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Old 11-14-2003, 03:44 PM   #1
Rickenbacker
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Talking White Lies Your Parents Told You

Man, some of the things they'll say just to shut you up or they're too tired to answer!

I remember as a kid I *Loved* the 'Planet of The Apes' movies. I was about in 1st grade & one day I asked my father what planet the apes came from. (cause I wanted to become an astronaut to go see the apes, of course!) ..... He said "Pluto." I totally bought it. I even tried to make myself a rocket that would fit me in it!

Thanks dad.
 
Old 11-14-2003, 06:28 PM   #2
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Default My mom

Before I was old enough to shave my mom told me that if I shave my hair will grow back black which isn't true unless you have black hair to begin with LOL
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Old 11-14-2003, 06:29 PM   #3
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My Mom told me that if I ate a watermelon seed, i would grow a tree in my stomach
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Old 11-14-2003, 06:47 PM   #4
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When I was younger, I used to want to be on TV so bad. So I asked my mom if I could be famous. She told me that I was already in a commercial when I was a baby, which isn't true...

And one time when i was about 5, I killed a bug and white stuff came out of it. My sister said it was maynaise...I stoped eating mayo for like 4 years...
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Old 11-14-2003, 06:55 PM   #5
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One time on Christmas Eve, I was at a restaurant with my dad picking up food to take home. All of a sudden, Santa came in the room we were in and went "HO HO HO! IS THERE AN AMY IN HERE?" and I was like "Uhh...." and kinda died. Then he was all asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a Sky Dancer (you know those things that flew when you pulled the string...yeah I was little) and he said he had one for me in his sleigh.

Now, for years I was still wondering how Santa knew who I was.

Until last year when my dad told me he had gone to the bathroom, peed with Santa, and asked him to come make a big scene for me. Thanks Dad.
 
Old 11-14-2003, 06:58 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by TradingMooses
One time on Christmas Eve, I was at a restaurant with my dad picking up food to take home. All of a sudden, Santa came in the room we were in and went "HO HO HO! IS THERE AN AMY IN HERE?" and I was like "Uhh...." and kinda died. Then he was all asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a Sky Dancer (you know those things that flew when you pulled the string...yeah I was little) and he said he had one for me in his sleigh.

Now, for years I was still wondering how Santa knew who I was.

Until last year when my dad told me he had gone to the bathroom, peed with Santa, and asked him to come make a big scene for me. Thanks Dad.

 
Old 11-14-2003, 07:09 PM   #7
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Oh Jesus- that Santa one reminded me of another. Except I think this one was kinda mean & falls closer to "Baldface Lie" than a white lie.

One Xmas, I spent the night at our next door neighbor's who had 2 kids my age. On Xmas morning, I went home & my father told me that SANTA had stopped by to last night to hello! He did the whole act. Said Santa went to my room, shook my bed covers, said my name several times...but I wasn't home. I thought I was gonna die. He said "Santa Claus just gave up & said 'Ahh weeell...' & left.
You blew it, son."


Thanks again, dad.
 
Old 11-14-2003, 07:21 PM   #8
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Apparently, according to my Mother, our family's disinformation officer, pinching someone gives them Cancer.

Actually from what she told me growing up, every thing pretty much gave you cancer.

Boy, I can't wait until she reads the book I'm working on...

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Old 11-14-2003, 07:47 PM   #9
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When I asked my mother how babies came out she only told me that "God provides an opening" Naturally, seeing my Mom's big tummy several times I thought that the baby popped out through her stomach!(this was the 50's , mind you!) So I really never knew better until well into my teens! But I told my own daughter the real story story when she was about 10 years old But she told me later that I was TOO graphic! So what does one do?
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Old 11-14-2003, 07:48 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by TJL
Apparently, according to my Mother, our family's disinformation officer, pinching someone gives them Cancer.

Actually from what she told me growing up, every thing pretty much gave you cancer.

Boy, I can't wait until she reads the book I'm working on...

 
Old 11-14-2003, 08:11 PM   #11
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When I was 4, I asked my mom how babies got inside a woman's stomach. She told me that the doctors had a pill that they gave you that made the baby grow, a bottle of girls, and a bottle of boys.

Yeah... needless to say, that last until about kindergarten when my friends told me the real thing...
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Old 11-15-2003, 10:51 AM   #12
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i was being real bad one day when i was lie 4 or 5 and my moms like cara be good or im calling santa and i just kept on doin whatever i was doin so she picked up the phone and im like no no and i started crying then she gave me the phone and i was talkin to "santa" and he told me to be good or i wouldnt get any presents...then like a couple years ago i asked my mom who she called and said was santa n she said she dont remember.she thinks my uncle

another one was when she lied to my brother because he was lik 10 and he wanted to stay home on christmas and not go to my grandmas so my mom was like i will get arrested if you stay home on christmas and we beleeved her then i asked her this year and she started laughing really hard and said she wouldnt get arrested
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My Sisters Birthday:Karaoking,getting drunk late on at the little field, running from the cops

The Foofanoo Night: Getting drunk and goin to the foof,takin our shirts off and running down the alley, stealin garbage cans, pissin under the street light, stealin louies beers and breakin his cooler.

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The Last Couple Weeks in Augustur drunkin serious talks,planning to go to church,walkin to the elementary school,pinning.
 
Old 11-15-2003, 12:41 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by TradingMooses
Until last year when my dad told me he had gone to the bathroom, peed with Santa, and asked him to come make a big scene for me. Thanks Dad.

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Old 11-15-2003, 12:55 PM   #14
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They told me that talking back to people and giving them a taste of their own medicine would get people that are annoying me off my back. I did that when I was in the 1st grade and I told a kid off but I got into huge trouble and my parents sided with the teacher instead of me and when I got home, I got a spanking!! Hey, it was either that or be grounded for a long period of time. Also, they told me about Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny but then when I was 11, they told me the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy aren't real and I figured it out myself that Santa wasn't real, of course, at all!!
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Old 11-16-2003, 02:00 AM   #15
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My mom got pregnant when I was 5 1/2 years old. I had no idea what was happening and my parents didn't bother to tell me (either because they were protecting me or because they knew i wanted to be an only child for the rest of my life). i asked my mom why her tummy was so big lately and why she had trouble sitting down. she said she had gained weight. oh man, that is not what happened at all. it was really weird and i hate the fact that they didn't tell me, but i understand it as well. next time my mom got pregnant, i knew the signs.
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