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Old 06-23-2017, 07:44 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
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Default Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Lawsuit" & "Fortune Teller":

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Lawsuit" & "Fortune Teller":

Episode #70 (Syndicated episode #108)
TV: Attached to "What's The Name."
VCR: Attached to "Battle of The Sexes."
DVD: Attached to "Great Jewel Robbery", "Guest Speaker" & "Honeymooners Valentine." On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Fortune Teller”, “The Next Champ”, “Stand-In For Murder” (’54), “Move Uptown” & “Man In The Blue Suit.”
Air Date: 03/27/54

If you watch this episode on TV, you'll notice that the title of the episode appears on screen with no music, just Ralph (yelling to Alice): "Alice, what are you doing?" If you watch this episode on VHS/DVD, the episode title comes on screen with music. Also, if you watch this episode on VHS/DVD, you will notice a big white line on the right. If you watch this episode on TV, most of the time the picture is cropped so the line won't be visible. Alice is cleaning the window. Ralph comes out with a cast around his broken leg. Jackie did break his leg once during his variety show several weeks prior to making this episode. So during this episode, his leg really was injured. That might have served as inspiration for this episode. Alice complains that all she has done in the past six weeks is wait on Ralph hand and foot. So, Ralph says that will stop. If he can't get something, he will do without it. That lasts for a few seconds. Typical Ralph. Ralph says that after he sues the bus company for $10,000, he will get some money to use for spending. Imagine, in "The Safety Award", Ralph says he had no accidents on the bus. Alice says that after this ridiculous lawsuit, Ralph will have no job. Ralph: "With the money I will have left over, I will be a millionaire." Doesn't Ralph know that when you sue someone, you are supposed to use the money to pay off the injury so to speak and Ralph must stink at Math for him to think he will be a millionaire with the money he will have left over? Ralph explains the whole accident. It was raining and the windshield wipers weren't working and because of that, he got into an accident. It was the bus company's responsibility to make sure that the wipers work. Ralph says with the dough, he will open up a grocery store in Jersey City. Hey, that's my mom's old hometown. Ralph: "We will be living on Easy Street just because I broke my leg. I must be the luckiest guy in the world." Sure, he's lucky.

Ralph tries to get up so he can put some weight on his broken leg when Ed Norton comes in. Ralph explains that he is trying to put some weight on his broken leg. Ed: "You are just the boy that can do it." Ed cracks wall nuts when Ralph is doing this so Ralph thinks he broke his leg again and when he hears that was Ed cracking wall nuts, he gets mad at Ed. Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed says he got off the phone with a lawyer and explained the whole case to him. According to the lawyer, the case is perfect. Ralph explains that to Alice and she says she will buy a mink coat. Ralph: "She is just jealous because I have the broken leg."

Ed explains an accident he had in the sewer once. A manhole cover fell on his head and since he couldn't prove it did any damage, the layers said he had no case. He also explains a similar situation that happened to a family member he knows. His story is so whacked that Ralph thinks that every member of his family should drive off to Bellevue. A claims adjuster from the bus company comes and offers Ralph back pay for the time he missed while recuperating and complete payment of his medical bills, but Ralph refuses the offer. Ed says that a person he knows had a situation that is similar to what happened to Ralph. That person stubbed his toe on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Ha! Ralph says that he is suing. The claim adjuster leaves and wishes Ralph good luck. Ed says that Ralph has got his broken leg. He tries to hit it softly but ends up hurting Ralph.

Alice comes back. She saw and talked to the claim adjuster. This is the dumbest thing that Ralph ever did. Ralph: "You won't be saying that when we are living on Park Avenue." Alice: "I thought you were going to open a grocery store in Jersey." Ralph: "I'll commute." The lawyer comes in (he is played by George Petrie). The lawyer explains he whole case to everyone but says that the fault of the accident rests on the driver's shoulders. D'oh! Not something Ralph wanted to hear. Ralph explains that he was the driver. The lawyer, shocked leaves. Ed leaves too. Ralph has no case after all, and, after kicking the adjuster out of the apartment, maybe no job either. Ed leaves.

Ralph apologizes to Alice. As Ralph is talking, you can tell the condition of the audio of the film is bad. Why? Ralph is talking and you can tell that that's not his normal voice. Ralph even says that he has been injured for six months when Alice just said that he has been injured for six weeks. Sounds like Jackie messed up his lines and when he did, Audrey's eyes light up. Anyway, Alice forgives Ralph. They hug and kiss.

I should point out that on the VHS/DVD versions during the final seconds that while Ralph was talking, you can barely hear him and Alice talk. It seems like a person was hitting a Mute button. If you watch this episode on TV however, the audio is better but you can tell it's overdubbed not only during the final seconds but as well as when Ralph is talking to Ed when Ed reveals that Ralph has a perfect case. Jackie & Audrey must have overdubbed this episode when this episode was released because their voices sound older. It was that during this overdub, that Jackie made a blooper and said six months instead of six weeks. Six months? Seems like an awful long time to recover from a broken leg, doesn't it? The reason why the overdubs didn’t make it onto the VHS/DVD is because Viacom made the edits and not MPI.

Episode #71
TV: Not shown on TV since its original airdate.
DVD: Attached to “Lawsuit”, “The Next Champ”, “Stand-In For Murder” (’54 version), “Move Uptown” & “The Man In The Blue Suit.”
Air Date: 04/03/54

Alice & Trixie and all their girl friends, which are her club members, are at the Kramden apartment and their getting their fortune told by Madam Zelda. Madam Zelda tells Mary via palm reading that she is going to have 8 kids. She already has 7 so she has one more to go. Trixie is next. She uses a deck of cards to have her fortune told. Madam Zelda looks at the cards and thinks that Trixie has had hard times and thinks that there are a lot of bumps in the road. Trixie: “That must have been when I was in burlesque.” Madam Zelda looks at some other cards and she sees a lot of water. She says that the Jack of Spades is her (Trixie’s) husband and asks if her husband has been on an ocean board. Trixie says no. Trixie: “You are close. He works in the sewer.” Ralph & Ed come in. Alice introduces Ralph to Madam Zelda. Alice mentions that when Zelda read her hand, she says that her and Ralph were going to go on a big European trip. Well, they did go on a European trip technically two times. Ralph: “Well, I guess you forgot to wash your hands after you ate that pizza last night.” As most of the girls leave, Ralph asks if Madam Zelda said that there was a tall dark, handsome man in anybody’s future. One of the girls says yes. Ed says that it must be him. The girls leave. Alice says that she was more than satisfied with Madam Zelda. She pays her the money. Madam Zelda wants to wash her hands. Alice hands her a towel and Madam Zelda heads to the bathroom. Alice says that Madam Zelda only charged $3 and change. Ralph: “FOR THAT PHONY?” Alice says that Zelda was wonderful and not a phony. Ralph still believes that what Zelda says is mumbo-jumbo just like all those other fortune tells out there. Ed says that you can’t be too sure. Ed: “I had my palm read once. The teller said that I wasn’t meant for the world of business. I got a scientific mind. I was going to be a doctor and I was going to be famous for inventing some type of syrup.” Ralph: “That proves it. They are nuts.” Ed: “Give it a chance. I’m still young.” Trixie: “Let’s go upstairs Dr. Kildare. You got a rough day in the sewer tomorrow.” Ed: “Don’t get wise Trixie. Next time you got your fortune told, the teller won’t have to read your palm, she can read the bumps off of your head.” The Nortons leave. Alice says that it is amazing what that Madam Zelda can read just by looking at the palm of your hand. Ralph says that they are real phonies. Alice says that they got her because of Blanche. Zelda said that Blanche would be married within a year and she was. Ralph: “Blanche’s dad had more to do with it than she did.” Alice: “If she was such a phony, how could she tell me all that stuff that she did?”

Zelda comes back out. Alice asks Zelda to have a cup of coffee with her and Ralph. She complies. Ralph gets talked into having his fortune told via a stack of cards. Zelda looks at the cards and assumes that Ralph is very satisfied with his job. Ralph: “Boy, you got the wrong number.” Zelda looks at more cards and assumes that Ralph is a leader of men that commands respect of all who know him. Ralph: “So you finally hit on something.” Zelda then reads Ralph’s palm and after a few seconds says that she can’t read his future. Zelda leaves. Ralph tries to go to bed. He goes into the bedroom and comes back out. Ralph: “WHAT DID THAT DAME SEE IN MY HAND?” Alice and Ralph look at Ralph’s palm. Alice can’t tell. Alice tries to remind Ralph of what he said about fortune teller's giving fake fortunes. Ralph blames Alice and says that if he can’t get any sleep, it’s Alice’s fault. Alice says for Ralph to not get so dramatic. Alice: “Maybe you are right about her being a phony. Ralph: “Didn’t she tell Blanche about her upcoming marriage? Those are facts. Alice suggests him going over to Madam Zelda after work and having her tell him that is nothing. Ralph says that that is what he will do. Alice goes into the bedroom.

The next day at Madam Zelda’s headquarters, Madam Zelda and her assistant are talking about Ralph coming. Zelda says that Ralph is gullible. Zelda: “When I refused to tell him his fortune, I knew that I had him. He didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. I am going to have him come back here for 5 or 6 visits.” A knock on the door is heard. She assumes that it is Ralph. He tells her male assistant to tell him that she is busy with a client and for him to wait. Zelda goes into another room to change. Ralph and Ed come in and get told that Zelda is busy and for them to wait. Ed: “That might be too much, he might drop dead any minute.” Ralph: “Will you shut up?” The male assistant goes to get Zelda but he says that she can’t be rushed. Ed says that these tellers don’t give accurate fortunes all the time. Ed: “I once knew a guy who went to a fortune teller and she told him that he has six months to live. She was wrong. It took him a whole year to die.” Both of them look at the hand on the wall and Ed studies it and then looks at Ralph’s palm and closes it. Ed: “I don’t know the first thing about reading palms.” Ralph asks Ed to leave him alone. Ed thinks that Zelda thinks that Ralph is losing his mind. Ed takes a small crystal ball and makes like he is going to use it as a bowling ball. Ed & Ralph look at a picture of a person’s brain that is on the wall. The picture has all the areas of the brain. Ed takes off his hat and touches a part of the drawing of the brain and after examining the picture and feeling his head says that he has all the parts of the brain. Ralph: “That is what you think.”

Zelda comes out. Ralph pays her to tell him his fortune. She says that he will not die. Ralph is relieved. She then says that he will commit a murder within a week. Ralph is now upset. Ralph: "I couldn't harm a fly." Ed: "You have quite a temper." Ralph (yells): "I HAVE NOT!" Ralph asks her who he will murder and agrees to pay her $5 more. She looks into her crystal ball. Madam Zelda: "In my crystal ball, it's cloudy. Cloudy." Ed: "Ralph, who do you know with the name Cloudy?" Zelda: "The image will not come through." Zelda says that she can’t do anything for now and maybe tomorrow, she will get the answer. She leaves. Ralph has to come back tomorrow even though all of those visits will cost him money. Ed agrees. He will need the money.

Later on in the Kramden apartment, Alice is putting things away. Ralph comes home. Alice asks if Ralph went to Madam Zelda and he lies by saying no. Ralph: “Me and Norton just had a couple of beers.” Ralph is very uppity. Alice wants Ralph to rub her neck. He goes to rub her neck but stops himself. He says that he rather not rub her neck. After Ralph says that there is nothing wrong with him, Alice asks Ralph to rub her neck. Ralph rubs her neck. Alice asks him to rub her neck harder. He rubs her neck too hard. Alice: “WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME?” Ralph: “DON’T SAY IT!” Ralph says that there is nothing wrong. Mrs. Manicotti comes by. She is making a cake and she is a little short on sugar. She tells Alice of the correct fortune that Madam Zelda predicted about a friend of hers. Ralph is now more worried. Mrs. Manicotti: “Madam Zelda is never wrong.” Ralph: “GET OUT!” She does. Alice tells Ralph to tell her what the meaning of that was. Ralph says that he doesn’t know and he’s hungry. Alice: “I will fix your supper.” Ralph: “I am not hungry.” Alice: “You just said…” Ralph: “ALL RIGHT THEN FIX IT!” Alice asks Ralph to cut some bread. Ralph goes to cut the bread in very thick pieces. Alice reprimands him for that. Ralph: “MUST YOU ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.” Ralph shows Alice the knife and yells at her to leave him alone then drops the knife. Ralph asks Alice to get out of here while it is still safe. Alice doesn’t understand. Ralph says for Alice to go to her mom’s. She says that she can’t because she is having the place painted so she suggests having her come here for a week. Ralph doesn’t like that idea. Ralph: “If there is anyone that I am libel to, it’s her.” Alice says that she is not leaving. Ralph says that if she doesn’t go, he will put her out. Alice: “You will put me out over my dead body.” Ralph: “DON’T SAY THAT!” If she doesn’t leave, Ralph will go to his room and he says that he won’t come out. She doesn’t want to leave so Ralph goes to his room and says that he will stay there for the time being. Ralph will not eat his dinner. Ralph comes back out and asks if Alice will leave. She says that she won’t. Ed comes down. Ed sees Alice on the ground trying to catch a cockroach and assumes that Ralph killed Alice and gets scared. He gets scared further when Alice comes back up. Alice goes into the bedroom to wash her hands. Ed suggests for Ralph to spend the week at his place and he will send Trixie to her mothers. Ralph likes that idea. Ralph calls Ed a real pal. Ed leaves.

Norton's apartment's bedroom is shown for the first time. They are ready to go to bed. The bedroom looks different then it did in "The Sleepwalker." Ed comes out with a very loud nightgown. He is too nervous. He won’t even undress. He can’t take the brace that is under his pants off his leg anyway because the doctor told him it’s too soon. The last episode before this was “Lawsuit.” That episode revolved around Ralph’s broken leg. A story that was inspired by Jackie’s real-life broken leg that he suffered a couple of months prior to that episode. Ed says that his bed with the doll is his. What a surprise. Ed says for Ralph to relax. They try to go to sleep. Ed is whistling loudly and asks if Ralph wants a snack. Ralph says no. He doesn’t want to go up and go to the kitchen. Ed says that they don’t have too because he keeps a lot of food in his nightstand. Ha! Ed starts to eat his food and doesn’t make a sound yet Ralph still asks him to take it easy. Ed: “I’m sorry that you can hear the noise.” I guess that that may have been a blooper. Ed reads a Donald Duck comic book and laughs at what he is reading much to Ralph’s chagrin. Ralph mentions that Ed likes those crime books. Ed: “Those crime books are very educational. They say that the murderer is always caught.” Ralph gets upset. Ralph worries about murdering someone while sleepwalking. Ralph then asks Ed to put rope around each other's wrists to prevent Ralph from sleepwalking. He should of thought of that in "Pal O' Mine." They put the rope on. They go to sleep but with the rope is causing trouble. I thought it would be even funnier if they did some sort of reenactment of "Unconventional Behavior" when they had handcuffs on. Ralph then says that one should be awake while the other one sleeps. They try to get into each other’s bed but can’t due to the rope. So they switch beds. The same thing happens so Ralph suggests that they sleep on each other’s backs. Ed complies. Ed then gets up and accidentally drags Ralph off the bed. Ed says that he forgot to open the window. Ed has to open the window that wide because he sleeps in the sewer. According to the “Peacemaker”, isn’t there a rule that is against that? Ralph says that he doesn’t want the window open that wide and because he is a guest, he demands that Ed close the window. Ed accidentally slams the window on Ralph’s hand. Ralph: “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?” Ed thinks that Ralph s being ungrateful. Ed: “You kill me.” Ed gets scared that Ralph will kill him so he says that he is leaving and tries to defend himself against Ralph. Ed leaves much to Ralph’s chagrin.

The “Dragnet” theme plays as we cut to the police station. Ralph comes in and asks the cops to arrest him. He says that a fortune teller says that he will commit a murder within a week. The cops don't believe him and think that he is drunk and orders him to get out or he will lock him up. Ralph: “DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! MY TAXES PAY YOUR SALARY! YOU WORK FOR ME.” Another cop comes by with a drunk and disorderly person. He is arrested for striking an officer. He will be in jail for 10 days. Ralph gets an idea. Ralph doesn’t listen to the cop when he asks him to get out. Ralph “hits” an officer. Ralph is grateful when he learns that he will get 10 days. Madam Zelda and her accomplice come by with a police officer. They are going to be arrested. They are charged with defrauding the public. Ralph: “You mean that she is a phony.” Madam Zelda realizes that Ralph is sharper than he thought. Madam Zelda and her accomplice go to jail. Ralph says that he is not guilty and is now elated that he can go home and explain it to Alice and everything will be all right. Ralph forgot that he is now arrested. Ralph goes to jail as the “Dragnet” theme plays.

Credit I believe goes to tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot & Amazon.com.
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