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|07-31-2003, 08:53 PM||#1|
Join Date: Feb 19, 2003
Location: New York
Ok, I'm new at this whole fanfiction thing...but this idea kinda sorta just popped into my head and so I figured why not type it here. It's not a series or anything,though. So anyway, if it sucks let me know
(just to give you an idea what it's about first, Janet and Jack are married with two kids, Jackie (who's 5) and Jason (who's 7). Jack takes the kids away to a theme park alone because Janet can't go because of work. Chrissy calls later to ask if she can stay there and they both get kidnapped)
Jack: Ok, Janet, are you sure you can't go to Kidland with us?
Janet: Yeah, Jack, there's no one else available this weekend and Tina,that jerk, would fire me in a second if I didn't show up.
Jack: Well, alright, but don't yell at me if one of the kids gets lost!
Jackie: Yeah, mommy, he's gonna lose us.
Janet *laughs* He won't lose you. Ohhh, I'm gonna miss you guys!
*They all agree and hug and kiss before leaving, Janet decides she needs to say goodbye one more time and opens the door back up*
Jack: *They are all still at the door and Jack imitates Janet* Ohhh, I'm gonna miss you!
*They all hug once more and Jack, Jackie and Jason leave*
Janet wanted to open the door again but decided she was going to have to get used to being without them for a few days.
Chrissy: Janet! Hey, it's me Chrissy!
Janet: Chrissy! Oh it's so great to hear your voice again! I havn't seen you in months.
Chrissy: Oh, I know. Say, Janet, um...I was in town and I was kinda sorta wondering, well...could I maybe stay with you and Jack? I know you got the kids,but I could sleep on the couch. It'll be fine.
Janet: Oh, Chrissy, no problem. Jack is away with the kids alone at Kidland because I coudn't go, so you could use their room.
Chrissy: Oh, I was kind of looking forward to seeing them. Ah,well. I'll be over in...10 seconds.
Janet: Ten seconds? Chrissy, where are you?
Chrissy: Downstairs in Mr. Furley's apartment. I knew you'd let me stay, but I just decided to call anyway.
Janet: Oh...well, ok. Come on up.
[scence--Apartment 201, middle of the night]
*there's a knock at the door*
*Janet comes out half asleep to answer the door*
Janet: Y-yeah? *yawns*
Robber: This is a hold-up. Give me all your stuff.
Janet: But I---
Robber: Hey, don't talk back to me. Give me all your valuables, and make it speedy.
*Chrissy comes out of the other bedroom yawning*
Chrissy: What's going on out here?
Janet: This guy...he's trying to rob us!
Chrissy: Well...then that's pretty pathetic *she points to him*
Robber: Hey, hey, hey now lady. I may not be built like Tom Cruise, but I'm not completely ugly.
*this makes Janet laugh...because he is*
Chrissy: No, no. That's not what I meant. You don't have a mask on.
Chrissy: So when you leave, we can call the cops and explain what you look like. Jeez, am I the only one with brains around here or what?
Janet: *sarcastically* Oh good one, Chrissy.
Robber: Dammit, that's true. Crap...now I'm gonna have to steal your stuff, AND kidnap ya.
Janet and Chrissy: Kidnap us?!?!
Janet: You can't kidnap us! I um, um...listen...you can have all of my money if you just leave.
Robber: Yeah, right. Now come on, I'm gonna have to tie you's up and tape your mouths shut...I won't,like, kill ya or anything...I just can't let you tell on me.
[scence--Robber's cellar. It seems Chrissy and Janet were knocked out and they're just coming to]
Chrissy: *sniffs* smells down here.
Janet: Yeah, no kidding. We gotta find a way to get out of here.
Robber: I'm afraid you can't do that. See that around your hand? That's rope. And see me right here? I'm fat. So I assure you, you're not going anywhere for a long time.
Chrissy: Man, you're a creep. What's your name anyway...Creep?
Robber: Actually, my name's Bison...Big Barry Bison. I added in the "Big", self explanatory.
Chrissy: Ohhh...I get it...like, you're big and hairy just like a bison.
Big Barry Bison: No...I'm just big. I'm not hairy.
Chrissy: *holds back a laugh* Oh, no. Of course you're not...*giggles*... I mean, of course you're not hairy!
[scene--Apartment 201, two days later]
*The door opens and Jack and the kids come through*
Jack: Hello? Janet? We're home!
*no one answers, obviously*
Jason: *screams loudly* Mom??? Where are you?
Jack: Eh...don't worry about it. She's probably just out at the grocery store or something. She knows we're coming back today, she'll be home any minute now.
*five hours later*
Jack: *delirious with worry* Yup, any minute now...she's just out at the grocery store. That's all.
Jackie: Aw, dammit, mommy's dead somewheres! *runs to her room*
Jack: *calls out to her in her room* No she's, she's not dead. She's just at the grocery store...and, and don't swear!
Jason: Dad, you butthead, no one goes to the store for five hours. I mean, I don't even know what five hours is, ya know, being that I'm only seven, but I know that's a long time.
Jack: *finally giving in* I know! You're right! I gotta call the missing persons number.
Jack:*crazy with nervousness* Yeah, missing persons? I mean, you're not the missing persons. I meant you're the missing persons that looks for--I mean, I GOTTA REPORT A MISSING PERSON!
[scene--Big Barry Bison's cellar*]
*everyone's obviously bored out of they're minds*
Chrissy: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes!
Janet: *with Chrissy still singing in the backround, turns to Big Barry Bison who is going half crazy and is staring at the ceiling cross-eyed* Look, mister, I don't know WHO you are and I don't really care. I promise we will NOT metion anything about this if you just PULLEAASSE let us go...*Chrissy sings louder* I JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!
Chrissy: *as soon as Janet says hell she immediately stops singing and makes a face* Janet!!! You shouldn't say hell, that's a bad word!
Janet: Chrissy, you just said it.
Chrissy: Well, yeah, that's different. I was just saying what I was saying because I was saying how you were saying what you were saying, ya know what I'm saying?
Janet: *realizes Big Barry Bison never really DID wake up out of his trance* I can't believe this. I'm gonna die here. I'm gonna die, with this smelly old guy, in this smelly old basement, and Chrissy. Why didn't I just go to Kidland?
Chrissy: Aw, don't worry Janet. We're not gonna die. Come on, sing with me. Ready? My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R! Come on, try it!
Janet: Aw, what the heck, if you can't beat the bad guy, join Chrissy...my bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R!
Jack: Yeah, she's really short and stuff...and she's got dark brown hair and um...she's been missing for like five whole hours...I mean, that's a long ya know? Five, uh, hours? I mean, come on...
Jason: Dad, you do know they hung up on you like ten minutes ago because they said five hours doesn't mean a person is missing?
Jack: *ignores him* I mean, this is Janet we're talking about...what does she have to do for five hours?
Jason: *screams* DAD, YOU BUTTHEAD, THEY HUNG UP!
Jack: Could you excuse me for a second missing people? Ok, thanks. Jason, could you quiet it down I'm trying to talk on the phone.
Jason: *just stares at him* This is great, not only is my mommy missing...but my dad's gone crazy.
*Jackie comes out of the room with tears in her eyes and her teddy bear*
Jackie: *sniffs* Mr. Teddy says that he wants to use the phone.
Jason: What do you gotta use the phone for?
Jackie: Did I not say Mr. Teddy Bear? HE needs to. He wants to call this number.
Jack: Hold on a second. Jackie, what is that?
Jackie: Phone number. It was on the floor and I took it into the bedroom with me.
Jack: Let me see that. *reads* Big Barry, call me 555-2548. You're hot, and I want to marry you.*stops reading* What is this? Jackie, you don't have a boyfriend do you?
Jackie: Daddy, that's discusting.
Jason: Why don't you call it and see who it is?
Jack: I will not! Who knows who it might be? I mean, this wasn't given to us...it must be your *just realizes what it said* mo-o-o-other's. OH MY GOD! Janet's cheating on me!
Jason: Nah, mommy wouldn't cheat on you...er...call the number.
Jack: I'll call the number. *calls*
[scene--Big Barry's cellar]
*Chrissy and Janet are asleep and Big Barry is dead er somthing*
Janet: *is woken up by the phone ringing upstairs* Chrissy? Chrissy? *Chrissy doesn't wake up* CHRISSY!!!!
Chrissy:*wakes up* What???
Janet: The phone upstairs, it's ringing.
Chrissy: So...it's probably just some other creep ringing this creep right here.
Janet: Actually, Chrissy, I think he's dead. You must of annoyed him to death.
*phone is still ringing*
Chrissy: Man, they won't give up. Maybe we should go upstairs and answer the phone.
Janet: Gee, Chrissy, that'd be a good idea...*screams* IF WE WEREN'T TIED UP IN ROPES!!!
Chrissy: Jeez, Janet, calm down. At least we're not dead like Hairy Barry over there.
Janet: *sigh* Oh, Chrissy, you're right. It's just, we're stuck down here with no way to get out and the truth is I'm just a little scared.
Chrissy: Yeah, I understand. *she sighs*
*phone is actually still ringing*
Chrissy: You know, since Hairy Barry over there is dead, and seeing as we can still walk even though we're tied to chairs...I figure maybe we could just walk up the stairs.
Janet: How are we going to do that?
Chrissy: Like this *gets up with butt still on chair, because of the ropes that have her tied down*
Janet: Oh, Chrissy, you're a genius!
Chrissy: *rolls her eyes* and you're just figuring that out now?
Janet: Nevermind that, Chrissy, let's get out of here!
Chrissy: *looks over at Big Barry Bison* He's not breathing or anything is he? Because he could still be alive, just really, really tired.
Janet: *goes over to Big Bary Bison and kicks him as best she can while still on the chair* Nah, he's dead. Now, come on.
*phone is still ringing*
Chrissy:*at the top of the stairs* Man, who IS that?
Janet: I don't know...should we answer it?
Chrissy: I don't know. What if it's just another creep and he comes over here?
Janet: Well...we could just answer it, we don't have to say who we are.
Chrissy: Well, ok, but you do it.
Janet: Oh, alright. *answers phone* Um, hello?
Jack: *on phone* Janet? Ok, Janet, I know you're cheating on me. And that's not the main reason I'm mad, you didn't even tell us--
Janet: Cheating on you? Why would I be cheating on you? I was kidnapped for God sakes.
Janet: Yeah, Chrissy and I both the night you left.
Jack: What in the---how did this happen? Nevermind that, where ARE you?
Janet: I don't,uh, exactly know. We were sort of knocked out before we got here. We could be in New York for all I know.
Jack:Well, um, ask somebody then.
Janet: Ask somebody? Who am I gonna ask? Chrissy and I are standing...er...sitting here tied to chairs!
Jack:Well where's this Barry jerk?
Janet: He's...uh...he's downstairs dead.
Jack: You KILLED him???
Janet: Actually, I think Chrissy did in a way. But forget that, we need to get out of here...
Chrissy: Janet, look a knife.
Jack:Who was that? Who's got a knife,I'll kill 'em.
Janet:No, Jack, Chrissy's got one!
Jack: Don't let Chrissy play with knives that's dangerous!
Janet: No, we're gonna cut ourselves loose!
Chrissy: There I'm loose.
Janet: Ok, now me.
Jack: Are you guys unchaired?
Janet: Yeah, Jack. Now we just have to find a way home.
Jack: Take a bus!
Janet: Good idea. Bye!
[scence--Apartment 201 later that day]
Janet: So Chrissy kept singing...and so I think that killed him.
Chrissy: Janet, I killed someone! Oh no, that's awful!
Jack: No, Chrissy, that's good.
Chrissy:* in discust* Jack, you're terrible.
Jack: Chrissy don't you realized that if you would've shut up, you'd still be in that cellar right now?
Janet: Or worse...
Chrissy: *smiles* Oh, that's true isn't it?
Jason: Why was his number here anyway?
Janet: Um, I don't know, maybe it fell out of his pocket?
Jack: It said, "You're hot and I want to marry you" what was that all about?
Chrissy: It must have fell out of his pocket...probably for his boyfriend.
*they all laugh*
*suddenly there's a knock at the door*
Voice: Open up, it's me, Big Barry.
*everyone looks at each in shock*
John Ritter as Jack Tripper
Joyce DeWitt and Janet Tripper
Jim Belushi as Big Barry Bison
Eric Lloyd as Jason Tripper
Amanda Bynes as Jackie Tripper
If something scares you a little bit, it may mean you should do it.
Last edited by *Pleasant Tomorrow* : 07-31-2003 at 09:06 PM.
|08-04-2003, 09:17 PM||#3|
Join Date: Feb 19, 2003
Location: New York
Kinda just a sample I guess. Maybe I'll come up with better things...
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