The Limerick Game

[tiredmike59]

Tommy the turkey said,
" In November they'll chop off my head "
" They'll shove bread up my rear "
" Bring relatives here "
" Just so they all can be fed "

[tiredmike59]

There once was an old hen named Peg
Who would not lay any eggs
" Why give them away free? "
" What's in it for me? "
Everyone liked her,especially the legs.

[tiredmike59]

There once was a man named Clyde
Who suffered from lack of pride
Whatever you had
He'd want it real bad
And if you said no,he cried.

[tiredmike59]

There once was a man on a diet
Who had to stay at the Hyatt
Because his neighbors next door
Were grilling a boar
He knew if he smelled it,he'd try it.

[tiredmike59]

A boy had swallowed a rubberband
That's when the entertainment all began
While taking a dump
He noticed a bungee jump
And the jumps got longer when he would stand.

[tiredmike59]

There once was a fellow named Tim
Who never learned how to swim
His boat had gone down
But before he could drown
A sea turtle had rescued him.

[tiredmike59]

A man was building a shed
He tripped and fell on his head
Then he smashed his thumb
And when it grew numb
He called for a carpenter instead.

[tiredmike59]

A man put his change in a machine
He wanted a Coke with caffeine
But the machine had a plan
It ripped off that man
Why was that machine so mean ?

[tiredmike59]

The sky was blue and the wind was right
So a boy decided to fly his kite
It climbed real high
Into the sky
The string broke and it was out of sight.

[tiredmike59]

What a strange creature the eel
Can give off a shock you can feel
It swims like a snake
And is usually awake
And for some it's considered a meal.

[tiredmike59]

There once was a dog named Spot
Who was trained to use the pot
He would straddle the bowl
Then deposit his roll
And flush, sometimes he forgot.

While typing this up, I thought of another version ;

There once was a dog named Spot
Who was trained to use the pot
The weed that he'd buy
Made him extremely high
And that dog really smoked a lot.

[tiredmike59]

A farmer had picked up a melon
Inside he could hear someone yellin
He discovered a hole
And out popped a mole
Who said, " I was just crawling around and I fell in "

[tiredmike59]

Some kids took their dog to the park
When suddenly he began to bark
A squirrel climbed a stump
Bit the dog on the rump
And the dog swore he had teeth like a shark

[tiredmike59]

The students who sat in the front row
Claimed, all of the answers they did know
While the kids in the back
Wanted to hit the sack
That's why their grades were so low.

[tiredmike59]

I can remember the first day of school
We all had new clothes and tried to look cool
It was like sitting in Hell
Until we heard the bell
Then " Walked " out the building,that was the rule.