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Old 08-26-2018, 12:36 AM   #32
JL82
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Join Date: Aug 14, 2009
Location: Toledo, Ohio
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Originally Posted by Kristen View Post
I watched "The Wedding" again today, and I have to say I looove the scene where Max goes to find out what's wrong with Fran, and he tells her all the things he loves about her. I actually think I had to wipe a tear, LOL. It's one of the moments when I love Maxwell the most. Even with all his faults, he really is a great guy.
Four and half years of him not moving fast enough for her, and now she's almost backing out. Actually, there were a few times after the proposal she almost did.

I actually don't think Max taking four and a half years from first meeting Fran before proposing to her is itself so bad. A lot of media (books as well as TV) imply that there's something wrong with someone who takes relationships slowly. Whatever reason they give, their friends always seem to say, "Oh, you're just afraid - you know you're in love - just jump in." Indeed, drama, problems in the relationship - and, indeed, an inability to talk to each other about feelings, are often said to be evidence of the strength of the feelings - the feelings must be intense if they scare you enough to avoid them. To some extent they did imply that about Max. He often could tell other people, such as Niles, how he felt about Fran - but not her.

And if the character is a single parent, and they say they're being cautious because of how it might affect their kids, someone always says, "Oh, nonsense, you're just rationalizing your own fear," or "Stop being so serious and live life."

I don't think his taking back his first "I love you" is exactly a good thing, but let's face it - he could have gotten her into bed and THEN taken back his "I love you" or said he wasn't serious about her. He's more decent than to do that. There were a couple of other times she seemed ready to sleep with him and he backed off because, to him, that was getting serious. "Fran's Gotta Have It" is the big one. You felt like he was almost as scared of the sex itself as of commitment, but it seemed classy at the time. Then in season 5 they changed that a little...there were times he seemed willing to get more intimate and didn't happen because something else got in the way, but he would have. And then they implied in season 5 that he'd had a casual fling (or two) with other women. That seemed very...un-Max. Out of character.

I actually view Fran's obsessive need to get married NOW as a fault of hers, and it makes her far less lovable than she could have been. She's a quirky "fish out of water" character, but she's not comfortable with her differentness in an inspiring way...she's very insecure, and not just about Max, or marriage.

I do think it's a little strange for someone who has already been married, whose first marriage lasted until the partner tragically died, to describe themselves as "afraid of commitment." I've always heard a lot of widowers in that situation are eager to marry again. Phrases like, "I feel like I'm being disloyal to my first wife," "I'm afraid I could lose her the way I lost my first wife - if my first wife could die young, so could Fran" or "I don't want the children to think I didn't love their mother" or such, would sound better (even if they weren't actually logical.)

Last edited by JL82; 08-31-2018 at 03:28 PM.
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