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Old 10-03-2016, 02:57 AM   #31
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Frank Burns: I know I'm a real asset.
Hawkeye Pierce: You're only off by two letters.

Ed.
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Old 10-03-2016, 03:56 AM   #32
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Clete Roberts: "Is there anybody back home you'd like to say hello to?"

Frank: "Oh no-I know how everybody feels about me."
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the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
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Old 11-10-2016, 08:45 PM   #33
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Gen. Barker: "Doesn't anybody in this outfit ever go to sleep?"
Radar: "Only on duty, sir."
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Old 11-25-2016, 06:37 PM   #34
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After Hawkeye turns in the underage soldier, the boys says he will hate him for the rest of his life.

Hawkeye: I hope it's a nice long hate.
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Old 11-26-2016, 06:16 PM   #35
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Frank: "Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce."
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Old 02-09-2017, 08:49 PM   #36
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Radar: "Stop makin' fun of my height!"
Hawkeye: "What height? You have no height to make fun of. Go get some height; we'll make fun of it."

Frank: (To Hawkeye) "Well, I haven't killed anybody this week. What about you, big shot?"
(Hawk grabs Frank...)
Nurse: (o.s.)"Get him, Pierce!"

Hot Lips: "Stop it! Stop it!"
Hawkeye: "I'll kill him!"
Hot Lips: "You'll have to kill me first."
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"Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd

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Old 02-10-2017, 01:36 AM   #37
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Hawkeye to Radar: "Go ahead, get mad. I love it when those little wisps of steam come out of your ears!"

Frank sees Igor and another soldier standing in front of a fire: "WHERE'D YOU GET THAT WOOD SOLDIER?"
Igor: "My sister sent it to me sir!"
Frank: "Oh, ok." (he walks away-Igor looks at the other soldier and shrugs)

Hawkeye: "Are you a beer man sir? Or would you rather have a martini?"
Trapper: "A martini, that would be...I'd love a martini."
(Hawkeye hands him one( "I think you'll find these dry though quite accommodating"
Trapper: "Don't you have any olives?"
Duke: "Olives? Where do you think you are man?"
Hawkeye: "We do have to make some accommodations for the war; we are 3 miles from the front."
Trapper: "Yes but you can't really enjoy a martini without an olive." (opens a jar of olives, removes one and drops it in his martini)

well you never said they had to be from the series!
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Old 02-10-2017, 06:19 PM   #38
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(Radar seeing Klinger in pants)

Radar: "Hey, don't I know your sister?"
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Old 03-05-2017, 05:52 PM   #39
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Frank: "The men hate me, don't they?"
Radar: "Just your guts, sir."
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Old 03-05-2017, 06:15 PM   #40
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Hot Lips: "THIS ISN'T A HOSPITAL!! IT'S AN INSAYNE ASYLUM!!!"
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Old 03-13-2017, 07:29 PM   #41
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Mulcahy: (singing)
"Comrades, comrades, ever since we were boys.
Sharing each other's sorrows, sharing each other's joys."

Hawkeye: "That comes from being dead two years."

Last edited by Ohio8; 04-01-2017 at 03:33 PM.
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Old 03-18-2017, 09:10 PM   #42
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"It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud!"
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Old 03-19-2017, 01:54 PM   #43
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Frank: (To Hawkeye) "Who knows? Maybe you were performing surgery in your sleep."
B.J.: (Turns to Frank) "The voice of experience."

Radar: "I just got a cold shiver down my back."
Hawkeye: "Me too."
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Old 03-30-2017, 06:17 PM   #44
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A Hawkeye quote:
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Old 04-18-2017, 07:52 PM   #45
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Trapper: "Reality is up for grabs. One man's reality is another man's fantasy."
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