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Old 05-22-2020, 07:33 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
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Default A Honeymooners Memorial Day:

(Ralph & Ed are at the Raccoon Lodge meeting along with other Raccoons.)

Head Raccoon: "Gentlemen, the traditional Raccoon salute."

(All of them get up.)

All (raising the tail of their Raccoon caps, yell): "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(They all sit down.)

Head Raccoon: "Gentlemen, as you know, the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler is a war veteran. In honor of Memorial Day, we are going to paint this whole room red, white and blue. Who are the volunteers?"

(Ralph gets up.)

Ralph: "I volunteer and so does my pal Norton."

Ed: "Hey, nice for you to volunteer my services Ralph."

Ralph: "Me and Norton will get the paint. We will also buy the ladders and we will paint this place so great, you would think you are at the White House."

Ed: "Hey, this might be as much fun as me and the rest of the sewerworkers tried to paint the inside of the Park Avenue sewers. Only thing is the paint fell into the high tide."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "All in favor."

All (yell): "AYE!"

Ralph: "That settles it. I will get the paint brushes while Ed gets the ladders and the paints."

(The following day, they arrive with the ladders and the paints. Ed is carrying all the items.)

Ralph: "All right Norton. Drop everything."

(He drops everything on Ralph's foot.)

Ralph (doing hsi in pain bit, yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWW! OWWWWWWWWWW! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Ed: "Did I hurt your foot Ralph?"

Ralph: "Of course not. How could you hurt my foot by having the items fall on it?..." (yells): "YES, YOU DID YOU STUPE."

Ed: "Sorry. Hey, this may be as much fun as the time you and I painted the pool rooms and bowling alleys and you accidentally spilled two kegs of paint from the ladder all over customers at both places. Remember when all the paint landed on Harvey because of you? Or how about the time you accidentally spilled paint all over the pool tables?"

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!"

Ed: "We would have gotten here sooner if it not been for you accidentally damaging the windows of the bus that we took with the ladders in tow as well as accidentally smacking people as well with the ladder as well as accidentally damaging the windows of the the subway when we got kicked off the bus."

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT NORTON!"

Ed: "Let's set up the ladders."

(Ed sets up his ladder. Ralph sets up his.)

Ed: "Do you think that that ladder is strong enough?"

Ralph: "So, you say that I am too fat and too heavy to climb up this ladder. Why don't you say it?"

Ed: "You just did."

(Ralph climbs the ladder and off-camera falls.)

Ralph (yells): "DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(They start painting. They are doing a pretty bad job.)

(The Head Raccoon along with other Raccoons look on.)

Ralph (yells): "OKAY NORTON! ONE MORE CRACK OUT OF YOU AND YOU WILL GET YOURS. YOU HAVE ANNOYED ME ALL DAY."

Man: "I wonder how long it will take for them to explode."

(Ed accidentally spills two kegs of paint all over Ralph. Ralph is completly covered in paint.)

Ralph (yells): "OKAY NORTON! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!"

Head Raccoon: "About two seconds."

(They try to break them up.)

Head Raccoon (yells): "CALM DOWN YOU TWO!"

Ralph (yells): "YOU ASKED FOR IT NORTON!"

(Ralph tries to douse a clean Ed with a keg of paint only for him to get the Head Raccoon. Ed laughs. Ralph gets thrown out of the Raccoons.)

Ralph (leaving, yells): "ONE OF THESE DAYS NORTON, YOU WILL GET YOURS."

(Jackie who is still covered in paint walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach Memorial Days are the BEST! HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)
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Old 05-22-2020, 11:50 AM   #2
cloggedmind
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Default

Hahaha! That's a good one! I wish they had made this one.
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Old 05-22-2020, 12:26 PM   #3
Frank Gannucci
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Thanks a lot.
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