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Old 02-25-2020, 08:36 AM   #1048
Frank Gannucci
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Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,614

"The Golfer":

(Ralph picks up the cotton ball.)

Ralph (yells): "OW! IT HAS PINS IN IT."

Ed: "What did you expect. chicken noddles?"

"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."

Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "We will sell hamburgers, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."

Ed: "And we will widen the front door."

Ralph: "Why would we do that?"

Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"

"Two Tickets To The Fight":

Ed: "Are you sick?"

Ralph: "Yeah, I'm sick."

(Ralph winks to say to Ed that he isn't. Ed doesn't buy it.)

Ed: "You ain't kidding. You even got a twitch in your eye."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Ed: "Here's a good theme for the dance. How about the Vikings Discovering America?"

Ralph: "You want to do that theme in the Sons of Italy Hall?"

"The Loudspeaker":

Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Trixie & Ed enter into the pool room. Ralph & Alice are already in the pool room. Ralph and Ed are in the middle of a fight.)

Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."

Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."

"The Next Champ":

Ralph: "Did you just see how Dynamite walloped that machine?"

Ed: "Good thing it wasn't a Pepsi-Cola machine or we would all drown."

"Two Men On A Horse Part 1":

Alice: "I'll go get a flashlight for you."

Ralph: "I don't need one."

(Ralph leaves and falls down the stairs. Alice comes by the door. He comes back.)

Ralph: "Well, don't just stand there. Get me a flashlight."
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