Nell (2001-2002, 1st season episodes)

[JLKT]

A New Experience (episode 1)

(themes song is sung by Nell carter)
My name is N-E-L-L- that spells NELL
My name is Nell Harper , my married name is Nell Harper Hudson
I am about to go through a new experience, but that dont bother me because
Iam Nell, everybody say, Nell, Nell, Nell, WHATS MY NAME?
background yells (NELL!)

Nell- Oh my gosh, James I am so excited, I am finally getting away little
Glenlawn, I am in L.A. ready to experience and start my singing career.

James- Yeah Nell, it would have been much better, if your momma did not have
to move in with us.

Mother Maybelle- Now listen here sucker, it's bad enough I missed my own
daughters wedding, now just because I love Nell does not mean I have to love
you.

James- That's the same deal with ,me too.

Mother Maybelle- Well for once we have something in common we care about
Nell, now James try getting medical help, on your brain, and we'll both have
something else in common.
(James get mad and Mother Maybelle and James start fussing)

Nell- HEY! HEY! HEY!, WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP, WE ARE GOING TO BE A FAMILY NOW,
AND WE MINE AS WELL START ACTING LIKE IT.

James- She is right Mother Maybelle
Mother Maybelle- Yes she is, James you need to stop being a jackass, and
try to be a part of this damn family.
(James & Mother Maybelle argue again)

Nell- HEY LOOK THERE IS OUR NEW HOUSE, I AM SO EXCITED. James give me the
house key. Come on mom lets go into our new house, James get my luggage

Mother Maybelle- Hey James Since we are going to be friends and family, take
my luggage too, you big fat glob (starts laughing and goes with Nell)

James- If you weren't my mother in-law, MMMM!
_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------
(Nell,Mother Maybelle, and James are about to go into the new house, Nell
unlocks the door and turns the lights on)

Nell- AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mother Maybelle- Thank you JESUS , we finally made the jackpot.
(slams door in James face)
(James knocks on the door)
(mother maybelle answers door)

Mother Maybelle- James what are you doing outside the door, you should have
told us to hold the door open.
(James gets a frustrated look on his face and takes luggage upstairs)

Nell- Mom can you believe it, this house has everything new millenium things
in it.

Mother Maybelle- The Jeffersons may have gotten a piece of the pie , but

Nell& Mother Maybelle- WE GOT THE WHOLE PIE, YES!

James- Well everybody, your luggage is upstairs

Mother Maybelle- Good you gave me the largest room right?

James- Of course dear sweet mother in-law

Mother Maybelle- I always liked you, (chuckles an goes upstairs)

Nell- You did not give mom the biggest, room did you because that has a hot
tub in there just for me and you.

James- I did not give that room to your, mother, she won't notice it anyway.

Nell- Oh your evil I love it. (James and Nell kiss)

(mother Maybelle comes down stairs)

Mother Maybelle- Oh James and Nell, I just want you to know, I overheard what
you were saying, so I have the real big room, and you all can have the
medium, is that ok,'

Nell- Well mom you know....

Mother Maybelle- Thank you Nell I knew you would understand unlike your
idiotic husband( goes upstairs)

James- Nell first thing in the morning, lets put her in a Nursing Home
(Nell&James both laugh)
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--------------------------------------------
In the bedroom

Nell- You James, I am really enjoying this new experience, but I am starting
to miss, Samantha, and Chris, and my boys.

James- I miss them to, but since your mothers bedroom is far down the hall,
we can do something we have not done yet.

Nell- Oh baby turn the lights off

(jame turns the light off)

Nell- ok i am in birthday suit, are you
(Jame doesnt respond)

Nell- (moans) Oh Jame baby I know u are in your birthday suit

(end of first episode in season 2001-2002)


[This message has been edited by JLKT (edited 08-29-2001).]

[JLKT]

Nell's Lil Sister (episode 2)

(around the kitchen table)
Nell- Mom, James I am so nervouse. Today I start my singing career in the
night club, and I don't even know what I am going to sing.

Mother Maybelle- Sing "Bye Bye James" (chuckles)
(laughter from the audience)

James- NO Nell, why don't you sing it's not a long time to get to heaven.
(laughter from the audience)

(mother maybelle and James start fussing)

Nell- Ok you two stop fussing, I am already nervous, don't make me a nervouse
wreck.

James- Your right, your momma is a nervouse wreck why should you be
one?(chuckles)
(laughter from the audience)
(credits)

(Nell is practicing her songs)

Nell- To have his love, is all that a girl should want, and I don't know the
rest of the words! HELP ME JESUS!
(laughter from the audience)
(door bell rings)

(Nell answers the door, and gets shocked by surprise)

Nell- Valerie is that you?

Valerie- I'm afraid so Nell. Lil sister is back to bug her old looking lost
30 pounds, thank God BiG sISter.

Nell- And I'm about to strangle my lil sister, until the trumpet sounds!

(laughter from the audience)

Valerie- Nell I did not come here to fuss, but I need a place to stay.

Nell- WELL CINDERELLA HAS TURNED INTO THE PO WICKED WITCH OF Chicago, huh?!!!
(laughter from audience)

Valerie- I gues I deserve that. All my life I have tried to be something and
now , it has came true.

Nell- Well what a job did you get.

Valerie- Its not a job it is my career.

Nell- Oh good I have a career too, I am singing at a night club tonite called
Blues&Rhythym

Valerie- OH BIG SISTER THAT IS GREAT (dances around and around)

Nell- Why is it so GREAT!

Valerie- My career is singing, and I am singing for Blues&Rhythym also, Big
Sister, we are working together.

Nell- MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAS THY FORSAKEN ME ,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(audience laughs and applauds)
(goes on commercial break)
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---------------------------------------------(Mother Maybelle and James walk
in arguing, while Valerie is watching t.v)

Valerie- WILL YOU TWO QUIET DOWN PLEASE!

Mother Maybelle & James- Sorry Valerie. VALERIE!!!!!!!
(audience laughs)

Valerie- SURPRISED!

Mother Maybelle- You bet I am my baby is here

James- NELL! NELL! NELL!

Nell- WHAT!WHAT WHAT!

James- What is your retarded sister doing here?

Mother Maybelle- Who are you calling retarded, don't you ever talk about my
daughter like that, because your brother is bigger than the whole equator
combined.

Nell- Momma don't start. Gues what momma, Valerie is also singing at the same
club I am, and I must be honest, WHY ME LORD, WHY ME ! (starts crying)
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- You should be proud for your sister you two can finally
share something.
Nell- Yeah thats right, but she'll be out by tonite.

Valerie- Oh thats another thing, I was assigned this same house, I think we
are living together.

Nell- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DADDY I'M COMING HOME TO YA, I 'M COMING
HOME!!!!!!(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- This is great, us a family all together, me and my daughters
Nell, and Valerie and my mental son in law James.(laughter from theaudience)


James- Mother Maybelle, are you ready to go to the Nursing HOME
(audience laughs)

Nell- Well I am getting ready to practice my songs, Valerie are you going to
practice?

Valerie- No I can really sing, but go on you need all the practice you can
get.

(James holds Nell back and takes her up the stairs)
(audience laughs)
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---------------------------------------------
At Blues & Rhythym Club

(Mother Maybelle, James, and Valerie are in the audience at the club and Nell
has just started singinig)

Nell- To have his love, Is all, is all, that a girl could want.
to hold him close is heaven, to watch the sun come up each day. With joy, I
took a chance, and ther he was. For MEEEEEEE. Look what got to kiss everynite
now. Look what to got to hold hands in the park with. I got man. I got a
brand new dance, Motion (background Motion) Look what I got, i GOT LOVE I GOT
LOVE I GOT Love. (audience applauds) Thank you. Now my sister will perform.

Valerie- No Nell

Nell- Come on

Mother Maybelle- Go on make me proud of you also

James- yeah Valerie

Nell- Come on Valerie.
(audience in club says sing Valerie)

Valerie- LOOK OKAY I CAN'T SING, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB, I GOT FIRED, I LOST
A GOOD AMOUNT OF,MONEY. WELL NELL I HOPE YOUR HAPPY, HONEY, FINALLY YOU ARE A
SUCCESS AND I AM A FAILURE.

Nell- Now Valerie.....

Valerie- SHUT UP NELL, I HAVE LET YOU YELL AT ME LONG ENOUGH, NOW JUST GET
OFF MY DAMN BACK. (storms out, Nell has shock on her face.)
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---------------------------------------------Back at Nell's home

Nell- Valerie can I come in your room

Valerie- I guess you can, we need to talk though

Nell-Valerie, I am sorry, I didn't mean to embarass you like that

Valerie- No Nell you shouldn't be sorry. I am the sorry one, I should not
have snapped at you like that.

Nell- Honey don't be sorry, the crowd thought it was an act they loved it,
but I wouldn't go near mom tonite. She said if she wasn't 78 she would break
both of your arms off.(audience laughs)

Valerie-Mom is still the same old mom. Well I guess I better leave

Nell- No Valerie we are sisters, and we have been apart long enough. Tonite I
am going to make a big step. As your big sister, I demand that you move in
with me mom, and James.

Valerie- Really? I don't know what to say.

Nell- Say yes, I can't fake my smile for long
(audience laughs)

Valerie- What the heck, I'll move in.

Nell- So you wanna be my favorite sister again?

Valerie- I to be more than your sister i want us to be friends

Nell- I love you little sister.

Valerie- I love you big sister.
(both hug audience applauses, screen freezes, end of 2 episode)

See what happens next week when Valerie makes a mistake and invites a man to
her room, for more than just a talk. next week when
"NELL" returns

[JLKT]

Valerie and The Man (episode 3)

(Jackee Harris who portrays Valerie Harper, is added to the credits)

(Nell and Mother Maybelle are watching Lady Sings The blues, while they are
watching Valerie sneaks upstairs with a man)

Nell- This movie is so good, I tell you, Diana Ross did a good job on this
movie.

Mother Maybell- Oh please Nell, the only thing she does on this movie is get
high every 3 seconds.
(laughter from the audience)

Nell- I knew I should have watched this movie with James,(turns tv off)

Mother Maybelle- Why because I hate non satified movies. Nell may God strike
you dead. (goes in kitchen)

Nell- That woman is getting more senial everyday.
(laughter from audience)
(James comes in)

Nell- Hey baby, did you win the case?

James-You know I did, I am just like Hulk Holgan
(audience laughs)

Nell- James he is a wrestler
(audience laughs)

James- Oh

Nell- Well Valarie is not home yet, I am going to go fix her room up
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----------------------------
Valarie bedroom
Valarie- Oh, Oh yeah baby (moan and groans)
(Nell walks in shocked)
Nell- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Valarie- UH-OH!,

Nell- Valarie put ur clothes on and get down stairs immedeatly
oh and sir, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!!!!!
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--------------------------------------------
(iN Kitchen)
Nell- Well, Well, Well

Valarie- Nell stay calm

Nell- STAY CALM, STAY CALM, HOW CAN I STAY CALM, YOU SNEAKED A MAN UPSTAIRS
AND DID SOMETHING UNDER MY ROOF THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING BEFORE YOU ARE
MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(audience laughs)

Valarie- Nell don't be so loud, I don't want Mama to hear you

Nell- Ok I wont tell mama that you SLEPT WITH A SINGLE MAN UNDER MY
ROOF!!!!!!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Valarie Feather Harper, how dare you do such a dumb thing,
you know what the good word says. It says don't...

Nell- Mama this is a conflict not a sermon.
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Well I'll just flee mmmmm!!!! (goes to living room)

Valarie- Nell I HAVE A RIGHT TO DO WHAT I WANT, IN THIS HOUSE.

Nell- WELL THIS IS MY HOUSE AND AS LONG AS YOU ARE UNDERNEATH MY ROOF YOU
WILL OBEY MY RULES AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, Theres the door!!!!!

Valarie- WELL I'LL TAKE THE DOOR!!!!!!!! leaves.

Nell- HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING I FUSSED YOU NOW I GOTTA CUSS YA
(audience laughs)
(commercial breakA)
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-------------------------------------------

Mother Maybelle- You know Nell I really think you need to talk things over
with your sister

Nell- What she did was wrong

Mother Maybelle- Oh that is the pot calling the kettle blue!!!!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- I remember when you were 14 yrs old, and you did something
wrong and ran away, but I forgave, u no matter how retarded you were. Plus
you should really love ur sister, she didn't put me through a lot of pain
during her birth, but you Nell!

Nell- Mama don't tell that story!

Mother Maybelle- 3 hours, 3 whole hours.

Nell-You mom I think I am going to Valarie now.
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--------------------------------------------
Valarie- Nell what do you want

Nell- A piece of cake
(audience laughs)

Nell- I just want you to move back, in and my home is your home, but IF I
CATCH THAT PO MAN BACK IN THERE, GIRL YOU'LL SEE JESUS

(screen freezes ) (show ends)
end of the 3 episode of Nell

[JLKT]

Mother Maybelle Goes to Jail (episode 4)

Guest starring-Countess Vaughn as Pamela
King
Ken Berry- Police Officer

Nell- James I am mad. Momma should be back home by now, and how can we have
chicken with hot sauce!!
(audience laughs)

James- Well I usually eat chicken with out sauce

Valarie- Well me and Nell don't

Nell- It is suppose to give me more energy, and it gives Valarie more mouth
becasue she never shuts up

Valarie- Yeah and he helps your weight stay down haha got you back
(audience laughs)
(phone rings)

Nell- Hello, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I'll be there in a minute

Valarie- What happended,

Nell- Mamas in , jail I am going to bail her out.
(Nell leaves)

Valarie- I better go with her, she forgot her purse and that is where her
money is.
(audience laughs Valarie leaves)

James- This family needs a psychologists
(he laughs audience laughs)
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------------------------------------------
(at Jail)

Mother Maybelle- I can not believe that I, a woman in her late 70's is in
jail, and it is all your fault.

Kim King- Now listen hear old woman this would have never happened if you did
not take my hair piece off, to get in the front of the meat and food
supplies.(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- What is your name?

Kim King- My name is Kim King

Mother Maybelle- Oh I thought your name was hoochie MAMA!!!!!
(audience laughs, Mother Maybelle and Kim King get into a huge fist fight)
police officer goes in cell and breaks it up)

Police Officer- I wish you two would sit down, and shut up, i am watching my
favorite show, The Teletbubbies.
(audinece laughs police officer leaves cell and locks it again)

Kim King- I don't why I am in this jail, I just came here for vacation

Mother Maybelle- When do you leave?
(audience laughs)

Kim King- When are you going to GLORY??!!!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Watch it YOUNG BAT, your not too old to get a butt
whippin!!!!! (audience laughs)

(Nell and Valarie walks in)
Nell- Hi officer I am here to bail out my mother, Maybelle Harper

Officer- Thank you God!!!
(audience laughs)

Officer- Shes right there over in that cell, I'll be back, with a lette from
the chief.Hey aren't you Nell Harper from Glenlawn

Nell- Yes but I have moved down here in L.A.

Officer- I use to work for your ex chief , remeber i used to tell you those
longs stories like the time my Uncle Toe Nail , was......

Nell- I remember you and I must kindly say shut up and get my check!!!!!
(Officer leaves and gets check)

Valarie- NELL!!

Nell- Oh shut up Valarie, dont hate a rough neck.
(audience laughs)

Nell and Valarie- Mama What happended?

Kim King- Your old bat of a mother ripped my hair piece out andwe got into a
fight.

Valarie- Are you a hoochie mama?
(audience laughs)

Nell- Come on mama we are going home and forgetting about all this okay

Mother Maybelle leaves cell with Nell

Mother Maybelle- okay, and Kim?

Kim King- WHAT!!!!

Mother Maybelle- Tell your Mama that I am sorry for her for having a TRAMP
LIKE YOU!!!!
(audience laughs and applause show ends)

[JLKT]

Nell, the Choir Director (episode 5)

(credits)
(Nell, Valarie, James, and Mother Maybelle are just coming back from church)

Mother Maybelle- Oh Praise the LORD!! If that man didn't preach today.

Nell- Yes momma, you have said that 30 times in the car, and I have heard the
sermon and announcements all over again.
(audience laughs)

Valarie- Well Nell, one of those announcements really suite you.

James- She's right Nell why dont you become the new choir director, I mean
come on, me, you, Valarie and mother Maybelle, have been singing in the choir
and we all know, we need a good professional choir director.

Nell- So what are you saying, you want me to become the new choir director?

Mother Maybelle- That is exactly what we are saying.

Nell- Well I'll take the job.

Mother Maybelle- Good because I already told the pastor you would do it.
(audience laughs)

Valarie- Mom may be old but she has a brain of a 21 year old.
(audience laughs)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------
(3 weeks later Nell has that choir singing hard during sunday service at
church)
Choir- Jesus is blessing me, Jesus is blessing. He blessingggg ME!!!

Nell's Solo- He blessing oh yes, he blessing m. He blessing me, yeah He's
blessing me.

Choir-Yeah He's blessing me. (song ends congregation claps.)

Pastor Newman- Oh praise the LORD. I am so happy and thankful that Sister
Nell Carter Hudson
has taken the role of choir director, because
with sister Ethel, the choir sucked. Thank God
she has been taken by the LORD!!
(audience laughs)
congregation- amen

Pastor Newman- So let's give Sister Nell Carter Hudson a hand clap, because
she is dominant.
(congregation claps)

Nell- I can not believe it I am dominant,eeeeeeeeee!!! I am so excited.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------
(the next week, before Gospel sunday)

choir- Sunrise, I'm gonna praise his name, sunset, I'm gonna praiseeeee.......

(Nell bangs the choir director stick)

Nell- WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING!!!!! THAT IS NOT THE WAY IT IS SUNG!!!!!

Valarie- Now Nell we are doing the best we can do .

Nell- Well, MAKE IT BETTER!!!!

Memeber of Choir- Nell you are getting on my nerves,

Nell- OH I AM,WELL SO ARE YOU NOW SHUTUP!!!
(audience laughs)

Nell- Start the DAMN MUSIC NOW!!!!!
(audience laughs)

Choir- Sunriseeee......
(Nell bangs stick again)

Nell- That is it YOU PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SING THIS SONG RIGHT, BECAUSE AS
LONG AS I HAVE THIS STICK YOU WILL SING THIS SONG THE WAY I SAID TO SING
IT!!!!!
(a member of the choir walks down and breaks the stick)

Memeber of Choir- Now you have no stick bye!!
(that member leaves and so do the others)

Nell- Well fine but atleast I have my family with me.

Valarie, Mother Maybelle& James- WHO SAID WE WERE STAYING!!!!
(valarie , mother maybelle, and James leave)

Nell- Well fine, who needs you all!!!!! (Nell starts crying)
(audience applauds
((commercial break))
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------

(Nell just arrives home, and James is in the living room waiting for Nell)

Nell- Hi traitor
(audience laughs)

James- Nell sitdown

Nell- NO!

James- sitdown Nell

Nell- NO!

James- SITDOWN NELL OR I WILL FORGET OUR ANNIVERSARY ON PURPOSE!!!!
(Nell sitsdown)
(audience laughs)

James- Nell why are you acting retarded!!

Nell- Because I am the choir director and the preacher said I was dominant.

James- He was being sarcastic Nell.

Nell- I don't think so.

James- Well Nell, you don't have a choir at all right, now and tommorrow at
church you have a decesion, to either apologize, or go down in history as the
choir director that went to HELL!!!
(James leaves, audience laughs)
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-------------------
(at the church)

Pastor Newman-Well sisters and brothers, the good news is, there is no good
news.
(audience laughs)

Pastor Newman-Unfortunatley the choir quit because of one lady.

Nell- Pastor?

Pastor- speak of the devil yes Nell?

Nell- may i say a few words?

Pastor- Sure

Nell- Pastor, congregation, choir, I deeply truly am sorry, for behaving like
a jerk. When I got the title , I thought I was royality and I ......

Mother Maybelle- Lost your mind?
(audience laughs)

Nell- Yeah I lost my mind, so I am sorry, and I am begging for forgivness.

James sings- Put your hand in the hand of the man who still the water

Valarie- Put your hand in the hand of the man who comes to sea

Mother Maybelle - Take a look at yourself and you may look at others
differently, put your hand in the hand of the man from Gailalee.
(all the other choir members come up and sing "Put your hand in the hand of
the Man"

(show ends with choir singing)

Tune in next week when there is a hillarious dance contest next week on "NELL"

only on NBC!!

[JLKT]

Dance Contest!!!! (episode 6)
Guest starring Dick Clark as himself
((credits))

Nell- Oh Mother Maybelle I have found out the exciting news of my life!!

Mother Maybelle- Oh , good James finally got a brain honey?
(audience laughs)

Nell-No Dick Clark is coming down here for one of his dancing contests, and
I and James are going to be in it, and you and Valarie are coming to be our
support.

Mother Maybelle- Well I know one thing Nell, I am sure you and James will win
that dance contest.

Nell- Oh thank you momma.
(goes upstairs)

Mother Maybelle- They are dead octupus!!!!
(audience laughs)
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--------------------------------------------
(at the dance hall)

Nell- James we are here at the dance hall, I can't belive it.

Valarie whispers to Mother Maybelle- I can't believe that they actually think
they can dance!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Oh don't worry it'll kick them in the butt soon enough.
(audience laughs)

Valarie- If they fill a kick it'll be each other they are doing it too.
(Valarie and Mother Maybelle laughs, and audience laughs)

James - Alright Nell lets go backstage and practice one more time I am ready
to dance

Nell- So am I whoo, disco fever whoo!!!!
(audience laughs, Nell and James go backstage, Valarie and Mother Maybelle
sitdown)

Valarie- Mama, see that man staring at you?

Mother Maybelle- who?

Valarie- Him

Mother Maybelle- Oh , that is Wilson Bailey,he is the man I wanted to be the
first.

Valarie-(pauses) the first what ?

Mother Maybelle- The first to enter my cream.
(audience laughs)

Valarie- Oh i wonder where i got my cravings from
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle-Well i am glad i waited until i was married but, your fathers
dead now and I have too....

Valarie- Go and get yourself a man, here he comes

Wilson Bailey-Hey Ms. Maybelle looking finer and hotter everyday.

Mother Maybelle- OH ENTER ,MY CREAM!!!!
(audience laughs)

Valarie- Momma , save that for later, you havent seen each other for a long
time, you never did have sex with each other, and believe me it is too late
for that.
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Sitdown Wilson, with us the show is about to start.

Dick Clark- Hello L.A. and welcome to this years dance contest.

Wilson Bailey whispers to Mother Maybelle- I am going to let on I have to go
to work, and i will be waiting for you in the backseat of my car behind this
place so nobody will see us handling our buisness.
(audience laughs and squeals)

Mother Maybelle whispers to him back- Ok but we can do it free style, we are
in our late 70's better enjoy it raw while we can.
(audience laughs)

Wilson Bailey- Well i gotta to go to work bye Maybelle, seeyah soon.

Mother Maybelle- Sooner than you can imagine.
(both chuckle)
(Valarie looks at them weird audience laughs)
((commercial break))
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-----------------
(still at the dance hall)

Dick Clark- Now for are last and final dancers James and Nell Hudson

Mother Maybelle- I have to go Valarie to the center for a late party but let
on I saw it.

Valarie- ok bye.
(mother maybelle leaves switching and audience laughs)

music starts, and James and Nell start dancing. Nell does the twist but
falls, and James tries to do backflip and flips right through a table.
(audience laughs)

Valarie- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I luv this encore HAHA!!
(audience laughs)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------
(back at home)

Nell- I am so embarssed

James- I am so embarassed too.

Valarie- and I am cracking up haha!!
(audience laughs)

Nell- Where is mom

Valarie- She went to the center but saw you're performance she was cracking
up.
She left quickly right after Wilson....... UH OH

Nell- Oh God, you dont mean.....

Valarie- yes...

Valarie and Nell- OH NO MOMMA IS GET SOME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
(audience laughs)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------

(it is 1:30 a.m. , mother maybelle are in the backseat of Wilson car, doing
you know what)
(audience laughs when they see car all steamed in the front.)

Mother Maybelle- oh take me home Wilson

Wilson-I'll go faster for ya, want me to work my mojo faster?
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- oh yeah thats it uh oh uoh (moans and groans) oh do my
cream uh oh yes uh oh yes uhoh yes whoo.(it finally stops)

Wilson- That was good

Mother Maybelle- it was good to you but it felt great on the inside.
(audience laughs)

Wilson- How long did it last?

Mother Maybelle- about 5 hours and i am ready to go home.

Wilson- Well my mojo is ready for more, when is the last time you made luv?

Mother Maybelle- When I was 35 yrs old, that is whenI had birth to Valarie.

Wilson- The last time I made luv was when I was 24 and I am craving and so
are you.
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- I think we got enough good stuff tonite, now I am going home
and there is nothing u can do too stop.
(wilson goes on top of her and enters)

Mother Maybelle- Oh what the hell, do me until morning. OH BIG DADDY DO ME!!!
(moans and groans loudly)
(audience laughs and applauds)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------

(it is 11 a.m. in the morning and Valarie and Nell and James are waiting for
Mother Maybelle and she walks in)

Valarie- Nell look who it is, MOTHER !!!
(audience laughs)

Nell- Well where have you been, you sure were'nt at the center and you
were'nt at the store because you sweating like hell.
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Alright Nell, yes I made love last night,from 9pm to 10:30
a.m.

James- I think I am going to be sick, I am going to work early bye.
(James leaves) (audience laughs)

Valarie- With Wilsom?

Mother Maybelle- Yes who else could make my cream feel so much better inside.
Whoo, is it hott in hear?
(loud laughter from the audience)

Nell- Why momma why?

Mother Maybelle- I have been craving for real love and I got it. I had not
made love since I was 35. And Wilson made me feel so good, he was going fast
and everything.I also got thirsty, so I asked him if I could have a drink,
and he said yes., So i thought he was going to get a soda, he put my head
down, and I drank his........

Nell- THAT IS IT GO TO YOUR ROOM MAMA!!!!!!
(audience laughs Mother Maybelle leaves to room)

Nell- Can you believe that?

Valarie- Yes i mean she found luv and she deserves it.

Nell- I guess your're right but the next time me and u are putting her in a
home.
(audience laughs)
(show ends)

Tune in next week when Nell gets a deal of a lifetime. Find out what it is
next week on "NELL"

this is episode 6 of season 2001-2002

[JLKT]

Nell The Recording Artist (episode 7)

Guest Starring- Destiny's Child

(credits) Episode 7 of 2001-2002

(Nell is at her job at the singing studio)

Nell just finishing a song- And let it be a starrrrrrrrr. Yeah!!

Mr. Histon- Nell you are getting greater everyday.

Nell- Thankyou Mr.Histon. Well I am getting ready to go.

Mr.Histon- Oh no Nell I want you to hear this very popular group.

Nell- Who are they?

Mr.Histon- Find out for yourself.
(Destiny's Child walks in the audience goes wild and cheers and claps)

Nell- Oh My Gosh, it is Destiny's Child, Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle.
Can I be in your next video I am bootylicous also.
(audience laughs)

Beyonce- We'll take that into consideration, but we don't know you.
(audience laughs)

Nell- Oh forgive me, I am Nell Harper Hudson a local singer for the jazz and
blues club.

Kelly&Michelle-You sing?
(audience laughs)

Nell- You bet I can blow my horn louder than Lena Horn!!!
(audience laughs)

Beyonce- Well why don't you show us what you got.

Nell- That is a good idea. Mistro please play song 3.
(music starts)

Nell sings- Put me on your checklist, dont let me get away.
For I need your love I need your trust too.
BECAUSE THATS WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS.
I am a survivor I am bootylicous woo!!
(nell continues audience laughs)
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---------------------------------------------

(back at Nells place,Mother Maybelle,and James are fussing away.)

James- Now listen here you old hag,just because your old does not mean I
won't knock out unconscious!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- And just because your fat(pauses) Oh wait a minute
your fat you can't even run hahahahahah.
(audience laughs.Nell enters)

Nell- Mom,James,you'll never believe what happened to me today.

Mother Maybelle- Oh Nell you finally divorced your idiotic husband?!!
(audience laughs)

Nell- Better than that.
(audience laughs)

Nell- I sang one of my songs for Destiny's Child, and I got a recording deal
from columbia.

James-You mean to tell me , you have hit another jackpot?!!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- That is what she said fool, need an hearing aid?
(audience laughs)

James- Oh Nell I am so proud of you, now try putting your mom in
Shady Pines. (audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- Oh no you don't a friend of mine that use to live in Newyork
named Sophia Petrillo, she said picture it,Miami 1979, it.............

Nell- Momma he just made a suggestion and that does not call for a liftime
biography!!!!
(audience laughs,Valarie comes in from the kitchen running)

Valarie-Oh my goodnes,oh my goodness, oh my goodness!.
(audience)

Nell- What happened Valarie.

Valarie Nell(pauses) Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, guess what?
Destinys Child is in our kitchen.
(Mother Maybelle,James and Nell run into the kitchen pushing Valarie down
audience laughs)

Beyonce-Hi Mrs.Nell Harper Hudson

Nell- please call me Nell.

Mother Maybelle- Oh I luv your group I just love it. You know what Michelle,
when I was your age I use to loook just like you
I remember back in I think the 1960's
I...........

Nell- SHUTUP MOM!!!!!!
(audience laughs)

James- I tell you if I was single I.........

Michelle- You would never get with us too old.
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- You are just like me,wanna talk?

Michelle- No I don't want to break my eardrums
(audience laughs)

Kelly-Nell we need to speak to you alone.
(Mother Maybelle and James stand still)

Mother Maybelle- You heard them James go on.
(audience laughs)

Nell- That means you too Mama.

Mother Maybelle- I am staying.

Nell- Shady Pines

Mother Maybelle-By ya all.
(audience laughs, Maybelle and James leave)

Nell- What do you all want?

Beyonce- Nell our producers really love the way you sing,and they want you to
make a debut, but you will have to spend 6 weeks in Las Vegas.

Nell- LAS VEGAS?

Beyonce-Yes

Nell-LAS VEGAS?
(audience laughs)

Kelly- Yes

Nell- Las Vegas?
(audience laughs)

Michelle-Yes

Nell- LAS VEGAS?

Beyonce,Michelle and Kelly-YES YES YES YES!!!!!
(audience laughs)

Nell- I'll do it, I'll do it.

Kelly-I knew you would group hug you all.
(Nell and Destinys Child hug)
((commercial break))
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------
(back at the house )

Nell- James,Mom,Valarie , We are going to Las Vegas for 6 weeks.

James and Valarie-Yes

Mother Maybelle- why?
(audience laughs)

Nell- I am about to record my first cd.

Mother Maybelle- Now look I told you next week I am going to see Sophia in
Miami.

Valarie- Come on mom stop being so lazy for once in your final years
(audience laughs)

Nell- That is okay,Loretta can come with us.

Valarie-You mean the sister in the middle.

Nell- Yeah and we can turture her to death.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

James-Well it is settled, me you Valarie and Loretta are going to Las Vegas
for 6weeks, and Mother Maybelle
is staying at Miami for 6 weeks thank you God. And with Mother
Maybelle in Miami and us in
Las Vegas you know what this means.

Nell and Valarie- Yeah this will be the best trip ever!!!!
(audience laughs)

Mother Maybelle- No it means, I will be able to get it on with Wilson again
since he lives in Miami ha ha!!!

Nell and Valarie-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
(audience laughs)
((show ends))

[Sitcomwriter]

This is HYSTERICAL.Please do more.