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The Andy Griffith Show - The Complete First Season

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The Andy Griffith Show - The Complete Series

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Old 11-03-2018, 02:20 PM   #16
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Goober Pyle: I can't do William Holden, but I can do Cary Grant. Judy, Judy, Judy.
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Old 11-03-2018, 07:04 PM   #17
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Andy Taylor: [on the phone] If you don't want magazine subscriptions or your septic tank pumped out, there's a sign you can get that says no peddlers or agents.

[pause]

Andy Taylor: Well, sure that applies to septic tank pumpers... sure. Now take down those disease signs, Nelvin.
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~Mikaela~
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Old 11-03-2018, 09:53 PM   #18
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Otis Campbell: Every man needs a hobby.
Barney Fife: But, Otis; you ain't got a hobby!
Otis Campbell: I do have a hobby; drinkin'!
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Old 11-07-2018, 10:57 PM   #19
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Briscoe: "You got time to breath, you got time for music."

Andy: "If you ask me, this Ernest T. Bass is a strange and weird character."
Briscoe: "Juuuust plaaain ornery is what he is."
Barney: "I think he's a nut."
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"Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd
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Old 11-08-2018, 06:38 AM   #20
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Barney Fife: [through a megaphone while directing the cave rescue] Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor! Repeat! Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor!
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Old 11-08-2018, 07:08 PM   #21
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Barney Fife: Now, I’m gonna test your reactions and your reflexes.
Otis Campbell: This jail’s gettin’ to be as bad as home.
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Old 11-08-2018, 07:15 PM   #22
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Barney Fife: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the man with the hex.
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Old 11-09-2018, 07:05 PM   #23
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Andy: "You beat everything, you know that?!"
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Old 11-12-2018, 07:55 AM   #24
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Emma Brand: To think I voted for you last election; never even considered nobody else! BAD, BAD SHERIFF! (upon her frustration of Andy refusing to help her get her pills)
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Old 11-13-2018, 07:31 PM   #25
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Helen Crump:
[in front of the 5th grade class] Mr. Bass, return to your seat!

Ernest T. Bass:
Okay. Can I tell you somethin' before I do?

Helen Crump:
What is it?

Ernest T. Bass:
I *love* you.
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Old 11-14-2018, 11:57 PM   #26
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Ernest T. Bass: "How do you do Missus Wi-lley?"
"CREE-TCHUR? WHO YOU CALLIN' A CREE-TCHUR?"
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the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
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Old 11-15-2018, 06:33 AM   #27
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Ernest T. Bass: If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill.
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Old 11-15-2018, 06:03 PM   #28
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Barney Fife: What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a man take off a dress before?
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Old 11-15-2018, 07:28 PM   #29
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Andy Taylor: Now Barney here is a perfect example of a man about town. On the outside he's a tough weather beaten lawman. But on the inside he's a civilized, well sophisticated gentleman.
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Old 11-17-2018, 04:35 PM   #30
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Sam Lindsey: There he is. There's the weak-kneed, chicken-livered, yella-streak turncoat.

Barney Fife: Now look, Sam. You got something to say, say it.
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