Thread: Quotes:
View Single Post
Old 10-04-2019, 07:46 AM   #853
Frank Gannucci
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,376

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Alice: "There's an old wives' tale Ralph. 'A man works from sun-to-sun but a woman's work is never done.'"

Ralph: "Good gosh!"

"A Dog's Life":

(Ralph & Ed are thinking of what to name their dog food. Mr. Marshall will be one of the first people to taste it.)

Ed: "How about Kramden's Delicious Marshall."

Ralph: "What kind of stuff is Marshall?"

Ed: "Well, we don't know what this stuff is. You might as well call it Marshall."

"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph. You are my husband."

Ralph: "No, I am your brother."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Ed: "The door is busted."

Alice: "Don't be ridiculous. It's a Dutch door."

Ed: "Boy, those Dutch people must be very short."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Trixie: "I don't know how Ed can become unconscious so fast."

Ralph: "He has got a pretty good head start."

"Songs & Witty Sayings Part 1":

Alice: "Molly wally unga."

Ralph: "What does that mean?"

Alice: "That is Hawaiian for: 'Ahh, shut up.'"

"The Main Event":

Ralph: "Do you know what a manager and a trainer get of the purse? A third. Do you know what a boxer can get? $300,000 to $400,000 a fight."

Ed: "A strong kid like that can fight five or six times a week."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

(Ralph is trying to do an aptitude test.)

Ed: "A five-year-old can do this."

Ralph: "Don't worry. I'll do it."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

(The doctor gives Ralph a word association test.)

Doctor: "Man."

Ralph: "Woman."

Doctor: "House."

Ralph: "Furniture."

Doctor: "Dog."

Ralph: "Cat."

Doctor: "Bus."

Ralph: "Those dirty rotten passengers."
Frank Gannucci is offline   Reply With Quote