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Quotes

Sam: You are the nuttiest, the stupidest, the phoniest fruitcake I ever met!
D
iane: You Sam Malone are the most arrogant self centered...
Sam: Shut your fat mouth!
D
iane: Make me!!
Sam: Make you.. My God I'm, I'm gonna, I'm GONNA BOUNCE YOU OFF EVERY WALL IN THIS OFFICE!!
D
iane: Try it and you'll be walking funny tomorrow... Or should I say funnier.
Sam: You know, You know I always wanted to pop you one! Maybe this is my lucky day, huh?
D
iane: You disgust me! I hate you!
Sam: Are you as turned on as I am?
D
iane: More!

Sam: Coach, we don't want to be bothered.
C
oach: Who does?!

C
arla: I cannot let any man touch me, talk to me, or see me, or I'll be shooting out kids like a pez dispenser.

Diane:
Oh Sam, I have wonderful plans for every room in the entire house.
Sam: That's funny so do I. Why don't we start right here in the living room. These floors look like they could use a little polishing.

Sam: Carla was complaining that she missed out on all that teenage stuff, you know homecoming, proms. What if we do something to take her back to her teen years?
Rebecca: Like get her pregnant?
Cliff: Nah. That's been done to death.

Rebecca: How could you take advantage of a lonely, older woman like that?
Sam: Ohhh... sweetheart... When the lights go out, everybody is the same age and NOBODY is lonely.

Cliff: Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army Knife. That's why no one messes with Switzerland.

Cliff: It's pathetic. You'll never catch a woman of mine leading me around by the nose.
Carla: No, but you might catch her sunning herself on a rock.

Diane: Sometimes there is no pleasure in conquest!
Sam: Yeah, I haven't forgotten our first night together, either.

Norm: I want something light and cold.
Carla: Sorry, it's Diane's day off.

Diane: They kissed?
Coach: Yeah, I saw them smooch in the parking lot. I was putting up a notice there on the bulletin board.
Diane: With probing tongues?
Coach: No Diane, with a thumb tack.

Rebecca: I know you have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority.
Sam: Whoa, wait a minute. I resent that. I've never had trouble with a woman in ANY position.

Sam: Yeah, well at least I didn't fly across the country to make an ass out of myself.
Diane: Why bother, when you do it so brilliantly right here?

Sam: OK, I admit it. I'm not a sad guy, I'm a happy, horny guy.

Coach: It's the damnedest thing, I've been shivering all of the way over here.
Diane: Well Coach you don't have a coat on. It's thirty degrees outside.
Coach: Oh, thank God. I thought I had malaria.

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