Favorite episodes, or Funniest lines? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Brad Russ · 05-15-2002, 09:16 PM

One of the funniest episodes iv'e ever seen was the episode where Martin Mull's character has agoraphobia. I was laughing so hard when he left his house for the first time in twenty some years, and had the misfortune of being the one millionth customer at the store Dorothy took him too. Another funny episode was the one where Sophia made a joke about not having a bowl movement for 10 days. This has probably been asked before, but what are some of your favorite Golden Girls lines, or episodes?

jayman75 · 05-15-2002, 11:18 PM

The ELECTRIC BLANKET episode is a classic... although I'm not sure if this was ever an actual episode or just in one of the "memory" shows.

The girls all pile into Sophia's bed when the heat goes out. Rose forgets to say her prayers....

VOICE: Rose, thanks for the lovely prayer. Now shut up and get into bed....

ROSE: Amen!!

pause a few seconds...

BLANCHE: Nice work, Dorothy.

DOROTHY: It wasn't me.

BLANCHE: Sweet Jesus am I in trouble!! (this line is cut out of Lifetime, but I remember it from the original)

shocolah · 05-19-2002, 05:12 PM

I think my two favorite episodes are when all the girls have the flu (except Sophia) and the one where Dorothy goes out of town for a few days and Sophia sneaks off to Sicily.

Blanche says something how she wishes Sophia was her mother so she could put her in Shady Pines. At the end of the show, Blanche finds out Sophia went to Sicily so there she is riding a mule into the village just like Sophia did around the middle of the show.

Also I always crack up when Rose pretends to be interviewing Dorothy and Sophia rolls up the magazine and pretends it's a camera and Rose brings up how Dorothy has a whole drawer full of retirement home brochures and D. says those times when Ma makes her crazy, she goes to look at them to have some pretend time.

80sTrivia · 05-23-2002, 01:19 PM

There are so many hilarious episodes. My fave episode is when Rose wins St. Olaf's Woman of the Year and all of the girls travel to St. Olaf for the ceremony. When on the rickity plane, a guy jumps out of the airplane with a parachute once the plane flies over his destination!!! Then, when they are travelling in a hay wagon to get to St. Olaf, Rose is reminiscing about her childhood friend, Ingrid. Blanche suggests that Rose call her and Rose shouts out very loudly... "Hey, Ingrid!!!"
And Ingrid responds, yelling: "Is that you Rose?"

That episode has me rolling no matter how many times I've seen it!!!

Superbatboy · 06-04-2002, 11:21 AM

I like the one when Rose and Dorothy are going to enter a song writing contest. And Dorothy says "We could be the next Rogers and Hammerstein, the next Simon and Garfunkel" and then Rose interrupts and says "(I forgot the girl's name) and Lambchop" and then Dorothy goes, "I don't think I can get my hand that far up your dress"..."But for 10,000 dollars I'd be willing to give it a try"

Or later in the same episode when Dorothy realizes Rose added an extra Miami is nice, she scolds Rose. Then Rose says "How about, Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice" Then Dorothy says "Who says thrice???" Betty says "It's a word" Dorothy says "So is intrauterin..... It does not belong in a song" Then Betty plays on the piano "Miami, you're cuter than, and intrauterin"

I had to ask my mom what that word meant...lol.... I laughed REALLY hard the next time I saw that episode.

There's so many funny lines....Oooooh....one more. When Big Daddy was coming to see Blanche and Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia were sitting in the living room talking, and Blanche comes out of her room in a revealing dress and asks "How do I look?" then Sophia looks at her and says "Like the night hostess at Denny's"

pontoon · 06-04-2002, 07:39 PM

...when Rose puts that ad in the 'personal' section of a 'swingers' newspaper.

I'm paraphrasing here...

Blanche: "Why is there a busload of Japanese sailers in the front yard?"

Dorothy: "Rose put an ad in the personal section of a swingers magazine...I'll do ANYTHING for 7 dollars an hour!"

Ya REALLY had to be there,

pontoon

jayman75 · 06-04-2002, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pontoon
...when Rose puts that ad in the 'personal' section of a 'swingers' newspaper.

I'm paraphrasing here...

Blanche: "Why is there a busload of Japanese sailers in the front yard?"

Dorothy: "Rose put an ad in the personal section of a swingers magazine...I'll do ANYTHING for 7 dollars an hour!"

Ya REALLY had to be there,

pontoon

Well, actually, it was:

Blanche: Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front.

(laughter from audience)

Blanche: They want to know how many drakma are in eight dollars?!?

And it was the regular paper, but instead of being in the "employment" column it was the "personals" section.

Not to critique, but just fine-tuning....

Superbatboy · 06-04-2002, 08:10 PM

This episode itself wasn't THAT funny, but this one scene where Blanche is complaining about the guy she's seeing. And she thinks he wants to have a baby right away...oh wait....the scene is in my signature......

Read the third set of lines in my signature....

80sTrivia · 06-06-2002, 02:23 PM

Another witty exchange between the girls occurred when both Rose and Blanche wanted to be on the fashion committee:

Dorothy: "Okay girls. Which goes better, the silver chain or the pearls?"
Rose: "The chain."
Blanche: "An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the many folds of that turkey-like neck?"
Rose: "Well, that may be, but the pearls draw attention to the non-existent bosom."
Blanche: "Yes, but the chain leads the eye even lower, to that huge spare tire jutting out over those square manly hips."
Dorothy: "Why don't I just wear a sign that says too ugly to live?"
Blanche: "Fine. But what are you going to hang it from, the chain or the pearls?"
Dorothy: "Neither! I'm going to spray paint it on my hump!"

The girls always got such pleasure out of making fun of Dorothy's looks...

britt britt · 06-06-2002, 03:53 PM

pontoon · 06-06-2002, 08:20 PM

...since I've seen that episode!

<< Well, actually, it was:

Blanche: Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front.

(laughter from audience)

Blanche: They want to know how many drakma are in eight dollars?!?

And it was the regular paper, but instead of being in the "employment" column it was the "personals" section.

Not to critique, but just fine-tuning.... >>

I was WAY off, wasn't I?

I'll take notes next time!

pontoon

Superbatboy · 06-09-2002, 04:02 AM

Just remembered one more funny one. When the girls go to Atlanta to see Blanche's grandmother's house before it is bulldozed...and they're driving in the car:

Rose: Dorthy dorthy bo borthy, banana fana for forthy, me my mo morthy...dorthy

(Tire Screeching)

Dorothy: Get Out Rose!

Czas na Zywiec · 06-09-2002, 12:52 PM

Hm....These are probably my favorite lines from all the girls.

Sophia
We was po'!
Silly rabbi, Trix are for kids!
Thanks for the medicare........

Dorothy
In what Blanche, dog years?
Get out. (Refering to Rose while on the road to Atlanta)
Blanche, there's a man leaving in 10 minutes. Be under him.

Blanche
Little balls of sunshine in a bag!
I wish I was Sophia's daughter. Then I could put her in Shady Pines.
You mean you died and went to a suburb of heaven?

Rose
Everything was fine until his wife started seeing little peices of Joe's plaid shirt in the corn.
THAT'S WHAT THE CROW SAID!!!!!!!!
Fine. I don't care what you say. (Mumbles)Hypersexual Bitch.

80sTrivia · 06-13-2002, 05:46 PM

Another hilarious episode is when the roof is leaking and in need of repair! Rose has grabbed some towels to help soak up the rain:

Blanche: "Wait! Is that my cabana club beach towel?"
Rose: "Is it the one with the naked man and woman being swept away by the waves?"
Blanche: "Yes. You can't use this towel."
Dorothy: "Blanche, please this is an emergency!"
Blanche: "I'm sorry, but there are far too many happy memories associated with this towel."
Dorothy: "Blanche, I am in no mood to hear about the endless parade of sexual encounters you have experienced up and down the Florida coastline, with nothing but this towel between your hot flesh and the cold, wet sand!"
Blanche: "I brought my baby son Skippy home from the hospital in this towel, Dorothy."
Dorothy: [pauses] "... You're lying, Blanche."
Blanche: "Damn, you're good! But it wasn't up and down the Florida coastline, it was just Fort Lauderdale during Spring Break...."

JPJ · 06-17-2002, 05:08 PM

I don't remember the name of the episode and I tried searching at epguides.com but found it overwhelming.

EDIT: Ok, I found the name of the episode but forgot the number; it's "Dancing in the Dark".

It's the episode where they are all out eating dinner on the back porch and I think Miles is there or some other man.

Someone asks what they're having for dinner and one of the girls replies something with cabbage (I think).

Then Sophia replies, "Cabbage she feeds me...In 10 minutes I'll be skywriting!".
The camera pans to a disgusted Dorothy!!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

05-15-2002, 09:16 PM	#1
Brad Russ Senior Member Archie For President! Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 9,953	Favorite episodes, or Funniest lines? One of the funniest episodes iv'e ever seen was the episode where Martin Mull's character has agoraphobia. I was laughing so hard when he left his house for the first time in twenty some years, and had the misfortune of being the one millionth customer at the store Dorothy took him too. Another funny episode was the one where Sophia made a joke about not having a bowl movement for 10 days. This has probably been asked before, but what are some of your favorite Golden Girls lines, or episodes?

05-15-2002, 11:18 PM	#2
jayman75 Senior Member I Love the 80s! Join Date: Dec 27, 2000 Location: THE GREAT UNITED STATES Posts: 3,496	The ELECTRIC BLANKET episode is a classic... although I'm not sure if this was ever an actual episode or just in one of the "memory" shows. The girls all pile into Sophia's bed when the heat goes out. Rose forgets to say her prayers.... VOICE: Rose, thanks for the lovely prayer. Now shut up and get into bed.... ROSE: Amen!! pause a few seconds... BLANCHE: Nice work, Dorothy. DOROTHY: It wasn't me. BLANCHE: Sweet Jesus am I in trouble!! (this line is cut out of Lifetime, but I remember it from the original) __________________ A fan of quality, classic television comedies and holiday specials... The Golden Girls, The Facts of Life, Roseanne, Will and Grace, Burns and Allen, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Are You Being Served?, Family Guy, South Park, Designing Women, Dallas, The Twilight Zone, Original Scooby-Doo Talk to me about one of these shows, and I'm all yours...

05-19-2002, 05:12 PM	#3
shocolah Forum Regular Bring Back The Wonder Years!!! Join Date: Sep 01, 2001 Posts: 509	I think my two favorite episodes are when all the girls have the flu (except Sophia) and the one where Dorothy goes out of town for a few days and Sophia sneaks off to Sicily. Blanche says something how she wishes Sophia was her mother so she could put her in Shady Pines. At the end of the show, Blanche finds out Sophia went to Sicily so there she is riding a mule into the village just like Sophia did around the middle of the show. Also I always crack up when Rose pretends to be interviewing Dorothy and Sophia rolls up the magazine and pretends it's a camera and Rose brings up how Dorothy has a whole drawer full of retirement home brochures and D. says those times when Ma makes her crazy, she goes to look at them to have some pretend time. Last edited by shocolah : 05-19-2002 at 05:13 PM.

05-23-2002, 01:19 PM	#4
80sTrivia Senior Member Pop Culture Soothsayer Join Date: May 23, 2002 Location: Alas, Babylon Posts: 9,834	There are so many hilarious episodes. My fave episode is when Rose wins St. Olaf's Woman of the Year and all of the girls travel to St. Olaf for the ceremony. When on the rickity plane, a guy jumps out of the airplane with a parachute once the plane flies over his destination!!! Then, when they are travelling in a hay wagon to get to St. Olaf, Rose is reminiscing about her childhood friend, Ingrid. Blanche suggests that Rose call her and Rose shouts out very loudly... "Hey, Ingrid!!!" And Ingrid responds, yelling: "Is that you Rose?" That episode has me rolling no matter how many times I've seen it!!! __________________ Too Much Information!!! The Wacky! The Weird! The Wild! All in One Place Thank You for Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book! The Totally Awesome 80s TV Trivia Book! Evangeline, Alive & Well: A Story of Hope in Haiti

06-04-2002, 11:21 AM	#5
Superbatboy Forum Regular The Brandon Show Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: California..USA Posts: 763	I like the one when Rose and Dorothy are going to enter a song writing contest. And Dorothy says "We could be the next Rogers and Hammerstein, the next Simon and Garfunkel" and then Rose interrupts and says "(I forgot the girl's name) and Lambchop" and then Dorothy goes, "I don't think I can get my hand that far up your dress"..."But for 10,000 dollars I'd be willing to give it a try" Or later in the same episode when Dorothy realizes Rose added an extra Miami is nice, she scolds Rose. Then Rose says "How about, Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice" Then Dorothy says "Who says thrice???" Betty says "It's a word" Dorothy says "So is intrauterin..... It does not belong in a song" Then Betty plays on the piano "Miami, you're cuter than, and intrauterin" I had to ask my mom what that word meant...lol.... I laughed REALLY hard the next time I saw that episode. There's so many funny lines....Oooooh....one more. When Big Daddy was coming to see Blanche and Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia were sitting in the living room talking, and Blanche comes out of her room in a revealing dress and asks "How do I look?" then Sophia looks at her and says "Like the night hostess at Denny's" __________________ "Marion, stop cackling I've been waiting 10 years for you to lay that egg"

06-04-2002, 07:39 PM	#6
pontoon Frequent Poster ~~VOTE GOAT!~~ Join Date: Apr 30, 2002 Location: Ba-a-a-a-a-ck at work. Posts: 219	Mine is... ...when Rose puts that ad in the 'personal' section of a 'swingers' newspaper. I'm paraphrasing here... Blanche: "Why is there a busload of Japanese sailers in the front yard?" Dorothy: "Rose put an ad in the personal section of a swingers magazine...I'll do ANYTHING for 7 dollars an hour!" Ya REALLY had to be there, pontoon

06-04-2002, 08:10 PM	#8
Superbatboy Forum Regular The Brandon Show Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: California..USA Posts: 763	This episode itself wasn't THAT funny, but this one scene where Blanche is complaining about the guy she's seeing. And she thinks he wants to have a baby right away...oh wait....the scene is in my signature...... Read the third set of lines in my signature.... Last edited by Superbatboy : 06-04-2002 at 08:13 PM.

06-06-2002, 02:23 PM	#9
80sTrivia Senior Member Pop Culture Soothsayer Join Date: May 23, 2002 Location: Alas, Babylon Posts: 9,834	Another witty exchange between the girls occurred when both Rose and Blanche wanted to be on the fashion committee: Dorothy: "Okay girls. Which goes better, the silver chain or the pearls?" Rose: "The chain." Blanche: "An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the many folds of that turkey-like neck?" Rose: "Well, that may be, but the pearls draw attention to the non-existent bosom." Blanche: "Yes, but the chain leads the eye even lower, to that huge spare tire jutting out over those square manly hips." Dorothy: "Why don't I just wear a sign that says too ugly to live?" Blanche: "Fine. But what are you going to hang it from, the chain or the pearls?" Dorothy: "Neither! I'm going to spray paint it on my hump!" The girls always got such pleasure out of making fun of Dorothy's looks... Last edited by 80sTrivia : 06-06-2002 at 08:32 PM.

06-06-2002, 03:53 PM	#10
britt britt Senior Member Catherine O'Hara Join Date: Apr 28, 2002 Location: canada Posts: 2,687	lol __________________ When I see you again As I always do It appears to me that Destiny rules That the spirits are ruthless With the paths they choose It's not being together It's just following the rules No one's a fool

06-06-2002, 08:20 PM	#11
pontoon Frequent Poster ~~VOTE GOAT!~~ Join Date: Apr 30, 2002 Location: Ba-a-a-a-a-ck at work. Posts: 219	It's been a while... ...since I've seen that episode! << Well, actually, it was: Blanche: Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front. (laughter from audience) Blanche: They want to know how many drakma are in eight dollars?!? And it was the regular paper, but instead of being in the "employment" column it was the "personals" section. Not to critique, but just fine-tuning.... >> I was WAY off, wasn't I? I'll take notes next time! pontoon

06-09-2002, 04:02 AM	#12
Superbatboy Forum Regular The Brandon Show Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: California..USA Posts: 763	Just remembered one more funny one. When the girls go to Atlanta to see Blanche's grandmother's house before it is bulldozed...and they're driving in the car: Rose: Dorthy dorthy bo borthy, banana fana for forthy, me my mo morthy...dorthy (Tire Screeching) Dorothy: Get Out Rose!

06-09-2002, 12:52 PM	#13
Czas na Zywiec Forum Veteran what up Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,342	Hm....These are probably my favorite lines from all the girls. Sophia We was po'! Silly rabbi, Trix are for kids! Thanks for the medicare........ Dorothy In what Blanche, dog years? Get out. (Refering to Rose while on the road to Atlanta) Blanche, there's a man leaving in 10 minutes. Be under him. Blanche Little balls of sunshine in a bag! I wish I was Sophia's daughter. Then I could put her in Shady Pines. You mean you died and went to a suburb of heaven? Rose Everything was fine until his wife started seeing little peices of Joe's plaid shirt in the corn. THAT'S WHAT THE CROW SAID!!!!!!!! Fine. I don't care what you say. (Mumbles)Hypersexual Bitch.

06-13-2002, 05:46 PM	#14
80sTrivia Senior Member Pop Culture Soothsayer Join Date: May 23, 2002 Location: Alas, Babylon Posts: 9,834	Another hilarious episode is when the roof is leaking and in need of repair! Rose has grabbed some towels to help soak up the rain: Blanche: "Wait! Is that my cabana club beach towel?" Rose: "Is it the one with the naked man and woman being swept away by the waves?" Blanche: "Yes. You can't use this towel." Dorothy: "Blanche, please this is an emergency!" Blanche: "I'm sorry, but there are far too many happy memories associated with this towel." Dorothy: "Blanche, I am in no mood to hear about the endless parade of sexual encounters you have experienced up and down the Florida coastline, with nothing but this towel between your hot flesh and the cold, wet sand!" Blanche: "I brought my baby son Skippy home from the hospital in this towel, Dorothy." Dorothy: [pauses] "... You're lying, Blanche." Blanche: "Damn, you're good! But it wasn't up and down the Florida coastline, it was just Fort Lauderdale during Spring Break...." Last edited by 80sTrivia : 06-13-2002 at 05:49 PM.

06-17-2002, 05:08 PM	#15
JPJ Frequent Poster Member Join Date: Sep 16, 2001 Posts: 77	I don't remember the name of the episode and I tried searching at epguides.com but found it overwhelming. EDIT: Ok, I found the name of the episode but forgot the number; it's "Dancing in the Dark". It's the episode where they are all out eating dinner on the back porch and I think Miles is there or some other man. Someone asks what they're having for dinner and one of the girls replies something with cabbage (I think). Then Sophia replies, "Cabbage she feeds me...In 10 minutes I'll be skywriting!". The camera pans to a disgusted Dorothy!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last edited by JPJ : 06-27-2002 at 03:57 PM.

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