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Old 04-07-2014, 06:38 PM   #46
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Caroline: "I've see Annie naked!"

Richard: "Who hasn't?"
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Old 04-07-2014, 06:51 PM   #47
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Annie: "She just got dumped by Trevor and you're 8 minutes out of a marriage."

Richard: "Don't pretend this is about protecting Caroline, it's about you and me."

Charlie: "That's right, you two love each other, admit it. Am I the only one who watches Mexican television?"
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Old 04-22-2014, 03:55 PM   #48
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Richard -"Excuse me, what do you people think I do on my birthday?"

Caroline -"I don't know. I just assumed you curled up with a handful of dirt from your homeland and waited 'til dawn."

Richard - "Nope that's New Years."
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:12 PM   #49
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(After being arrested for releasing animals from their cages)

Joe - "I know this place where they have incredible clam chowder. Boston."

Caroline - "But the judge said we weren't supposed to leave the state."
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:15 PM   #50
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Richard - "There's nobody here."

Dougie - "They probably came in to steal the napkins. I hate that! I hate that!
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Old 03-16-2015, 03:41 PM   #51
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Richard - "My fortune cookie was empty. Which, by the way, is the title of my autobiography."
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Old 03-16-2015, 10:27 PM   #52
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annie to julia - wow you married richard? you are gorgeous... in a cheap sort of way

julia - ... when you're in italy, you're always late, capiche
annie - hey, i'm italian and i'm always on time
julia - really? i don't recall where new jersey lies in the boot of italy
annie - let me get a boot, i'll show ya

annie - how many hefty bags did you kill to get that shirt?
richard - not as many as the ones stuffed in your bra

Last edited by waichingliu81; 03-17-2015 at 11:11 PM.
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Old 03-17-2015, 05:09 PM   #53
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^ lol! ^

Del - "What do you mean? You're going to give up $200 just because you're a little embarrassed? I'd walk down the street naked for $200."

Caroline - "You'd do it for $15, we already determined that last Halloween."
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Old 09-17-2016, 06:50 PM   #54
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More quotes from Richard and Dougie:
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Old 03-08-2017, 06:47 PM   #55
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A Caroline & Richard quote:
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Old 03-08-2017, 06:47 PM   #56
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A Vicki & Caroline quote:
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Old 05-23-2019, 05:58 PM   #57
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Del: "Teach me some basic Jewish small talk! Who's the guy on the roof?"

Richard: "Me, in about 10 minutes if you don't leave me alone!"
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Old 05-23-2019, 06:06 PM   #58
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Caroline:
And for my next trick I'm going to make my boyfriend disappear. I say the magic words. Opera.
__________________
I love all three boys from Home Improvement.

And many other guys too.

Netflix, please add Home Improvement

Goodnight, sweet prince. Harry Anderson 1952-2018

Errrrrrruuuuuuuuahhh?? - Tim Allen
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Old 05-24-2019, 03:31 PM   #59
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Jimmy, auditioning for Cats.
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Old 05-27-2019, 07:26 AM   #60
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Caroline:
[doorbell] I'll get it.

Richard:
I'll get it.

Caroline:
No, I'll get it.

Richard:
I said I'll get it.

Caroline:
Fine, then you get it.

Richard:
You wanna get it so bad, then you get it.
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