Thread: Quotes:
View Single Post
Old 11-04-2019, 07:40 AM   #884
Frank Gannucci
Member
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,194
Default

"Principle of The Thing":

(Ralph & Ed are about to redecorate the apartment.)

Alice: "If you ask me, this wall shouldn't be papered. It should be padded."

(She leaves.)

Ralph: "Ooh, just once. Bang!"

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Alice: "You are going to that wedding Ralph. You are going to the wedding. You are going to the wedding."

Ralph: "I am going to the ballgame."

Alice: "You are going to the wedding."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO THE BALLGAME."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE GOING TO THE BALLGAME."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO THE WEDDING."

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ralph: "I am going to the game."

(Ralph leaves.)

Alice: "You are not going to the game."

Ralph (opening the door): "I am going to the game."

(Ralph leaves.)

(Alice opens up the window.)

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE GOING TO MY SISTER'S WEDDING."

(Alice closes the window.)

(Ralph comes back up.)

Ralph (opening the door, yells): "I AM GOING TO THE GAME."

"Play It Again, Norton":

Ralph: "What did you used to call your dad?"

Ed: "Long distance."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "Well, I have to confess Mr. Faversham that I was in the 1927 follics of the bus drivers. As a matter of fact, I walked on stage and I didn't do anything and the audience was laughing."

Ed: "That ballet dress you had on didn't do you any harm."

"The Main Event":

Dynamite: "I need a manager. Someone who will give fights."

Ed: "Why don't you get the guy you KOed in 12 seconds?"

"On Stage":

Ralph: "That shows how much you know about show business. You're always talking about something you don't know anything about. Just remember this: Gregory Peck was an usher at the Music Hall, you know, when they found him, and Kurt Douglas was a soda jerk. So, there's a chance for me."

Alice: "Sure, you can become an usher at the Music Hall or a soda jerk!"

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Do you know how embarrassing it is to be thrown out of the Raccoon Lodge?"

Alice: "Yeah, it's pretty embarrassing just being in it."

"Two For The Money":

Ralph: "How many holdups have I had?"

Alice: "Six."

Ralph: "In five of them, they didn't get anything."

Alice: "The sixth time was a doozy. They took $45 and the bus."

Ralph: "I have been driving a bus for 15 years and because I lose ONE bus, you have to hold it over my head."
Frank Gannucci is online now   Reply With Quote