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Old 05-19-2019, 06:41 AM   #650
Frank Gannucci
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 7,317

"Great Jewel Robbery":

Ralph: "In the race to get ahead, I am way out in front."

Ed: "Yes, you certainly are way out in front."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Butler: "Mr. Marshall will be here shortly. He's in the library."

Ed: "The library? He ought to get here soon. The library closes at 9."

"Opportuinty Knocks, But":

(Ralph is upset that Ed is now his supervisor.)

Alice: "It's a blow to your pride."

Ralph: "It's not my pride Alice. It's not my pride."

Alice: "Well, your job is still the same."

Ralph: "Face it Alice. The day Ed becomes my boss, I will quit."

Alice: "Why?"

Ralph: "I have got my pride."

"Principle of The Thing" & "Hot Dog Stand":

Alice: "You call a bowling ball an absolute neccessity?"

Ralph: "I do. You can't bowl without one."

"People's Choice" (Color):

(Ed brakes a paper bag behind Ralph's back. Ralph thought that he was shot.)

Alice: "What was that noise?"

Ralph: "Babyhead (Ed) had to break a paper bag."

"Two For The Money":

(Ralph lost the $200 that the lodge had collected.)

Ralph: "All I could scrape together was $8."

Ed: "Why don't you hock Alice's engagement ring?"

Ralph: "Where do you think I got the $8?"

"This Is Your Life Part 2":

Phil Cucco: "Too bad there aren't enough Alices to go around."

Ralph: "This one gets around pretty good."

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "'One hand washes the other while both hands wash the face.'"

Ed: "Never mind that. Just get me the water. I know how to wash."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Ralph: "You are so funny that I am going to put you in my act. I am going to call the act 'Punch & Judy' and you are going to be Judy."

Alice: "And you are going to be Punchy."

Ed: "Punchy. Ha ha ha ha ha."

Ralph (to Ed, yells): "SHUT UP!"
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