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Old 05-25-2006, 08:14 PM   #376
lilhave
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cartoondvds


Here's a rock python Harv
Sorry, that's Lamont the Earthworm. To get a picture of me, you will hav to travel to Brazil.

Harvey
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Old 05-25-2006, 08:20 PM   #377
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should i ask TJ if he can bend the rules
JUST THIS ONCE
so i can post THE PROOF of the earthworm



( u know what they say about black men, especially black junkyard men!)
or maybe more like

?
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I have not been trading for some time now, so please do not ask---- sorry, i cannot help you!
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Old 05-25-2006, 08:29 PM   #378
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamont
should i ask TJ if he can bend the rules
JUST THIS ONCE
so i can post THE PROOF of the earthworm


Why don't we bring back sheri, to be the judge?
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Old 05-25-2006, 08:40 PM   #379
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Default ill have to pass joker

although sheri220 is CERTAINLY MUCH MUCH MUCH
MORE THAN QUALIFIED to be a judge in that area
im gonna have to pass

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Old 05-25-2006, 08:59 PM   #380
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamont
should i ask TJ if he can bend the rules
JUST THIS ONCE
so i can post THE PROOF of the earthworm



( u know what they say about black men, especially black junkyard men!)
or maybe more like

?
Was sherri's last name Bobbit? You can't claim it if someone else stole it
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Old 05-26-2006, 05:52 AM   #381
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Default Raking leaves

Top Ten Signs You've Hired the Wrong Kid to Rake Your Leaves


10. He charges you by the leaf

9. Keeps asking where he should plug in his rake

8. Picks up leaves one at a time, dips them in nacho cheese, and eats them

7. Says, "This'll just take a minute," and starts soaking your lawn with gasoline

6. Your neighbor calls and asks, "Who's that naked guy chasing my dog with a rake?"

5. Half an hour after he starts, you notice he's sitting on your back porch

4. You recognize his work gloves from the O.J. Simpson trial

3. Comes to your door and says, "I've had a long talk with the leaves, and they've decided to stay"

2. Constantly reminding you that he used to be famous for those "Home Alone" movies

1. His motto: rake a leaf, do a shot

Harvey
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Old 05-26-2006, 05:53 AM   #382
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Default Rules for Texas

Rules for Visitors in Texas
Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. And don't assume that Waffle House grits are any more typical of grits in the Righteous South than McDonald's represents your best California dinner.
Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Bobby Sue, MaryBeth and Inez have been known to whip a man's behind for less than that.
Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda; this can lead to a beating. Down here it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.
Texas women don't take a fancy to smart mouth Yankees. Just remember, they all have brothers and daddies. And when they call you a Yankee it's NOT a compliment.
Don't show allegiances to any other school in football other than a Texas team. All the others are a bunch of sissies who play Wyoming every week.
Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are better educated than you and a whole lot nicer to boot. And more modest.
Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit complaining, spend your money and go home.
No, the state symbol of Texas is not the orange and white highway barrel. This road construction bothers us too.
Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order toast. If you do this everyone will know you're from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God meant for you to do.
Don't try to talk with a Texas accent if you don't have one. Nothing makes us madder than a Texan wannabe.
Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. If you don't like it here, get your sorry behind back home! As the famous bumpersticker says: "We don't care how you did it up north."
We don't play lacrosse or none of them other sissy northern games, so don't be asking about no scores, cause we just don't care.

Harvey
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Old 05-26-2006, 05:55 AM   #383
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Default Dumb Robber

Top Ten Signs You're Being Robbed By a Dumb Guy


10. The knife he's wielding bears the "Nerf" logo

9. Takes your wallet, then just stands there admiring your family snapshots

8. Despite the fake afro, it's perfectly clear that he's beloved actor Dick Van Patten

7. Gives you a phone number where he can be reached if you happen to come across any more cash in the next few days

6. Allows you to videotape him if you promise he'll be on "Cops"

5. Claims he has a gun in his pocket, but he's naked

4. Asks if he can use you as a reference for his next robbery

3. After surprising you at ATM machine, spends 40 minutes trying to guess your PIN number

2. His getaway plan: drug Gavin MacLeod and ride the "Love Boat" to Guam

1. Bets all your money on the Jets

Harvey
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Old 05-26-2006, 06:50 AM   #384
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a texans defination of a yankee

anyone who lives north of his house
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Old 05-26-2006, 08:02 AM   #385
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Dude, you should send these in to Letterman, they're great top 10 lists.
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Old 05-26-2006, 08:26 AM   #386
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anthony33
Dude, you should send these in to Letterman, they're great top 10 lists.
My satisfaction is getting a smile from Anthony. Plus, Savage told me, if I get Anthony to post about the jokes, she would come to Brooklyn and spend time with me on the Coney Island beach, in the most secluded area. Now all I have to do is convince my wife there is a big sale at Wal-Mart. Now to pick my favorite color for the bikini.

Harvey
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Old 05-26-2006, 09:28 AM   #387
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Quote:
Bets all your money on the Jets
I'm guessing ... you're either a frustrated Jets fan or a gloating Giants fan...








Go Giants!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 09:51 AM   #388
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennymcc
I'm guessing ... you're either a frustrated Jets fan or a gloating Giants fan...

There is no team with maybe the exception of the Mets I hate more then then Gang Green. Was a Giant fan since a child and grew up in the glory years of the fearsome foursome, Greer, Modeleski, Katcavage and Robestelli, with Sam Huff to clog up the middle. What years, first Connerly as QB and then Y.A.

I must correct one statement I made. My most hated team and I was born six blocks away and lived their for the first 19 years of my life, was the Brooklyn Dodgers. A strong, strong, staunch Giant fan, in particular "say hey Willie"

Harvey








Go Giants!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 10:17 AM   #389
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilhave
There is no team with maybe the exception of the Mets I hate more then then Gang Green.

hey, Hey, HEY !!!
Watch it there buddy.

Gang Green is represented on this board by yours truly so we'll have none of that talk around here or I'll get Fireman Ed to come a knockin' on your door.




J - E - T - S

JETS , JETS - JETS !!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 11:42 AM   #390
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Default Better use of the Jets Colours!

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