Sitcoms Online - Main Page / Message Boards - Main Page / News Blog / Photo Galleries / DVD Reviews / Buy TV Shows on DVD and Blu-ray

View Today's Active Threads / View New Posts / Mark All Boards Read / Chit Chat Board

Games / Movies / Music / Sports / Random Posts / Politics


Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums  

Go Back   Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums > Chit Chat
User Name
Password


Welcome to the Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, search, view attachments, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

SitcomsOnline.com News Blog Headlines Twitter Facebook Instagram RSS

New Comedy for Sundance Now Service from Peep Show Stars; Showtime's SMILF Gets Set for Premiere
Sitcom Stars on Talk Shows; This Week in Sitcoms (Week of October 16, 2017)
SitcomsOnline Digest: Television Academy Hall of Fame Inductees Announced; Roswell Ready for Reboot
Fri-Yay: The Middle on The Top; Hulu Snags Futurama
Hallmark's Holly Robinson Peete Series Coming in February; Remembering Sitcom Writer Bob Schiller
Disney Picks Up 2nd Season of Raven Sitcom; Family Matters Cast Reunites
ION Television Gets Festive for Holidays; USA Schedules Psych: The Movie


New on DVD/Blu-ray (October)

2 Broke Girls - The Complete Series The Good Place - The Complete First Season Green Acres - The Complete Series Rhoda - The Final (Fifth) Season The Jamie Foxx Show - The Complete Fourth Season

10/03 - 2 Broke Girls - The Complete Sixth Season
10/03 - 2 Broke Girls - The Complete Series
10/03 - Rules of Engagement - Seasons 1-4 Collection
10/10 - The Brady Bunch - A Very Brady Christmas
10/10 - Everybody Hates Chris - The Complete Series
10/10 - Frasier - Christmas Episodes
10/10 - The Honeymooners - Christmas Laughter
10/10 - Sabrina, the Teenage Witch - The Christmas Episodes
10/17 - The Good Place - The Complete First Season
10/17 - Green Acres - The Complete Series
10/17 - Rhoda - The Final (Fifth) Season
10/24 - The Jamie Foxx Show - The Complete Fourth Season
More TV DVD Releases / DVD Reviews Archive / SitcomsOnline Digest


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-05-2010, 02:10 AM   #1
*Pleasant Tomorrow*
Forum Legend
Member
 
*Pleasant Tomorrow*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 19, 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 69,155
Confused Need Advice...Or Input...Or Anything

Disclaimer: This is a long rant and cry for advice. If you decide to read the whole thing you're a saint.

So I've fallen into this trap again...I forget what they call it-having a crush on someone or something. Not really sure, doesn't matter...I usually just refer to it as "utter hell and confusion please kill me now I wish I were asexual." The reason being I am absolutely horrible at deciphering whether a guy simply just wants to be friends or if he wants something more. I've had issues before where I thought someone wanted something more, then he turned around and said it was only a crush and decided to date someone else before even giving me those answers.

Well thereís a new one. We work together at school and Iíve known him since last semester, but I didnít really start forming a crush on him until this semester. Something just happened, I donít knowÖI felt like all of a sudden he was showing a lot of attention toward me and I wasnít really minding it. What we do is a work study job where we just work at a bunch of events at the school, lots of setting up, etc. Sometimes we stay to work the event, other times we just set up and leave. The last couple of times we could leave early, I volunteered to stay longer. He did too. No one else did. We literally just sat together the whole time just talking (my job is a joke), long past we really had to stay, Iíd say. Somehow we got on the topic of astronomy and found it was a common interest (yeah Iím a dork), so he went out of his way to describe all of these ideas and things to me. I dunno we just got along really well and I donít know what happened there.

Another time there was a hockey game we had to work at. Again, just the two of us but it was just lucky coincidence this time. Our job was basically to escort people from the school on the bus and to the game and then pretty much just watch the game and get paid for it, lol. God, okayÖanywayÖapparently I get flustered not just talking but typing as well. Anyway, it felt like an awkward date because it was just usÖwatching a gameÖtalking. At one point he left for what felt like forever because he had to find a quieter place to use the phone because he had to call in to his other job because the game was taking longer than he thought. I was worried and then he comes back with a hot chocolate for me. Ugh, kill me. Okay, we get back to campus and heís a commuter. I tell him Iím going to dinnerÖhe asks if he can join. Iím all aight, Iím gonna get ahold of my friends cause they should be coming too. Iíll text you to let you know. Well my friends arenít there so I freak out because itís gonna be just us two OMG too nervous to eat type of thing. We get there and sit down, but then I see my friends so Iím like hey letís go over there and heís all okay. Heíd already met some of my friends because they were on the bus earlier, and he jokingly said ďI feel like Iím slowly infiltrating your group.Ē It was funny at the time. Anyway, we all talk, get along, jolly old time. My best friend joked to me about it afterward, perhaps because something was apparent. I donít know.

Today. So thereís another event on campus we set up for. He actually brought me a book about astronomy that he'd mentioned before, which was sweet. Another sign? Hell if I know. We finish setting up, donít have to stay. Beforehand he was saying how he has a lot of homework to do so it seemed pretty apparent he wasnít going to stay. But he asks if Iím staying. I say yes. He says maybe he will too. What happens instead? He asks me if I want to see some youtube video so we go to the office and pretty much sit there alone watching random hilarious videos for like almost two hours. Then he goes on his facebook and shows me random funny things, videos he has on there, pics of his family etc. (What does that mean?) Then this happens: thereís an ex-ed out facebook chat with some girl and he points out that it was an ex who heíd dated for a long time, but things got bad when she got into drugs or whatever and he said they hated each other for awhile. He says recently they started talking again, however, and that sheís cleaned up now. It was quick, just an explanationÖand itís been killing me all night.

Even after that, when we got downstairs we lingered for awhile watching this event, which was coincidentally a campus dating game show. Despite all the things he had to do, he just kept staying. He's going to be up until 4am today because of me...or because he's just a procrastinator and this interest is all in my head?

What does the ex thing mean? One friend says itís a horrible sign, another says it might just be an explanation as to who that was. I really donít know. Hell, I donít even know if he likes me. Iíd think the way heís been going out of his way to stay/talk to me might mean something, but Iíve already been wrong before. Then this. If a guy likes a girl, would he even explain anything about an ex? My gut tells me no. But could it have just been an explanation? A topic of conversation? Am I reading too much into this like a girl, when guy meanings tend to mean way less than what we take them to be? Am I screwed? Will Lassie help save Timmy from the well?

Please help me.
__________________
my name is ashlee


"I can feel it - the turn of the Earth,
the ground beneath our feet
spinning at a thousand miles an hour.
And the entire planet is hurtling around the sun
at 67,000 thousand miles an hour and I can feel it.
We're falling through space, you and me.
Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world
and if we let go..."

- The Doctor
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 02:23 AM   #2
Elvis Fonzie Dean
Moderator
Forum Veteran
Member
 
Elvis Fonzie Dean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 02, 2003
Location: theUSofA
Posts: 15,636
Default

I understand this confusion.Are you on each other's friends' list on facebook?
__________________
Richie:Your lucky this is your jacket because next time its gonna be you!

The Fonz:Tell me something Dean...how did he get his jacket inside the bed?

http://www.lindapurl.net/gallery/career/hday1.jpg
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 03:15 AM   #3
Nighthawk76
Forum Veteran
Rachel Berry
 
Nighthawk76's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 28, 2003
Location: Illinois
Posts: 23,194
Default

Ashlee, I think that the best thing for you to do is to sit down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. Really that's the only way you are truly going to know what's in his heart.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 12:42 PM   #4
MickeyMac
Moderator
Forum Veteran
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 18, 2008
Location: Kalamazoo, Michigan
Posts: 18,883
Default

First off I can understand your concern about whether this guy is serious or not. Not too long ago I let myself get interested in somebody only to find out they already have a boyfriend.


From what I have read, and what you have described. Its sounds like to me this guy is interested in you. He seems to want to spend time with you, and he bought you a book of astronomy (something you both share an interest).


Ashlee my advice is to play it cool. Wait for a little while and see what happens next. Put the ball in his court and see what he does next. Most importantly, whatever you do, take it slow. You dont want to rush into anything and find out there is nothing there. I have done that a few times myself.


Let us know how this turns out.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 02:46 PM   #5
Janice
Administrator
Forum Celebrity
My Sweet Lily
 
Janice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 03, 2001
Location: Beantown
Posts: 35,861
Default

Ashlee, I think it's obvious, from his actions, that he likes you. The book, hot chocolate, the way he asked if he could hang out with your friends and how he spends time with you. It's possible that he just wants to be friends, but I just don't get that vibe. You're obviously on his mind. Don't worry about the ex. She was, emphasis on was, a part of his life. I take it as a good sign that he told you about her. He's letting you into his life, and since she's part of his recent past, he told you about her.

It looks to me like the beginning of a relationship. Take it slow and follow his lead. Whatever you do, don't ask him how he feels about you or tell him how you feel about him. You'll come off as clingy and insecure, and you're not. Let it unfold naturally. Some of the best relationships start off as friendships. My husband and I were friends (and co-workers) for a year before we started dating. We both were involved with other people. It all worked out as we'll celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this year. Things look good to me. You're both available and enjoy each other's company. The start of a relationship is both great and nerve-wracking. Enjoy it. If it becomes serious, you'll be the first to know. Good luck.

  Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 07:00 PM   #6
*Pleasant Tomorrow*
Forum Legend
Member
 
*Pleasant Tomorrow*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 19, 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 69,155
Default

Thanks guys, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my ramblings. The things you say really help me feel a bit better about this. But Janice, I'm glad you said not to say anything. I have had people saying I should but I feel like it's too soon so with my gut and with what you said, I think I'll just take it as it comes. I talked to my best friend today and she said the same. Very stressful, but you guys are right...be careful, take it slow. And in the mean time I'll try my best to not tear my hair out of my head. Tufts of hair isn't a good look for me.

Anyway, thanks again.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 08:02 PM   #7
Janice
Administrator
Forum Celebrity
My Sweet Lily
 
Janice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 03, 2001
Location: Beantown
Posts: 35,861
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*
Thanks guys, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my ramblings. The things you say really help me feel a bit better about this. But Janice, I'm glad you said not to say anything. I have had people saying I should but I feel like it's too soon so with my gut and with what you said, I think I'll just take it as it comes. I talked to my best friend today and she said the same. Very stressful, but you guys are right...be careful, take it slow. And in the mean time I'll try my best to not tear my hair out of my head. Tufts of hair isn't a good look for me.

Anyway, thanks again.
Yes, you have to play your cards right at the beginning of the relationship. You don't want to appear desperate. He'll run for the hills. My husband say that you shouldn't always be available. He says that woman have to be a little mysterious. Don't tell him too much about yourself too fast. He also says to be yourself, but be sweet because most men don't like loud or overbearing girls. He says a man is where he wants to be. Meaning, that if the guy likes you, nothing will keep him from you. There's my guy's point of view. Don't play hard to get, but don't play too easy to get either. Show an interest in his life. Ask questions about his family, work, etc. It might sound like I'm saying to play games, and in a way I guess I am. It's kind of lousy, but I didn't make the rules, lol. There's an old proverb, "A man chases a woman until she catches him". Meaning, use your beauty, intelligence and quick wit to snag the guy; just let him think that he's the one who is doing the pursuing.

Last edited by Janice : 03-05-2010 at 08:44 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2010, 04:26 PM   #8
The Great One
Senior Member
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 29, 2006
Posts: 6,373
Default

It definitely sounds like the guy you work with at school has feelings for you. It must be hard for him to express with words his interest in you so he does it by giving you a book, buying you hot chocolate, and spending lots of time with you. I think the best thing for you to do is to just ask direct questions so that you can know what thoughts are in his head and the feelings of his heart. That might be a scary thing for you to do but face your anxiety with courage and ask. Once you have done that, you will have turned your courage into confidence. You then will be filling your personal boundary with units of confidence. If you continue to do that, your personal boundary will be full of confidence which will allow you to accomplish many great things in your life. Do what is right, even if you are afraid. All the best to you!
__________________
.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2010, 08:47 PM   #9
Brian Damage
Moderator
Forum Legend
I'm Rich Bitch
 
Brian Damage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 03, 2002
Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What?
Posts: 62,202
Send a message via AIM to Brian Damage
Heart

It's always best for the woman to play it cool, at least in the beginning. You're not in a relationship with him yet. When that happens, they'll be plenty of time to share your feelings. Most men feel rushed and pressured if the girl initiates the talk about feelings when they're still in the friendship phase. It's too soon. Don't worry Ashlee. It sounds like he's falling for you.
__________________
The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3

Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010, 01:40 AM   #10
*Pleasant Tomorrow*
Forum Legend
Member
 
*Pleasant Tomorrow*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 19, 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 69,155
Default

Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond, guys. It really does help and make me feel better about this. It's early yet so yeah, just going to take it slow.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2010, 02:06 AM   #11
cyberalias81
Frequent Poster
Member
 
cyberalias81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 13, 2009
Location: Eastern USA
Posts: 123
Default

He's totally in to you.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2010, 11:37 PM   #12
Family Ties Forever!
Moderator
member
 
Join Date: Apr 16, 2002
Posts: 8,180
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janice
Whatever you do, don't ask him how he feels about you or tell him how you feel about him. You'll come off as clingy and insecure, and you're not. Let it unfold naturally. Some of the best relationships start off as friendships.

I agree. The last thing you want is to scare hm off by telling him how you feel. If it's meant to be, it will, but give it time. Good luck.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2010, 02:00 AM   #13
LuLu Rogers
Forum Veteran
Colonel Brandon
 
LuLu Rogers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 23, 2004
Location: The Hogwarts Dungeons
Posts: 11,000
Send a message via Yahoo to LuLu Rogers
Default

Everyone here has given you great advice Ashlee. Take it from someone who has screwed up many relationships: Don't be the pursuer, be the pursuee.
__________________
-Lauren-


"I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."-Professor Severus Snape
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2010, 12:31 AM   #14
*Pleasant Tomorrow*
Forum Legend
Member
 
*Pleasant Tomorrow*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 19, 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 69,155
Default

So since I'm a facebook stalker, I noticed he commented on a couple of pictures of some really pretty girl. "I like this pic" "ohh I really like this one, too" type of thing. Hasn't done that for me. Probs likes her...she's prettier anyway. End.

Yeah not even gonna bother now. I mean who am I kidding myself anyway, lol.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2010, 03:20 AM   #15
LuLu Rogers
Forum Veteran
Colonel Brandon
 
LuLu Rogers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 23, 2004
Location: The Hogwarts Dungeons
Posts: 11,000
Send a message via Yahoo to LuLu Rogers
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*
So since I'm a facebook stalker, I noticed he commented on a couple of pictures of some really pretty girl. "I like this pic" "ohh I really like this one, too" type of thing. Hasn't done that for me. Probs likes her...she's prettier anyway. End.

Yeah not even gonna bother now. I mean who am I kidding myself anyway, lol.


Don't let it get you down. Guys can be very hard to read sometimes. I still think this guy likes you, and why the hell wouldn't he? You're gorgeous Ashlee! You're also sweet and funny and have a great personality, what's not to love?
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:55 PM.


Although the administrators and moderators of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards, nor Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message. The owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.5.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.