The Complete Thirteenth Season
09/03 - Bob's Burgers - The Complete 9th Season
09/03 - Fresh Off the Boat - The Complete Fifth Season
09/03 - The Goldbergs - The Complete Sixth Season
09/03 - Single Parents - The Complete Season One
09/03 - Young Sheldon - The Complete Second Season
09/04 - What We Do in the Shadows - The Complete First Season
09/10 - American Dad! - Volume 14
09/10 - The Jetsons - The Complete Original Series (Blu-ray) (WBShop.com)
09/11 - My Three Sons - The Fourth Season - Volume One
09/11 - My Three Sons - The Fourth Season - Volume Two
09/17 - Friends - The Complete Series (25th Anniversary)
09/17 - Modern Family - The Complete Tenth Season
More TV DVD Releases / DVD Reviews Archive / SitcomsOnline Digest


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-20-2018, 07:51 AM   #1
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default Last Man Standing Quotes and Lines

Vanessa Baxter: Uh, Eve, what happened to your lip?
Eve Baxter: Oh, uh, I got into a little scrap with Richie Hayden.
Vanessa Baxter: What?
Eve Baxter: Yeah, um, I know as a joke people like to say how you should see the other guy, but seriously, you should see the other guy.

[first lines]
Eve Baxter: Morning, Baxters.
Mike Baxter: Morning.
Vanessa Baxter: Hey, honey, how'd you sleep?
Eve Baxter: Sleep? Who could sleep with this crushing national debt hanging over our heads?
Vanessa Baxter: Wow! It's so you're just becoming the same person.
Mike Baxter: Great, isn't it?
__________________
I love all three boys from Home Improvement.

And many other guys too.

Netflix, please add Home Improvement

Goodnight, sweet prince. Harry Anderson 1952-2018

Errrrrrruuuuuuuuahhh?? - Tim Allen
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2018, 08:17 PM   #2
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

Kristin Baxter: Hey. Low speed limits and stop signs make streets safer.

Mike Baxter: I know. If we all went zero miles per hour, there'd be zero accidents. GDP would be zero, but we'd have zero accidents.

Vanessa Baxter: So the DPD is hurting the GDP? Try saying *that* ten times fast.
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2018, 05:43 PM   #3
AB
Supernatural - Dean
Forum Celebrity
 
AB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 26, 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 45,142
Default

(Mandy wearing a tight red dress & high heels)
Mike: "Wow! Whoa!"
Vanessa: "Hey, hey. Where are you goin' dressed like that?"
Mandy: "Oh, I have a paper due and I didn't quite write it."
Mike: "So why... why are you dressed like *that*?"
Mandy: "I need the professor to give me an extension or, if he *really* likes the dress, an A."
AB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2018, 07:11 PM   #4
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

Vanessa Baxter: You know what, honey, Hillary Clinton was a Goldwater girl in 1964.

Mike Baxter: So. Satan used to work for God. What's your point?
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2018, 02:36 PM   #5
AB
Supernatural - Dean
Forum Celebrity
 
AB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 26, 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 45,142
Default

Mike: "Hey Kyle, do you have a Man Cave?"
Kyle: "My van. One place where people aren't all up in my business. You have no idea how tiring it is. Kyle, do this. Kyle, do that. Kyle, for God's sake, get your act together."
Mike: "I don't do that."
Kyle: "Your daughter does."
AB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2018, 02:38 PM   #6
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

Mike Baxter: This is really about Eve. You know, she reposts some of these vlogs at school, and it looks like she's getting in trouble.

Ed Alzate: I know. I follow her on Facebook.

[Mike reacts with a quizzical look]

Ed Alzate: The kids have been pretty hard on her, especially Mandy.
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2018, 10:45 PM   #7
JO Sweet Heart
Member
Senior Member
 
JO Sweet Heart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 11, 2012
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 3,601
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikaelaArsenault View Post
Vanessa Baxter: You know what, honey, Hillary Clinton was a Goldwater girl in 1964.

Mike Baxter: So. Satan used to work for God. What's your point?
I love this one.

God bless you always!!!

Holly
__________________
Go here to check out my most favorite singer, James Otto, when you can!
JO Sweet Heart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2018, 07:20 AM   #8
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

Vanessa Baxter: That cop pulled me over today and gave me a ticket.

Mike Baxter: I told ya to stay off Cedar, babe.

Vanessa Baxter: No, he's movin' around. He was on Hudson, today.

Mike Baxter: Hudson? That's under construction. Double the fine. Smart cop.

Vanessa Baxter: Oh, I don't care about the fine...

Mike Baxter: *I* care about the fine.

Vanessa Baxter: It's just... I've always been able to... you know...

[tosses her hair]

Mike Baxter: Come on, honey, with your knockers, you go with the *hair*?
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 05:19 PM   #9
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

Mike Baxter: Have we met before?
Helen Potts: You do look vaguely familiar.
Mike Baxter: Yeah. Is this your, uh, tile saw? It's a nice one.
Helen Potts: You like tools?
Mike Baxter: Not as much as I used to. So, other than making a lot of noise, what are you what are you doing out here?
Helen Potts: Ugh, I got a million things to fix around the house. My idiot husband thought he was quite the handyman, but mostly, he just set stuff on fire, blew things up, and complained about my cooking.
Mike Baxter: Sounds like a fun Tuesday night.
Helen Potts: You should try putting up with him for eight years. Eight long years.
Mike Baxter: The thing is, this saw is making a lot of noise, and it's bothering the dog next door, who's barking and keeping everybody awake. Is there a way you could just start the sawing a little later in the morning?
Helen Potts: Sorry, I do my best work in the morning.
Mike Baxter: I used to get my best sleep in the morning.
Chuck Larabee: [peeking over fence] Hi-dee-ho there, Baxter.
Mike Baxter: Hey, Larabee.
Chuck Larabee: Doesn't sound like you're doing much better with Helen than I did. I told you she was a tough one.
Mike Baxter: Yeah. Do you have something else on besides that hat?
Chuck Larabee: Maybe it's time for a different approach. You know, Mike, this reminds me of the ancient Aztecs. Whenever they had trouble with a neighboring tribe, very often...
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2019, 06:43 PM   #10
Ohio8
Member
Forum Veteran
 
Ohio8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 29, 2003
Location: Wherever you aren't.
Posts: 11,393
Send a message via AIM to Ohio8 Send a message via Yahoo to Ohio8
Default

Mike: "Why can't every day be Thanksgiving?"
__________________
"Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd
Ohio8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2019, 06:39 AM   #11
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

She didn't have to do her homework inside a car outside a Jolly Jack's.

- Mike
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2019, 11:23 PM   #12
Ohio8
Member
Forum Veteran
 
Ohio8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 29, 2003
Location: Wherever you aren't.
Posts: 11,393
Send a message via AIM to Ohio8 Send a message via Yahoo to Ohio8
Default

Mike: "Said every child ever!"
Ohio8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2019, 06:21 AM   #13
MA
Once Upon A Christmas
Moderator
Forum Legend
 
MA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 20, 2017
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 56,517
Default

Let's be honest, if nobody's talking, then nobody's listening. If nobody's listening, nobody's learning.
— Mike Baxter
MA is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:04 AM.


Although the administrators and moderators of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards, nor vBulletin Solutions Inc. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message. The owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.