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Quotes

[Fred holds his chest as if he's having a heart attack.]
Fred: Oh, this is the biggest one I ever had! You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey!

Lamont: You're a dirty old man, ya hear that?
Fred: And I'm gonna be one until I'm a dead old man!

Fred: I ain't afraid to give you one across the lips!

Fred: I still want to sow some wild oats!
Lamont: At your age, you don't have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat!

Fred: You are so ugly that if you pressed your face in some dough... you'd have gorilla cookies.

Fred: You just dumb, son. You just dumb.


More Quotes coming soon! If you have any to submit, please send them to todd-sanfordandson@sitcomsonline.com!