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M*A*S*H - Season 6

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M*A*S*H - Season 7

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M*A*S*H - Season 8

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M*A*S*H - The Complete Series - Martinis and Medicine Collection

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Old 11-25-2017, 09:29 PM   #76
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General Steele: "Not now, Marjorie, I'm inspecting the troops."
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Old 12-13-2017, 08:23 PM   #77
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P.A. Announcer: "...incoming wounded. Drop your flasks and grab your masks!"

Hawkeye: "You look like an ad for death."

P.A. System: "With a cast of several."
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Old 12-20-2017, 05:13 PM   #78
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Hawkeye: "If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy."
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Old 01-13-2018, 02:43 PM   #79
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Hawkeye: "I'll see that he gets the kiddy scalpel. The one with the rubber blade."

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Old 01-24-2018, 08:26 PM   #80
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Klinger: "Heyy! I'm from Toledo. Half my letters come from death row."
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Old 02-18-2018, 03:04 PM   #81
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Henry: "Boy, I'd sure love to send my hips out for a walk."

Hot Lips: "Colonel, I protest this attack on Major Burns' character in his absence."
Hawkeye: "Actually we're protesting his absence of character."

Hawkeye: "We can't dig people up just for that."

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Old 02-26-2018, 06:14 PM   #82
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Finance officer: "You'd be surprised, the number of people who want to stick it to Uncle Sam."

Hawkeye: (as Tuttle)"My father invented bill padding."

Hawkeye: "Good luck, Doctor...In that great big waiting room in the sky."

Henry: "He was the best damn O.D. we ever had."
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Old 04-15-2018, 04:23 PM   #83
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Hawkeye: "Henry would've loved this."
B.J.: "Fair man with a bottle, you say?"
Hawkeye: "Henry? He could've been a comparison drinker."

Klinger: "And I'm regular crazy."

Klinger: (saluting) "Colonel Potter, sir. Corporal Klinger. I'm Section 8, head to toe....I'm nuts! I should be out."
Potter: (salutes) "Horse hockey."

Hawkeye: "This way to the body and fender shop."

Potter: "Klinger...nice outfit."
Klinger: "Thank you, sir, it's from the Shirley Temple collection."
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Old 04-15-2018, 04:26 PM   #84
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Potter: "Major Frank Burns."
Hot Lips: "Just friends, sir."

Potter: "Captain Pierce."
Hawkeye: "Yo."

Potter: "I take it you drink."
Hawkeye: "Only to excess."
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Old 04-15-2018, 11:49 PM   #85
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Hot Lips: "JUST A MOMENT!! ISN'T THAT FRANKS BAG?"
Trapper: "I thought you were franks bag!"

Charles: "Where's your friend Pierce?"
B.J.: "It's Thursday"
Charles: "So"
B.J.: "The nurses hang their underwear on the line. He takes a sandwich and makes a day of it."


And the one EVERYBODY agrees on:
Radar: "I have a message...Lt. Col....Henry Blakes plane...was shot down...over The Sea of Japan...it spun in...there were no survivors."
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the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
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Old 04-17-2018, 10:34 PM   #86
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Frank: "You're out of uniform!"
Hawkeye: "I am not; I'm with Fred Waring."
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Old 04-17-2018, 11:57 PM   #87
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Frank: "WHERE'D YOU GET THAT WOOD SOLDIER?"
Igor: "Uh..my sister sent it to me sir!"
Frank: "Oh, ok" (turns and walks away)
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Old 05-09-2018, 04:07 PM   #88
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Frank: "45 dollars."
B.J.: "Sold."
Hawkeye: "Are alterations included?"
Frank: "Ah, go practice your putts."
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Old 05-10-2018, 01:25 AM   #89
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Charles: "Nudist magazines. Underwear watching. Why this constant pre-occupation with sex?"
B.J.: "Lack of occupation with sex."
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Old 05-10-2018, 06:14 AM   #90
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Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way.

~Colonel Potter
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