View Full Version : Aww...Read this written by Desi Arnaz Jr.


x1LucyFanx
08-28-2003, 09:16 PM
Women's Day
"My Mom, Lucille Ball"
by Desi Arnaz Jr.
March 5, 1991

We all loved Lucy, but no one knew her better- or loved her more- than her children. Desi Arnaz, Jr., shares warm memories of his mother.

Nearly two years after her death, on April 26, 1989, Lucille Ball remains the world's best-loved comedienne. But what was Lucy really like behind closed doors? A new CBS TV movie Lucy and Desi: Before the Laughter claims to reveal the tempestrous truth about the wacky redhead and her Cuban-born husband. But perhaps no one knew Lucy better than her children, "Little" Lucie and Desi, Jr. Her son, now 38, shares warm memories of a woman who loved her husband deeply, struggled to keep her family together and was a devoted mother. His story reminds us why we all loved Lucy.

Sometimes I catch sight of a photo or find an I Love Lucy rerun on TV. And then it hits me: how much I miss her. Our relationship went through some painful stages, but Mom's love was intense and tenacious.

My parents were probably the most famous couple in Hollywood when I was growing up, but they didn't act like stars at home. In many ways I had an ordinary upbringing. That was largely Mom's doing; family was extremely important to her. She had my sister Lucie when she was 39, after ten years of marriage and two miscarriages. I came along when she was 41. I think Mom loved us more simply because she'd wanted children for so long.

She spent alot of time with Lucie and me. She attended school plays and Little League games, helped me with my homework, and made an effort to get to know my friends. She took us to Disneyland and followed us around with a home movie camara. She even tape recorded interviews with us. Mom saved everything from our childhood and kept boxes and boxes of momentoes-including baby shoes, our drawings, and all the gifts her fans sent when I was born. "The years go by so quickly," she used to say.

Mom tried to pass on the solid values she had learned from her own mother, "You're not special because you're famous," she said. If we broke the rules we got spanked, grounded or sent to our rooms. Lucie and I had to make our beds and pick up our clothes. Although Mom wanted us to enjoy her wealth, she wanted us to learn the value of money too. At times she was extravagant: On one of my birthdays, Mom had a carnival set up in our backyard- complete with a Ferris wheel, clowns and a live elephant! But our weekly allowance, which started at .50 never exceeded $5. And while some stars' children went to school in chauffeur-driven cars, we rode the bus.

Off screen Mom wasn't Lucy Ricardo. She didn't get into outlandish predicaments. When she tried to tell a joke she usually got the punchline wrong-and she'd laugh at her mistake. To Mom comedy was all character, and nothing was funnier than your own pretensions.

In 1960, when I was 7, my parents split up. Dad moved from Beverly Hills to Del Mar, near San Deigo. Their divorce was extremeley painful for Mom because she tried so hard to prevent it. She consulted psychiatrists and even arranged an elborate European vacation to try to bring the family together. When Dad's drinking and womanizing finally became too much for her, she let go. Yes, she was sad and angry, but she didn't impose those feelings on my sister, Lucie, and me.

My sister and I were never put in the middle. Mom encouraged us to have a relationship with Dad, and we saw him often. In fact, their divorce was so noncombative that they used the same lawyer and agreed to split their financial empire 50-50.

After the divorce, my parents' relationship improved in many ways. They talked often and laughed the old way. Mom introduced my stepfather, Gary Morton, to Dad before marrying him in 1961. And she warmly approved of Dad's second wife, Edie.

Mom told Lucie and me that didn't expect Gary to take Dad's place. "You'll always have your father," she said. We already knew that, but it wasn't enough. We took Mom to see The Parent Trap-the movie where Hayley Mills reunites her divorced parents-about five times. "Can't you say you're sorry and go back?" I asked. She shook her head. "People change," she said, sadly.

I relize now that Mom's love for Dad really was love, so it never changed to hate. She kept Dad's wedding ring all her life. He'd lost it in the ocean during a Hawaiian vacation shortly before they broke up. Several years later a fan found it, noticed it was inscribed "To Desi with Love From Lucy," and returned it to Mom. In the meantime, Dad had had a duplicate ring made. He kept that all his life too.

At 12, I formed a band with two grammar school friends, Billy Hinsche and Dean Martin, Jr. Frank Sinatra helped us get a recording contract, and Dino, Desi and Billy became a big success. We earned thousands of dollars, played on the Ed Sullivan Show, and were chased by crowds of screaming girls. We socialized with Elvis and the Beach Boys. I was also intoduced to drugs and alcohol. I looked like I was having a great time. Inside, I felt hollow. Was this all there was? The question terrified me. I told myself all I needed was something else-more money, another girl, a different kind of drug.

Mom and I started to fight. She was worried that success had come too easily for me, and got angry when I ignored my schoolwork and brought home failing grades. She pleaded with me to get help for my drinking and drug habits. But I felt industructible. We argued alot and sometimes stopped speaking to each other for weeks. I spent more and more time at Dad's house. He had a love for life that I admired, and his own drinking problem prevented him from coming down too hard on me.

By 15 I was financially independent. I still lived at Mom's house, though, until we had a big argument on our front lawn at 6 A.M. I was just getting home after being out all night with my new girlfriend. I thought I was in love, and that love justified being crazy and impulsive. As I got out of my car, Mom and Gary were already at the front door. She'd been up most of the night frantically calling the police and the hospitals, and she looked tired and tense. "I'm in love!" was all I could say.

"Don't you see that your actions affect other people?" she asked. "How could you be so irresponsible?" Later we talked. "Desi, you have to choose," Mom said. "You can either live here and follow the rules, or you can leave. But if you go, you're entirely on your own."

"I can take care of myself," I insisted. It was a sad moment: A part of my life was ending. I already belonged to the adult world and I couldn't go back to being a regular teenager. So although I was only 16, I chose to move into my own apartment. Over the years I drifted farther and farther away emotionally.

Mom kept trying to reach out to me. She encouraged me to bring my girlfriends over to the house. Although the press made them out to be enemies, Mom actually liked Patty Duke. What she didn't like was the idea of me, at 17, having a relationship with a 23 year-old divorcee. As for Liza Minnelli-another divorcee, 7 years my senior, whom I became involved with several years later-she said, "I feel like a mother to her." When I married Linda Purl in 1980, she gave us her blessing.

Unfortunately, i couldn't accept my mother's helping hand. For one thing, I was so stubbornly sure I had all the answers. For another, drugs were taking over my life. At 18 I had already experimented with LSD, mescaline, cocaine, Quaaludes and marijuana. By 23 I was out of control. I couldn't maintain a relationship with anyone.

Finally in 1982 I reached a breaking point. I was in a hotel in Las Vegas where I'd taken part in a tennis tournament. I felt miserable- my marriage had recently ended-and I'd gone on a three-day drug binge to try to ease the loneliness. But it didn't work. At 29 I was dying physically and spirtually.

I had been inching toward change. About two years before, I'd joined a free self-development program called Success Without Stress, sponsored by the nonprofit New Life Foundation. That's when I first relized I had to change my life completly, from the inside out. Finally, I was ready to act.

I phoned Mom. She was the first person I thought of. "I guess you're wondering where I am," I began, because I was supposed to meet her several hours later to do a talk show in Los Angeles. "I'm not coming. I need help."

"Good," she said. "I understand. I'll help you." She never said one word about my leaving her in the lurch.

Within a week I began treatment at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California. Mom was a crucial particapant in my recovery. She endured family-confrontation therapy with five other families. She had no hesitations-but the others couldn't forget her public image. On the first day everyone was wearing an "I Love Lucy" button. Mom graciously said, "Isn't that nice? Thank you," but made it clear she was there to help me.

During the sessions, I told Mom I loved her and appreciated all the advantages she'd worked so hard to provide, but that I needed something beyond money and success.

Mom talked about her feelings of guilt. "I keep thinking I should have been able to prevent your problems," she said. "All I wanted was for you to be happy." She described how scared she'd felt when she saw me destroying myself. Suddenly, I saw how much I'd hurt her. I relized I wasn't seperate and isolated. That was nine years ago and I haven't used drugs or alcohol since.

When Mom went into the hospital in 1989, I went to her side immediately. We spent some very quiet and peaceful times together. We didn't make speeches. We'd already said what was in our hearts during the previous seven years. She died about 5 A.M. on April 26. How can I began to describe the way I felt? Shock, grief, loneliness, horror-the words seem shallow and inadequate. It's still hard for me to adjust to Mom's death. But I don't want to dwell on sorrow. I have to make the most of my own life. My parents would have wanted that. Lucy and Desi always believed in going forward. They believed in joy, laugter and love, and the spirit of their happiness is a great gift to me.

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6066/womensday_1991_article.html

LUCILLE BALL
08-28-2003, 09:26 PM
I guess Desi Jr. Appreciates his mom and what she did for him, unfortuantely his sister cannot come to grips with it yet.

onlyonelucy
08-28-2003, 09:56 PM
Originally posted by LUCILLE BALL
I guess Desi Jr. Appreciates his mom and what she did for him, unfortuantely his sister cannot come to grips with it yet.

I am thinking to myself, how in the world can Lucie say that her mother didn't do anything with her? Desi Jr must be lying, huh?

crazyredhead
08-29-2003, 06:55 AM
:rolleyes: Why would Lucie go and say stuff like that if something didn't really happen between them?

Anyway, I think that's very sweet of Desi, Jr. :)

*ShortCake*
08-29-2003, 08:33 AM
I love that article written by Desi Jr. Thanks for posting it

SPLAIN
08-29-2003, 08:53 AM
I always liked that kid! What a great article and yes, although i had read it when it came out, i forgot about it and will now print it out, thanks, beautiful article. What a great antidote to MY MOTHER NEVER MADE ME FEEL LOVED! Although instead of picking at Lucie, we should remember what Jen said, yeah, maybe she needs more time to sort everything out in her head, these things can take forever sometimes.

MagsLovesLucy
08-29-2003, 11:36 AM
I love that article. It's wonderful, thank you for posting it. :)

onlyonelucy
08-29-2003, 04:46 PM
Originally posted by crazyredhead
Why would Lucie go and say stuff like that if something didn't really happen between them?

I am not saying that Lucie & Lucy didn't have their problems because I know they did. My gosh, they went without speaking to one another for a long time. Seems to me that there was some sort of problem there BUT what I cannot understand is why Lucie didn't feel loved by her mother. I know first-hand that a mother-daughter relationship isn't the easiest thing in the world. Look at what Lucille had to learn from. Take a moment and think about her childhood. DeDe left her with Aunt Lola and then with that mean Sophia Peterson. After her daddy died, all Lucy wanted was another Daddy. When DeDe married Ed and Lucy was a small girl she approached Ed with, "Are you our new daddy?" and all Ed said was, "Just call me Ed". She was from a hard working family and Lucy & Fred themselves as children had to work and help the family a LOT. Desi on the other hand as a child had everything handed to him. He was raised in a nice home, had cars, money, boats and other things. Lucy & Desi's childhoods followed them into their adulthood AND their parenthood. It affected their parenting skills immensely (sp?). Anyway, back to little Lucie.......I don't doubt her mother loved her and I don't doubt she loved her mother. I just don't understand why she brings up the stories about her father and how he spent time with her telling her about the sunset but doesn't mention her mother reading to her or following her around with that video camera at Disney. I don't know... :confused:

onlyonelucy
08-29-2003, 04:49 PM
Originally posted by SPLAIN
What a great antidote to MY MOTHER NEVER MADE ME FEEL LOVED


That's all I am saying too.

crazyredhead
08-29-2003, 05:21 PM
Desi died in his daughter's arms.

Mickey
08-29-2003, 05:36 PM
Yes, very good point there, Crazyredhead. There is nothing more intense than that, and nothing that makes a relationship more special, in a weird kind of a way. It seals your love for somebody.

crazyredhead
08-30-2003, 08:02 AM
:) *nods*

ricardo/mertz
09-01-2003, 12:20 PM
That was a very nice article. Thanks for posting.

SPLAIN
09-02-2003, 10:08 AM
Yes dying in his daughter's arms is something i shall never forget. Poor Lucy died alone in a hospital room because the nurse was too expensive. Give enjoyment to generation after generation and die alone as your thank you.

ricardo/mertz
09-02-2003, 11:36 AM
Desi stated in his interview that he was at his mom's side in the hospital. What happened? Did he step out and when he came back it was too late?

SPLAIN
09-02-2003, 12:57 PM
Well, not that i want to contradict the little darlin after that great article, but he did visit her, yes, but Lucy was alone when she died. Some reports said the nurse had left for home, you know Trudi, mentionned in Lee's book. To have nurses around the clock would have cut into the estate total! Lucy died at 6AM. She woke up with a sharp pain in her back and minutes later lost conciousness. They tried reviving her for hours.

That Other Fan
09-02-2003, 02:57 PM
To have nurses around the clock would have cut into the estate total!

Snide remarks directed at a certain person who was close to Lucy and no longer alive to defend himself aside, had a nurse been there at that exact moment he/she would've been just that...a nurse. Kinda different dying with your own offspring holding you and comforting you and some nurse who you barely know at your side. Also, everyone thought Lucy was getting better. If memory serves, she was recovering so fast she was actually going to be moved to a private suite very next day, and she would have probably demanded to be taken home shortly after that, as she hated hospitals (as we all know). Had her kids, and Gary known what was "in the cards," not only would a nurse be present round the clock, but they most likely would have been there themselves.

Mickey
09-02-2003, 03:53 PM
You confuse me there Splain. You say she was alone when she died, but that they tried to revive her for hours? Well if she was dead they wouldn't have tried to revive her. Surely she was just alone when she lost consciousness then, and there were people with her when she actually died? Maybe that's what Desi Jnr meant when he said he was with her - when death was actually declared?

Besides, she had a ruptured aorta, yes? Death would have been very unexpected, and very sudden. It could have happened at any moment, and they wouldn't have known it was going to happen, so nobody being present when the thing actually went is nobody's fault. It's just one of those things. My grandmother stayed at her husband's side for several days without leaving, because she was told he was dying - she left the room at last to get a drink, and he slipped away when she was gone! These things just happen.

SPLAIN
09-03-2003, 08:49 AM
Mickey, you'll never change my mind on this one, she should NOT have been alone, and That Other Fan, wether you like it or not my snide remark was stolen from Paula Stewart and many others who knew that cheapskate, she had millions and therefore should have had round the clock nurses, whatever the expense, he cancelled nurses because he was cheap, so was she, but not when it came to someone's life or health!

Mickey
09-03-2003, 10:03 AM
I'm not trying to change your mind, you know way more about it than I do! I just can't believe that anybody would knowingly endanger their wife's life. Ouch, unfortunate rhyme, sorry! It seems unbelievable that a nurse would be taken away at a time when they thought death could be imminent, just to save money. :confused:

*ShortCake*
09-03-2003, 11:33 AM
Originally posted by Mickey
I'm not trying to change your mind, you know way more about it than I do! I just can't believe that anybody would knowingly endanger their wife's life. Ouch, unfortunate rhyme, sorry! It seems unbelievable that a nurse would be taken away at a time when they thought death could be imminent, just to save money. :confused:

welp, that sums Gary up for ya in a nutshell.

SPLAIN
09-03-2003, 12:22 PM
I think he cancelled the nurse after the stroke, a year earlier. At the hospital, she was getting better, like someone here said, but my point is i would never leave my own mother alone after an operation that stopped her heart and she had high blood pressure and didn't even want to be in that hospital and she's 77 and suffering from many other ailments, it just seems to me that so they don't regret it the rest of their lives afterwards, they could have afforded round the clock care. The woman left 22 million, she didn't need to rely on her insurance or anything.

That Other Fan
09-03-2003, 11:01 PM
Originally posted by SPLAIN
That Other Fan, wether you like it or not my snide remark was stolen from Paula Stewart and many others who knew that cheapskate

I direct your attention to the thread on this board entitled "What is everyone's Problem With Gary.” In that thread we found out that different people have different opinions on events that take place. Hell, if we were to take some of Lee's word (or insinuations....) as the complete truth, perhaps we should assume that Paula Stewart was nothing more than another "leach" in Lucy's life. However, we then must take into consideration the little "problem" they had. A problem that caused Lee to be banished from Lucy's life for more than a year. Looking closer at the situation; were some of Lee's more "scandalous" comments about Paula influenced by their "issue" or were those his honest, unbiased opinions of his memories involving Paula?

Something else we learned in that thread...there are two sides to every story.

Therefore, my original point holds true. Snide remarks aside, said person is not available to clear his name, therefore we've gotta take everything with a huge grain of salt.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Trudy a private nurse (Hence, the nickname "Trudy ArcudiPrivateDuty"). In one book it claims she was there with Lucy (I forget which), in Lee's book he says that she had left only a few hours earlier to get some "much needed" rest, at her home.

Either someone was there or the situation was just so unexpected (as she was improving) that unfortunately no one was there...at that exact moment. Whatever the case, I see no need for the "blame game". Especially, in this circumstance.

onlyonelucy
09-03-2003, 11:20 PM
I am not going to get into detail but from hearing with my own 2 ears from people who knew Lucy VERY well and Gary too........the man didn't give 2 cents about her. He saw $$ signs when he met her and fed her the line that he'd never seen an episode of "I Love Lucy". C'mon, people in Africa see it and he didn't? I don't buy it. I have always had my suspiscions (sp?) about the man and they were confirmed. Not many people care for him that knew him and then again there are those who did like him. Personally I think he didn't care if Lucy got better or not, sad to say ohno:

dawsongirl
09-04-2003, 02:57 AM
Originally posted by onlyonelucy
He saw $$ signs when he met her and fed her the line that he'd never seen an episode of "I Love Lucy". C'mon, people in Africa see it and he didn't? I don't buy it.

I always wondered about that. It just seems...bizarre. Stores closed on Monday nights so people could watch ILL, but he hadn't seen it? Where the hell was he, the North Pole??

Wait, maybe he was perfecting his comedy act...no...can't be...he wasn't funny.

Mickey
09-04-2003, 04:05 AM
Maybe he just didn't like it?! Not everybody does, you know...

Lodee
09-04-2003, 07:27 AM
He fed her the line that he'd never seen an episode of "I Love Lucy". C'mon, people in Africa see it and he didn't? I don't buy it Yeah, I don't believe that either. TV had what, like 3 channels back then? How could you NOT see it?

Mickey
09-04-2003, 07:40 AM
Not everybody had TVs though; not then. There was a lot of snootiness about it. People would want to be seen as book readers, or theatre goers, rather than 'the sort of people who watch television'. It was a backlash to the time when only the very rich could afford TV - once everybody could, the rich and the stuck up didn't want it! There was also a big group of people who had always relied on the cinema, and took a long time to adjust.

SPLAIN
09-04-2003, 08:25 AM
Hello, Mr Snide here, how you all doinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? Listen Other fan, i was where you are today at one point, defending Gary all the time telling people, you have to be fair, they spent 28 years together, he gave her stability and calm after the turbulent Desi years, and i would also ad that Lucy was no picnic to live with, she banished Lee for a year because he screamed like an idiot and had a fit in her presence that terrified her and Paula, but she took him back eventually. Yes, he seems anti Gary, and being pro Lucie, i now debate some things mentionned in the book. The thing is i too, like Sherry have heard from many insiders how all was not perfect in Lucyland at the end. Paula has said so in print in the Talk article and is rumored to be writing a book, i wish she would, so if we piece it all together, we can finally get the true picture. Hey, i invented the there's always two sides to every story remark, and use it all the time, but Gary hastened the end of her career, lashed on to her in the best Sid Luft tradition and was on easy street from then on. However, i have to feel for the guy when i read things like Milton Berle answering him when Gary told Berle to lighten up, so Berle answers, listen you, what did you ever direct that your wife didn't arrange for you. Things like that are horrible, then again, he had an easy life because he entered that world, and the way he treated her might have reflected on some of the behavior she exhibited also, but i will never forget his many actions over the years, putting his golf ahead of her career and more importantly her health and happiness. And dollar signs for Life with Lucy eclipsing her stature in the world of television. And dating weeks after she died, and many other things. The only things i allow for are the relationship he had with her kids and the 28 years of holding her hand and at least she died showing her contemporaries she still had a man at the end of HER life. Proving that her ultimate failure with her earlier marriage wasn't her fault in the public's eyes. Maybe that was more important for her than admitting Gary was not that great for her, especially at the end, would a 77 year old sick and tired woman go through all that at that stage of her life or would the publicity and image concious woman take it and shut up, i think we know the answer to that one.

That Other Fan
09-04-2003, 01:57 PM
Originally posted by SPLAIN
Hello, Mr Snide here, how you all doinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?


Hello Mr. Snide, I'm great, what a lovely day....

Signed,

That Other Fan


The thing is i too, like Sherry have heard from many insiders how all was not perfect in Lucyland at the end.

And I'm pretty sure there are "insiders" with a favorable opinion of Gary at the end (Two rather close insiders especially)...why?

Say it with me....

Two sides to every story, people see things differently.

What to one person is this "Horrible thing Gary did to Lucy" to another maybe "Well you have to understand why Gary did that, and Lucy told me she understood completely because she felt that....blah, blah, blah"

Again, your favortie quote and mine..."Two sides to every story"



Paula has said so in print in the Talk article and is rumored to be writing a book, i wish she would, so if we piece it all together, we can finally get the true picture.

You can get a better understanding of certain things, but you’ll never get the “the whole story” or the “the full story,” because the individuals in question are no longer around to give it to you (or us).

Hey, i invented the there's always two sides to every story remark, and use it all the time, but Gary hastened the end of her career,

He got Lucy involved with LWL, which in retrospect was a mistake. Therefore, yes he was made some bad decisions. However, he did not end her career. She could’ve bounced back had she wanted to, unfortunately, the desire was no longer there. She had offers after that (One that instantaneously springs to mind is “Driving Miss Daisy”. If memory serves, she was one of the individuals the producers wanted, she could have “campaigned” to do it, but she didn’t want the part...)



However, i have to feel for the guy when i read things like Milton Berle answering him when Gary told Berle to lighten up, so Berle answers, listen you, what did you ever direct that your wife didn't arrange for you.Things like that are horrible

You've forgotten a few vital points of that quote.

The comment in it's entirety...

"Milton was still general in charge, towel around his neck and whistle blowing for attention. Gary turned to me as we sat in the [studio] bleachers and said, "Want to see me get Milton's goat?" He yelled at Milton, "Hey, Uncle Miltie, why don't you relax and let everyone do their jobs?" Berle saw red, and came over to where we were sitting to yell at Gary. "And what did you ever, son of a bitch, that your wife didn't arrange for?" he screamed. I just shrunk in my seat as these two went at it right in my ear. I tried to sink into the floor. They continued their shouting match until Gary had enough. "Miltie, go back to yelling at everyone else," [Morton] chuckled, and as Milton walked away Gary just laughed at how he'd gotten to him."

Obviously, Gary wasn't to bothered by their exchange. He probably expected it, which is why he laughed, as he had "gotten to Milton."

putting his golf ahead of her career and more importantly her health and happiness.


Lucy didn’t want to work anymore. Most of the offers she got, she turned down...

How did he put golf ahead of her health and happiness?

And dollar signs for Life with Lucy eclipsing her stature in the world of television.

Question.

Are you saying he put money before Lucy’s best interest with LWL?

How?

i think we know the answer to that one.

We can hypothesize/guess, but we don’t know the answer to that one. If there truly were “issues” toward the end other than, “Gary made some bad business decisions”, we don’t know what Lucy would have done, but time did not permit that.

Inconclusion, most of this belongs in the thread "What is everyone's problem with Gary"

1 - Because it would increase the post total of my thread lol

2 - That topic actually deals with all of this, and has been addressed as well.

SPLAIN
09-04-2003, 02:28 PM
After Life with Lucy, Lucy had this play she wanted to do, a homeless woman, you know, Apple Annie, but the dutiful manager hubby was not going to stay in New York for six months and miss his beloved golf, the true love of his life, so he convinced her not to that one and instead do Stone Pillow which nearly killed her. He married a golf pro, good for him, at least that one didn't mind the golfing all the time. And Eva Gabor gave up on dating him when she realized she had to take a back seat to golf. I wonder if he was buried with those clubs? Lucy wanted to work till the end of her life. That's why she did the Hope specials and lived for his invitations, he asked her for one last one but she died before she could do it. Even after the people are gone, it's still something that can be discussed by the people around them who saw the actions of both. You know, like the people at Sinatra's house who heard him knock her after she was gone, so why aren't we allowed the same privilege? I felt the exact same way as you until people woke me up to the actual facts. I try and be fair, but this one is a very lopsided argument.

That Other Fan
09-04-2003, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by SPLAIN
After Life with Lucy, Lucy had this play she wanted to do, a homeless woman, you know, Apple Annie, but the dutiful manager hubby was not going to stay in New York for six months and miss his beloved golf, the true love of his life, so he convinced her not to that one and instead do Stone Pillow which nearly killed her.


It was before LWL. Part of the reason she was offered LWL is because of the high ratings for "Stone Pillow". It was because of that play, which never happened, that Lucy herself wanted to do "Stone Pillow".

Yes, Gary did not want move to NY as apparently he hated it there (according to Lee anyway, and no I'm not trying to discredit him), but Lucy was "enthused" to do it, and it was not because of his "dread" of moving east that shelved that project. What shelved that project was the financial backer. They were unwilling to back Lucy for even a limited run because of what happened with "Wildcat" and the concerns about whether, at her age, she was up for such a strenuous routine (doing the show eight times a week). Their concerns were greater than the fact that "Lucy's return to broadway", would've have been a solid seller.

Sidenote: Something I noticed upon reviewing Lee's book, he claims Gary campaigned hard for Lucy to do "Driving Miss Daisy", but it went to Jessica Tandy. This points to what I said in an earlier post, about taking things with a grain of salt. In a few other books it claims she was considered for the role, but she simply didn't want the part.

And Eva Gabor gave up on dating him when she realized she had to take a back seat to golf.

Eva actually commented on her “relationship” with Gary?

dawsongirl
09-04-2003, 04:14 PM
Originally posted by Mickey
Maybe he just didn't like it?! Not everybody does, you know...

I didn't say he had to like it...but I've seen plenty of shows that I didn't like.

Mickey
09-04-2003, 05:09 PM
Yes, but you see ten minutes of a show, you don't enjoy it, you don't bother watching again, you maybe forget about it. I don't know. I didn't even know Gary's name till I started coming to this place. I really don't know a single thing about the guy, except that Lucy seemed to be in love with him, at least once upon a time. I tend to stick up for him from time to time though, because I know what a rabid lot Lucy fans are! And given how some people like to put Desi down - in my opinion unfairly - I'm inclined to be a little dubious about some of these Gary opinions!

But like I said, I don't know anything about the guy - or what he did and didn't watch on TV!

SPLAIN
09-05-2003, 09:07 AM
Listen, i forgive Desi lots of things because he protected her and guided her and knew how to present her, and he was the love of her life. Same with Gary, he gave her 28 years of security and hand holding and she felt protected again and she verbally abused him and was tough on him, so i allow for all that, but i agree with you on one thing OtherLucyFan, Lee's book did not paint him in a good light. Yes Eva was quoted as saying those things about him. And Driving Miss Daisy finally might have gotten her that Oscar, but it didn't matter anyway, as she died before the Oscar went to Tandy in the Spring of '90. It was a combination of Lee's book and then those insiders talking about the fact that they were unhappy together at the end, such a sad ending to a great life.

LUCILLE BALL
09-09-2003, 05:42 PM
Well I will come clean and admit that at one time I was adammit about defending the man and a big Gary supporter, I am usually a good judge of character, now I have completely changed my opinions of what I thought of him, just because I know his only intensions for Lucy were badly in vein...for himself. He didn't give two figs about her later on. He wasn't there taking care of her when she had her stroke and mild heart attack, as a matter of fact, he knew she had high blood pressure and wasn't supposed to have too high of a sodium intake and what does he do, he pushes (that isn't the word I want to use) her to have salty foods. He didn't want her family or old friends in her life. Later on when she was at home he would go to the golf clubs and fancy restaurants with his cronies and bad mouth Lucy. It didn't tak him long to start dating again after Lucy died, I mean damn the woman wasn't even cold yet, she was as fresh out of the oven as a Krispy Kreme doughnut than he was already on a date. His family sponged off of her, his mother even sponged off Lucy the way he did. Lucy was adammit about wanting to do ANOTHER series, all her friends were dead and retired, Desi her friend advisor and teh love of her life were gone, her mother was gone, and she was heavily depressed, despite her saying NO!!!! he made end runs around her and ta da Lucy is back in a series, not even a really great show, and she was in ill health, after Stone Pillow, her health was very deteriorated, she had high blood pressure, heart condition you name it, she probably had it, but he pushed her to do that show, because it meant a fat salary for
him. Oh and that story about the prenup.....that doesn't mean a thing. Paper is cheap. Cheap Talk doesn't mean a thing.

And yes I agree....I am sure even a Monk in an isolated Monistary has heard about I Love Lucy, It was the highest rated show of the era, most advertised, and Lucy was all over the cover, gimme a break, he wasn't that successful as a comedian, the BS about being in the Borsht Belt....not too many people have ever heard of him....there are Lucy Fans that have never even heard of him. He couldn't have been all taht busy that he had not heard of Lucy or I love Lucy. Pulllease. Break out the wedge because the sand trap is falling kinda deep dontcha think???

onlyonelucy
09-09-2003, 09:41 PM
Originally posted by dawsongirl
I always wondered about that. It just seems...bizarre. Stores closed on Monday nights so people could watch ILL, but he hadn't seen it? Where the hell was he, the North Pole??


EXACTLY! You hit the nail on the head girl!!!!:wave:

onlyonelucy
09-09-2003, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by LUCILLE BALL
she was as fresh out of the oven as a Krispy Kreme doughnut

No you DIDN'T use THAT choice of words! Oh Lord, I think I'm going to faint........:faint:

bweir
09-09-2003, 10:59 PM
Yes Jen, you have gone to a new level of creativity.

SPLAIN
09-10-2003, 09:46 AM
Yes even the unshockable Claude was taken aback by that one, BUT, everything else she said was RIGHT ON!

onlyonelucy
09-10-2003, 04:55 PM
Unshockable Claude omg:

SPLAIN
09-11-2003, 07:59 AM
That's my name, don't wear it out!

onlyonelucy
09-11-2003, 04:27 PM
I wonder if Jen even realized what she said. Lord, I hope not.

LUCILLE BALL
09-11-2003, 08:21 PM
Well now that you have brought it to my attention I have.

Well I will use that old cliche' "It sounded like a good idea at the time"

I guess I was trying to come up with my own little metaphoric analogy or euphymysm like they do down here, but I guess it din't come out too good.I guess it it is true what they say you can a person out of the north but can't take the north out of the person.LOL J/K
Usually we are too busy sitting at our credenzas drinking our soda pops, vaccuuming our "furtiles, or driving into Ralleigh on our electrolytes.
Don't try to figua this out y'all ...this is a cute little private joke between OnlyOneLucy and Myself.;) [winks at OOL]
I am just being my usual smart allic self.

I guess I was tired at the time I was writing that.....You knwo me, once I get on a roll it is hard for me to stop, and I am liable to say
ANYTHING
then again sometimes I cannot help my weird, but unique sense of creativity.

MagsLovesLucy
09-11-2003, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by LUCILLE BALL
Well now that you have brought it to my attention I have.

Well I will use that old cliche' "It sounded like a good idea at the time"

I guess I was trying to come up with my own little metaphoric analogy or euphymysm like they do down here, but I guess it din't come out too good.I guess it it is true what they say you can a person out of the north but can't take the north out of the person.LOL J/K
Usually we are too busy sitting at our credenzas drinking our soda pops, vaccuuming our "furtiles, or driving into Ralleigh on our electrolytes.
Don't try to figua this out y'all ...this is a cute little private joke between OnlyOneLucy and Myself.;) [winks at OOL]
I am just being my usual smart allic self.

I guess I was tired at the time I was writing that.....You knwo me, once I get on a roll it is hard for me to stop, and I am liable to say
ANYTHING
then again sometimes I cannot help my weird, but unique sense of creativity.

It was a creative, analogy, just a little shocking to read at first, LOL. :)

SPLAIN
09-12-2003, 07:20 AM
Been there, done that, got the T shirt!:lol: