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Old 04-29-2006, 06:05 AM   #240
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 03, 2004
Location: N.Y.C.
Posts: 2,287
Default Redneck wedding

It might be a redneck wedding...

If the groom is wearing a bowling shirt

If the bride wears a crop top so her tattoo will show

If the bride’s hair is bigger than her veil

If the bride carries a bouquet of artificial flowers

If the bride maids have fringe on their skirts and vests

If the wedding is delayed because the groom’s truck wouldn’t start

If the bride’s father brings a shotgun to the wedding

If the wedding march is played on dueling banjos

If the friends of the groom TP the church

If the decorations include any pink flamingo

If the best man is wearing a baseball cap

If the preacher has sideburns and wide lapels

If they throw corn at the couple instead of rice

If the musical selections include Loretta Lynn or George Jones

If the photographer is using a disposable camera from Wal-Mart

If the groom’s men have western boots and sequins on their shirts

If the reception is held at the local waffle house

If the hor dourves include pork skins and bean dip

If guests play pinball machines or shoot pool at the reception

If there is a jug in the backroom

If the wedding gifts include hubcaps, ammunition, or IOUs

If the wedding buffet includes pork barbecue and toothpicks

If the getaway car is a pickup truck with Pabst beer cans tied behind it

If the wedding announcement is in the free advertiser newspaper

If the couple plans to honeymoon in Branson, Mo.

If the newlyweds will reside in a mobile home

If the groom gives chewing tobacco for wedding favors

If the bride does too

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