Thread: Quotes:
View Single Post
Old 05-18-2018, 08:25 AM   #6
Frank Gannucci
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,374

"Hello Mom":

Ralph: "Cream-chipped beef again?"

Alice: "Yeah, but I fixed it a new way, Ralph. I got the recipe out of a movie magazine. Its Ricardo Cortez's favorite."

Ralph: "Well, I hope when Ricardo gets here tonight he enjoys it!"


Alice: "Why don't you take advantage of the time you have now and go to sleep."

Ralph: "You're right. Sorry I yelled at you. Good night."

(Ralph goes to the bedroom. The alarm clock rings. It's 5am. Time to go to work for Ralph. Ralph brings the alarm clock out and has a weird look on his face while Audrey tries her best not to laugh.)

Ralph (yells): "IT'S FIVE O' CLOCK. IT'S FIVE O' CLOCK."

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."

Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"

Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."

Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."


(Ralph thinks that Alice packed an awful lunch for him. He also sees Alice's shoes in the stove. He doesn't know that they were there for drying purposes.)

Ralph: "What were the shoes doing in the stove?"

Alice: "What do you think they were stupid, your dinner?"

Ralph: "After today, I wouldn't be surprised."

"The Worry Wart":

Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning on that refund - IN ITS ENTIRETY! I need all of the refund - all 42 dollars! I can't afford to let any of the 42 go! I got to go down to Fred's Landings - I need 42 dollars! What am I gonna do if I haven't got enough money?"

Alice: "We'll just have to cut down, Ralph. Just ask for a cheaper tent with a smaller snake."

"Oh My Aching Back":

(Ralph tries to stand up straight with his bad back.)

Ralph: "How does this look? Does this look natural?"

Ed: "Yeah, like the Leaning Tower of Pizza."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(Ed & Ralph are trying to think of a way to get that woman, as they refer to her as, out of the phone booth. Unbeknownst to them, the woman is Alice.)

Ed: "Why don't we go across the street, call here, tell this lady she is wanted home. She leaves. Then, we come back here to call up the hypnotist."

Ralph: "Did you just say to go across the street, call here, tell this lady she is wanted home, then when she leaves, we use this phone to call up the hypnotist?" (yells): "I NEVER HEARD ANYTHING MORE STUPID IN MY LIFE. THIS PHONE WOULD BE BUSY IF WE DID THAT."
Frank Gannucci is offline   Reply With Quote