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Old 02-10-2009, 08:16 AM   #1
justins5256
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Default Friend getting married, I don't approve, yet I'm his best man...

A long time friend of mine is getting married this coming Sunday. He is already married actually (they signed papers and had them notarized a few months ago) so this is more of a mock wedding/ceremony more than anything else. He asked me some time go to be his best man and I agreed. The problem is, I really dislike his wife. I would even go so far as to say that I think he is making a big mistake. I have to give the toast. What should I say? I'm really at a loss here.

Thanks,
Justin
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:31 AM   #2
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Unfortunately, the deed has been done and your job is now just to support your friend and be honored that he chose you as his best man. You have to keep your feelings to yourself at all costs and especially when you give the speech and toast. Here's some examples I found for you. You can maybe take parts of a couple or more and piece them together. I'd just go with how lovely the bride looks today...yadda...yadda and how you wish them much happiness. Besides, luckily the toast from the best man is more for the groom so you really don't even have to say much about the bride. Hope these help:

You can use these free sample speeches as is, or you can cut and paste sections to make your own. If you have an original best man speech you would like to submit then please email it to sales@gunthergifts.com and we will send you a free gift as a way of saying thank you. Enjoy!

Best Man Speech #1 (Funny)

Everyone - please raise your glasses and join me in toasting Joanna and Kevin. As I begin this wedding speech one of the first thoughts that come to mind is... if I'm the best man... than why is Joanna getting married to Kevin? (Pause when people laugh) I guess because today, I am just an average man and Kevin is the best man. (pause) In my extensive research to find out how to deliver a great best man speech, I learned that I am expected to sing the praises of the groom and tell you what a wonderful guy Kevin is. Unfortunately, I'm a bad singer and a bad liar. (Pause when people laugh) Kevin... Joanna is a wonderful, beautiful, kind and good hearted person who deserves a great husband. Thank goodness you snapped her up before she found one. (Pause when people laugh) All kidding aside - I'm honored to be here today... I love you both and wish you many years of happy marriage. Cheers!




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Best Man Speech #2

Ladies and gentlemen. It takes a strong and intelligent man to realize his dreams and achieve his goals in life and love. A man that is not afraid to live life to its fullest and embrace what is truly important. But enough about me... I'm here to talk about John and Katherine. Two people who have come together today to form a union that will surely last forever. [raise your glass and face the bride] Katherine... you look absolutely beautiful. John is lucky to have found such a wonderful gal to share his life with. John is my best friend and I'm honored that he chose me to be his best man on this most important day in your lives. I wish you both peace and happiness in your new life together and may God bless your union.
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Best Man Speech #3

Ladies and gentleman. I met John in 1990. We have been friends for over 17 years. In that time, he has proven himself to be not only a great friend, but a truly good man as well. I value my friendship with John and I look forward to having the same great friendship with his lovely new bride Katherine. I know one important thing about Katherine. She has made John happier then I have ever seen him. Today is a day of joy and happiness for all of us. But it is not just a day... it's the very special beginning of a new life between John and Katherine. I wish you both health and happiness and may God bless your marriage.


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Best Man Speech #4

To my friends - old and new. It's an honor for me to be here... to celebrate this very special day for John and Katherine. Dale Carnegie once said: "Don't ask a man what is important to him. Watch how he spends his time." I've watched John spend his time, and I can see what's important to him. It's Katherine. She has made John a happy man... a man with a new focus... a man with a new appreciation for love and life. I've known John and Katherine for 8 years and I can honestly say that they are perfect for one another. They were both fantastic people when they met. Now as a team, they will embark on a new adventure together as man and wife. John and Katherine [raise glass) I toast you, and wish you both peace, health and happiness.


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Best Man Speech #5

John & Katherine - I stand here today to toast you. To celebrate your new union together. You have now become part of the most important team. Team McDonald [bride & groom's last name]. All your joys will now be magnified by two because you can share them together. All your trials and tribulations have now been halved - because you can now solve them together. In marriage, you promise to care about everything. The good things, the bad things and the mundane. You promise to each other that life will not go unwitnessed, because you will witness it with each other. John & Katherine...this is just the beginning. The best is yet to come.


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Best Man Speech #6

John & Katherine. The truest meaning of marriage is the magic of being needed by just one person. The two of you have come together to share your lives and realize your dreams. Today you are husband and wife. This is day one of a great adventure and I'm honored to be able to share it with you. Remember that great opportunities to help each other seldom come... but small ones will surround you everyday. I toast you... and wish you a long marriage filled with love and above all, laughter.


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Best Man Speech #7

Karen & Jim - every great relationship starts with rings. In the beginning, the phone would ring and the just the thought of speaking to one another was exciting. Your love grew and so did your commitment to each other. The engagement ring soon came after. There were no doubts... your love was true. The engagement ring has now turned into a wedding ring and we are all here today to celebrate your marriage. Now of course... the suffer-ring begins. (smile and raise your glass) Peace and happiness to the new bride and groom!


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Best Man Speech #8

Bill & Mary - What a great day to get married! Marriage carries new responsibilities. Mary - from now on, you should never argue or disagree with Bill, because he is now the head of the family and the king of his castle. You will be expected to keep your hair and makeup perfect at all times - to dress in a way that pleases Bill. You should cook his favorite meals every night and encourage him to go out with his friends on a regular basis. Do these simple things and your marriage will be blessed with many years of happiness. Mary - I know that Bill loves you very much... because he spent a long time writing this speech for me. Congratulations to the both of you!

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You can always google to find more. And why do I know this advice? Because my brother married a girl I never really liked.
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:50 AM   #3
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TripperFan - these are great, thanks. I was nervous because I thought this had to be a long speech, but I know I can handle it now.

Thanks again and take care,
Justin
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:53 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justins5256
TripperFan - these are great, thanks. I was nervous because I thought this had to be a long speech, but I know I can handle it now.

Thanks again and take care,
Justin


Good Stuff! Glad I could help. Yah, it doesn't have to be long. I'd go with short and sweet and keep it light and funny.

You're being a good friend and that's why your buddy chose you! Once your "duties" are done, just sit back and enjoy the party. Who knows, maybe the bride has a sister who's her complete opposite!
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:53 AM   #5
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If I were in your situation and the wedding is Sunday, I would suddenly get a bad cold about late friday night.
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:11 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoneboy
If I were in your situation and the wedding is Sunday, I would suddenly get a bad cold about late friday night.

I won't say that the thought hasn't crossed my mind, but I don't think I could do that to him.
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:12 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripperFan
Who knows, maybe the bride has a sister who's her complete opposite!

I don't think my wife would appreciate that.
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:17 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by justins5256
I don't think my wife would appreciate that.


Yaaaaahhhh, that could pose a problem when it comes to go home that night.

Well then, you're definitely in the clear after the speech!
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:22 AM   #9
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Well, had this been a while ago (like 2 weeks or longer) I would have said I'M REALLY REALLY BAD AT SPEAKING IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU ASKED SOMEONE ELSE to get out of it, since you obviously don't feel comfortable about it.

You pretty much have have to do it now (unless you can come up with a GOOD EXCUSE not too - and honestly I can't think of one outside of extreme illness or worse - anyone have ideas on ducking out gracefully cause these are all I can think of)

I think TrippperFan's approach is the best. Keep it simple, neutral and short. Say she looks lovely and you wish them happiness. Also ask people you respect and trust for their opinions. I hope Janice rings in on this. She's extremely sensible and always has good advice.
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Old 02-10-2009, 01:13 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OH Nuts!
Well, had this been a while ago (like 2 weeks or longer) I would have said I'M REALLY REALLY BAD AT SPEAKING IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU ASKED SOMEONE ELSE to get out of it, since you obviously don't feel comfortable about it.

You pretty much have have to do it now (unless you can come up with a GOOD EXCUSE not too - and honestly I can't think of one outside of extreme illness or worse - anyone have ideas on ducking out gracefully cause these are all I can think of)

I think TrippperFan's approach is the best. Keep it simple, neutral and short. Say she looks lovely and you wish them happiness. Also ask people you respect and trust for their opinions. I hope Janice rings in on this. She's extremely sensible and always has good advice.
agreed. at this point i think the best thing to do is just go along with it.

my best friend rushed into a marriage last summer that i didn't approve of at all. his "wife" wanted me to be her bridesmaid. i didn't even go to the wedding and basically dealt with it by relentlessly making fun of the entire situation. but it would take a lot of explaining to put it all into perspective.
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