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Old 01-02-2016, 04:09 AM   #80
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Join Date: Feb 25, 2002
Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania
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Originally Posted by um
Anyone recall a Dick Van Dyke Show episode in which Dick Van Dyke was being aggressively flirted-with by a young woman at his workplace and Dick's wife felt jealous even though Dick was not encouraging the young woman to flirt with him and then there is a scene in which he is in the living room talking with his wife about his supposed inability to be firm with other people, and Dick tells his wife that he intends to firmly tell the young woman at work to stop pursuing him, and then Dick's young son comes in to the room and pesters his dad to fix his toy truck and Dick keeps telling the boy that he will do it later , not now, but when the boy persists in telling his dad to fix his toy, Dick finally says to the boy that he will spank him if he does not stop badgering him but the boy keeps whining that he wants him to fix his toy. Then Dick's wife tells the boy that his dad will fix the toy later, so go somewhere else to play in the meantime and the boy instantly says "OK" and leaves the room .
Then Dick Van Dyke is amazed at how his wife was able to get the boy to obey her while he could not. Then Dick van Dyke says that he will be just as assertive in telling the young flirt at his office to leave him alone. His wife says "What if she doesn't" and Dick Van Dyke says, "I'll spank her."
that episode plot was re-used years later on an episode of "THE NEW DICK VAN DYKE SHOW".
the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
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