Favorite Funny Quotes from 2 Broke Girls

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Post your favorite funny quotes/dialogue from 2 Broke Girls.


Max to Han - "I've been waiting my whole life, I've waited on tables. I've waited at bars. I've waited on home pregnancy tests."

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Caroline - "Sometimes you do something you're not comfortable with. It's how you grow."

Max -"No, it's how you get a ride home from a kegger in the woods."

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Sophie - "There's only one party worse than this one. The Donner party.....and they had better food."

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Max: "You can't give hipsters a microphone. That's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire."

Han: "Hipster's like karaoke."

Max: "Replace the word "like" with "Hitler" and you've got the three worse things in history."

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(Max to Caroline)

Max: "Scaring people into participating isn't success, it's Scientology."

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(Max to Caroline)

Max : "This can't be about my drinking. I don't have the money to be a real alcoholic."

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Earl: "Hello Sophie, if you looked any sweeter, you'd fire up my diabetes."

Sophie: "Oh Earl, you wouldn't be the first man to lose a limb over me."

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Han - Girl at Urban Outfitters said I looked hip.

Max - You look like a lesbian I made out with once on a dare.

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A knock on the door.

Caroline - Who is it?

Sophie - Kim Kardashian, ha ha, No, I'm not Kim Kardashian...No I work for a living.

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Caroline - You need to react when people cry.

Max - I did, I rolled my eyes.

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Max on cell phones

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Caroline on push-up bras

[jtmovies91]

Aunt Charity I was the family priness then you came along and took my boom boom boom
and 2 guys with wood Caroline "Whoa I never given wood and saw wood at the same time"

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Max talking about a stray cat they dropped off in a wealthy neighborhood

Max - "He's probably on the couch right now with a tale of two kitties."

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Max talking about the stray cat.

Max - Where's her ID tag, even my mother had an ID tag on me. Well it was a flea collar.