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Old 09-01-2017, 07:48 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
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Default Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Songwriters" & "Santa & The Bookies" ('54):

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Songwriters" & "Santa & The Bookies" ('54):

Episode #90
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Double Anniversary Party."
DVD: Attached to "Battle of The Sexes" & "Catch A Star." On the Best of Lost Episodes DVD Vol. 1, it is attached to "Stand-In for Murder" (’55), "Principle of The Thing", "A Weighty Problem" & "A Little Man Who Wasn't There." On the remastered Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “The Brother-In-Law”, “Teamwork Beats The Clock”, “Santa & The Bookies” (’54), “Kramden Vs. Norton” & “A Promotion.”
Air Date: 12/11/54

According to John K's Book, the episode is officially titled: "The Songwriters."

At the Raccoon lodge, Ralph and Ed are playing ping-pong with a couple of other Raccoon players. After Ralph yells: "I HAVE GOT IT! I HAVE GOT IT!", he somehow ends up with the ball in his mouth. Ed says that he could go on the Ed Sullivan Show doing that. The Raccoon meeting is called to order as the Raccoons recite the Raccoon Pledge in Latin. After the pledge, Ed wants to know what it means. Oh God! We found out that the Raccoon Pledge was made by their founding Father Herman Hildebrand even though in "The Hypnotist" it was Toots Mondello. It turns out that Herman made some kind of drugs. It is also found out that Ed wants to fix the grandfather clock in the lodge and he wants to fix it during the meeting to show the Raccoons that it works. He does at approximately 8:57pm. He fixes it and when Ralph tries to talk, the gong in the clock rings for 9pm and swings thereby looking like some person is controlling it. I'm pretty sure it didn't ring three minutes later. Ralph gets upset and "unfixes" it. Mr. Alfredo comes by and asks the Raccoons to sing the Raccoon Marching Song which goes like this:

In the west and in the east
There's a mighty little beast
For courage there is no other.
When the chips are all at stake
The Raccoon will never break
We are proud to call him brother.
So with our noble tails entwined
And a spirit strong of mind
We'll have hearts that cannot melt.
In the forest, in the trees
On the land or seven seas
We're brothers under the pelt.
Raccoons, the noble Raccoons

The audience didn't even clap or laugh at the end. The instrumental version of that song would be played in later episodes. After everyone leaves, Ed plays "Suwannee River" on the piano and Mr. Alfredo says that Ed Norton has plenty of talent and musical ability. He also knows that Ralph is a good lyric writer. He leaves just as Ralph talks about his latest idea. He and Ed are going to become songwriters. Ed fixes the grandfather clock. He says that by fixing it, he saved the Lodge $3. They leave, just as the clock rings. As it rings where it actually causes nearby things to fall and break. The clock also breaks more now than ever. Watch and you will find out what I mean. So in turn, Ed costed the lodge money. At home, a piano is delivered and Alice says to Trixie that it is a refrigerator seems to be VERY BIG for it to be a refrigerator. Trixie leaves. Ralph enters and asks Alice to close her eyes as Ralph opens the package. It's a piano and Alice demands it to be returned back. They argue. Ralph says that he always wrote great poetry. Alice recites some of his poetry: "Ape! Ape! Open the gate! Here comes Alice the Grad-u-ate!" Some poetry. Ralph says he spent the whole $80 (the Christmas Club money) to pay for the piano. (He bought it on credit.) Alice is upset since they have 15 relatives that they have to give presents for. Alice says that she is going to take it back. Ralph throws out the window the store information so Alice won't find out what store it belongs to only to have Ed pick it up and give it to Alice. Ralph kicks Ed out.

That night, Ralph and Ed are getting very tired rehearsing. Ed warms up to every song playing by playing "Suwannee River." He would do the same thing in the "$99,000 Answer." Ralph says some of the lyrics that he wrote which include: "Ears like a bunny." Ralph: "Maybe we can make it an Easter song." Ed is very tired. Ed: "I got to get up in the morning. I got a job to do." Ralph says that he does to and he has responsibilities. If he falls asleep, he's liable to run into something. Ed says that if he falls asleep, he will drown. Ralph says some more of the lyrics that he wrote that include: "Baby dear, what are you crying for? Do your dad-dy a big favor!" McGarrity complains and so does Alice who recites some of the bad lyrics that she heard Ralph sing. Ralph gets upset. Alice goes to bed. Ralph and Ed rehearse some more with little success. McGarrity's wife vacuums saying that with Ralph living in the building, she has to sleep during the day. Her voice is like Trixie is. Ralph complains about a person moving garbage cans and McGarrity banging his pipes. Those two interruptions give Ralph some lyrics which go: "The garbage cans go clang! The radiator goes bang!" Ralph: "It's going to be hit."

At a publisher's office, Ed plays the piano while Ralph attempts to say the lyrics. Ed warms up by playing "Suwannee River." The publisher thinks that "Suwannee River"'s notes are being rewritten and he mentions "Suwannee River"'s writer, Steven Foster. Ralph would forget that Steve wrote that song in "$99,000 Answer." Ralph explains to him that Ed does that to warm up. A pianist comes by and plays the song just as Ralph and Ed write the lyrics which go like this: "The garbage can goes clang/the radiator goes bang/and the vacuum makes a racket too. Put them all together and what have you got/that's my love song to you." Bob Manning wrote this song before this episode was made. Don't the lyrics seem a bit outdated? The publisher doesn't know what to think Ed leaves. The publisher says that he likes the music but the lyrics need to be changed and that a pro lyric writer would write new lyrics to Ed's music. Instead of being selfish, Ralph steps aside for Norton's sake.

At home, Ralph is upset about what he did. Alice is happy that Ralph did something nice for Norton. Ed Norton comes in with a radio saying that they are going to play a song on CBS radio. Ralph goes into the bedroom but comes out when he hears his and Ed's song on the radio. By the way, the guy on the radio says that the song is being sung by a guy named Bob Manning. Norton says to Ralph that he values his friendship with Ralph more than a musical career, and unbeknownst to Ralph, takes their song to another publisher, who loves it so much he has it recorded. Ralph says that they will be millionaires! It turns out that Ralph's idea worked sort of. Of course, they don't become millionaires!

There’s are some people that say that this episode should have been made as the last episode of the Honeymooners due to an idea of Ralph’s kind of working. I agree.

Episode #91
DVD: Attached to “Teamwork Beats The Clock”, “The Brother-In-Law”, “Songwriters”, “Kramden Vs. Norton” & “A Promotion.”
Air Date: 12/18/54

Alice is busy knitting clothes for some baby while singing the song that Ralph & Ed “wrote” in “Songwriters.” Trixie comes in and here Alice reveals her temporary job she has just so she can save enough money for Christmas. She won't tell Ralph because Ralph will make her quit no matter how hard the job is. It's the principle of the thing to him. She did and said the same exact thing in "Expectant Father" too. Alice hurts her back so Trixie says she will make sure Alice go sees a doctor.

Ralph comes home and is upset that he has to have tuna fish again. He wanders why that he couldn't have a hot meal. He and Alice have an argument about this causing Alice to go into the bedroom. Ed comes in Alice is knitting baby clothes to make some extra money for Christmas. Norton comes down. Ed: "Hey Ralph, what are all those cats doing outside your front door?" Ralph gets more upset that he has to have tuna fish. Ed asks Ralph if he can hide Trixie's Christmas present in the Kramden's apartment, Ralph says yes and sticks the present in the bureau drawer -- where Alice has hidden the baby clothes. A moment later, when Norton tells Ralph that Trixie has made a doctor's appointment for Alice, Ralph is sure that Alice is pregnant. Ed: "This is almost as good as when you got 300 points in bowling." Now Ralph is remorseful for yelling at Alice. Alice comes in and says that Ralph was right he deserves a hot meal. Ralph is acting all nice because he thinks that Alice is pregnant. Alice doesn't know what to make of it. She leaves. Ralph decides he has to make some more money in a hurry so that his future son can go to college. He needs so extra money for the kid. Ed: "I have some money that is owed to me and when I get it, it's just as good as yours." Ralph: "You're a good pal Norton. Who owes you?" Ed: "You do." Gee, that really helps Ralph. Ralph he answers a newspaper ad for a Santa Claus job but not before Ed finds some jobs that Ralph can do to earn extra money for the kid. One of them is in South America. Ralph says to forget about that job because he doesn't want to go to South America. Ed finally finds a job for Ralph, a street Santa. After Ed leaves, he brings in the cats that were near Ralph's front door because he says that the cats attacked him.

The next day Ralph goes to apply for the job. What he doesn't know is that the guys who placed the ad are bookmakers and that they plan to use the Santa to collect bets. They reveal themselves to Ralph as Mr. Smith and Mr. Smith. When they reveal to Ralph that he got the job, the sound is cut off for a few seconds on the DVD. I guess all the audio didn’t survive. Ralph gets hired and asks Ed if he can be hired but he warns them that he is not as smart as he is. With that, Ed is hired. Around 6pm that night, Ralph and Ed begin their first day on the job. Ed is wearing a loud elf uniform. Ed is recognized by some kids as Space Hopper. Ha! After one person drops in their slip, Ralph reads it and still he doesn't know it's a bet for a horse in a race. An old lady comes by. When she puts down her bet with the money, Ralph says that she doesn't have to do that. Lady: "I want 'Rocking Chair' for $2." Ralph still doesn't know what she meant. A mother and a kid come by. She asks "Santa" that if he doesn't go to bed when they get home, will he put a lump of coal in his stocking. "Santa" says: "Yes." So the kid “kicks” Ralph. I think you can tell that he didn’t really kick him. They leave. Either that kid and his mother live VERY far away or that mother forces her kid to go to bed VERY early. One drunken person comes by, takes one look at them and says that he will never drink as long as he lives. Another person comes by and puts his money in the pot. Ralph says he will get that back many fold. Man: "I should. It's 20 to 1." Ed: "What are you talking about? It's half-past six." He leaves. A policeman comes by and puts his money in (thinking that what Ralph and Ed are dong something good.) When Ed says to the police officer to put in his slip (everyone else put in their slips). The policeman sees what's really going on and sends Ralph and Ed to jail, thinking that they are the bookies they are looking for.

In jail, Ralph is mad at Ed. He is thinking that this is the end of life for him. A police officer comes by. Police officer: “Are you guys ready to talk?” Ed: “Yeah, what do you want to talk about?” Ha! Ralph explains to the police officer that his wife is pregnant. Alice comes by and Ralph tells her that he was making extra money for their future baby. Alice says that she is not pregnant. Now Ralph and Ed are in bigger trouble. When Ed says that the two Mr. Smiths are going to come by their street corner and collect the money soon, Ralph hatches a plan so the police can catch the real bad guys. It works. Ralph is upset. Alice says that she was just getting a job so she can buy him a Christmas present. Ralph: “You know how I feel about a woman getting a job. Every time they do, they get into trouble.” Alice: “We do? How about the trouble you are in?” Are in? I think that was a blunder. Ralph: “Don’t change the subject. From now on, you do what I say.”

It looks like Ralph will have a Merry Christmas after all. But when he holds out his hand, a woman comes by and drops money in his hand. A policeman catches him and sends Ralph off to jail. Alice & Ed follow Ralph. The policeman follows them as the opening of the "Dragnet" theme song plays.

Credit I believe goes to tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
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