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tiredmike59 · 07-03-2012, 03:47 AM

A bear chased a man up a tree
Where a squirrel became mad as can be
You're being a pest
You're blocking my nest
And I have to get out to pee.

tiredmike59 · 07-04-2012, 01:58 PM

There once was a dentist in Maine
Who promised there would be no pain
His patients were thrilled
Until they were billed
Then their butts needed some novocaine.

tiredmike59 · 07-04-2012, 06:53 PM

There once was a puppet named Joan
Who learned how to speak on her own
She would talk all day
She had plenty to say
It was a shame she was always alone.

tiredmike59 · 07-04-2012, 08:04 PM

A man had a fireworks craze
It was just one of those days
He was unable to handle
A Roman candle
And set his arse ablaze.

tiredmike59 · 07-07-2012, 09:12 PM

There once was a woman in Wales
Who began to resemble the snails
She had tentacles and shell
Was as slimey as Hell
And wherever she went she left trails.

tiredmike59 · 07-07-2012, 09:14 PM

The sirens are a blowin
But there's no way of knowin
If the twister's near
Or if it's here
So in the basement I'm a goin.

tiredmike59 · 07-08-2012, 08:01 PM

There once was a boy who was four
Who decided to sneak out the door
He went outside
So he could hide
While his mom was mopping the floor

To be continued on next post.

tiredmike59 · 07-08-2012, 08:03 PM

He had hidden behind a tree
Where he hoped no one could see
But his dog sniffed him out
With his powerful snout
And dragged him back in by his knee.

tiredmike59 · 07-09-2012, 04:18 PM

The employees were excited this day
It was time to collect their pay
But the boss was reclusive
He was being elusive
He just wished they would go away.

tiredmike59 · 07-09-2012, 08:30 PM

There once was a man from Tibet
Whose body never got wet
He was a dirty monk
And he sure stunk
Skunks smelled better I bet.

tiredmike59 · 07-10-2012, 01:39 AM

There once was a guy named Cy
Whose tie got caught in his fly
He went to unzip
And it started to rip
Now his tie's four inches high.

tiredmike59 · 07-10-2012, 08:28 PM

There once was a ghost named Ned
Who worried about something he read
" AT THE BREAK OF DAWN "
" THE WORLD WILL BE GONE "
Then he remembered he's already dead.

tiredmike59 · 07-10-2012, 10:50 PM

There once was a beast called Godzilla
Who left Japan for Manilla
He was a giant pest
That made such a mess
And got chased by a Japanese flotilla.

tiredmike59 · 07-11-2012, 04:04 PM

Granny was busy sewin
Her pants,so it wouldn't be showin
The hole in the back
That exposed her crack
And the cold draft she felt a blowin.

tiredmike59 · 07-12-2012, 08:48 PM

The weatherman had lots to say
A hurricane was on the way
But it turned about
Then fizzled out
Now he hopes for another some day.

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07-03-2012, 03:47 AM	#121
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	A bear chased a man up a tree Where a squirrel became mad as can be You're being a pest You're blocking my nest And I have to get out to pee.

07-04-2012, 01:58 PM	#122
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a dentist in Maine Who promised there would be no pain His patients were thrilled Until they were billed Then their butts needed some novocaine.

07-04-2012, 06:53 PM	#123
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a puppet named Joan Who learned how to speak on her own She would talk all day She had plenty to say It was a shame she was always alone.

07-04-2012, 08:04 PM	#124
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	A man had a fireworks craze It was just one of those days He was unable to handle A Roman candle And set his arse ablaze.

07-07-2012, 09:12 PM	#125
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a woman in Wales Who began to resemble the snails She had tentacles and shell Was as slimey as Hell And wherever she went she left trails.

07-07-2012, 09:14 PM	#126
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	The sirens are a blowin But there's no way of knowin If the twister's near Or if it's here So in the basement I'm a goin.

07-08-2012, 08:01 PM	#127
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a boy who was four Who decided to sneak out the door He went outside So he could hide While his mom was mopping the floor To be continued on next post.

07-08-2012, 08:03 PM	#128
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	He had hidden behind a tree Where he hoped no one could see But his dog sniffed him out With his powerful snout And dragged him back in by his knee.

07-09-2012, 04:18 PM	#129
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	The employees were excited this day It was time to collect their pay But the boss was reclusive He was being elusive He just wished they would go away.

07-09-2012, 08:30 PM	#130
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a man from Tibet Whose body never got wet He was a dirty monk And he sure stunk Skunks smelled better I bet.

07-10-2012, 01:39 AM	#131
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a guy named Cy Whose tie got caught in his fly He went to unzip And it started to rip Now his tie's four inches high.

07-10-2012, 08:28 PM	#132
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a ghost named Ned Who worried about something he read " AT THE BREAK OF DAWN " " THE WORLD WILL BE GONE " Then he remembered he's already dead.

07-10-2012, 10:50 PM	#133
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	There once was a beast called Godzilla Who left Japan for Manilla He was a giant pest That made such a mess And got chased by a Japanese flotilla.

07-11-2012, 04:04 PM	#134
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	Granny was busy sewin Her pants,so it wouldn't be showin The hole in the back That exposed her crack And the cold draft she felt a blowin.

07-12-2012, 08:48 PM	#135
tiredmike59 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 05, 2010 Location: OUTLAW STATE {MO} Posts: 1,863	The weatherman had lots to say A hurricane was on the way But it turned about Then fizzled out Now he hopes for another some day.