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Old 01-02-2009, 02:09 PM   #16
Sara Micelli
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I agree with you too, though. Yeah, it'd hurt me...but if they're not going to use it they might as well, really.
Yeah, it is a bit of a conundrum.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:14 PM   #17
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I wanted to get some opinions about this:
Maybe it's just me, but I think it depends on what the gift is. If it's something useful or something the person obviously put a lot of time and effort into(like a DVD player or gift basket), I think it's rude to just give it away. But if it's something that I'd never use, should I really just let it sit around forever and take up space? Wouldn't it be better to give it to someone who would actually appreciate it and use it? I can honestly see why regifting might hurt someone's feelings, but I really do think it's acceptable in certain situations. If someone gives the gift away, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't appreciate the thought behind it. Or at least that's what I was always taught. Am I just weird?
I agree with every word you wrote. I give lots of stuff away that I have no use for, such as candles or yet another candy dish, lol. I'm just sure not let the person who gave me the gift know about it.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:34 PM   #18
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for me, it depends. if it was something i bought from a store and they didn't like it, then it wouldn't upset as much, BUT if it was something that i made myself and that it took a lot of time and effort, then yes i'd be dissapointed and perhaps upset.

of course, the thing most people do if they are not sure of what to get their loved ones is a gift card, but for me, i feel as if they deserve something which they can make use of, as well as that it means something to them. with a gift card, they can pick and choose and spend it on whatever they like, and yet that for me, takes away the actual gift giving experience.

i got some dvds for xmas but i told my sister it was a nice gesture but they weren't what i wanted. thankfully, she was so understanding and didn't hesitate in going against me exchanging it for cash at dvd exchange store.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:54 PM   #19
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If I spend a great deal of time, effor and cash on a gift to someone whom I was close to and they gave it away, I would be hurt. If it was a situation where I bought them a gift they already had or a shirt that was the wrong size and they gave it away and were up front about it, that wouldnt bother me too much.
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:39 PM   #20
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Okay, here's another example, which probably won't be so cut and dry. A few year's ago, I noticed my father's sandals were getting ratty looking. Money was never an issue with him. He just wasn't one to go shopping, and my mother was ill. I bought him a new pair, that looked like his sandals; only the ones I bought were high-end Timberlands for $70.

My father was also the type to give a person the shirt off his back. Literally, if a loved one complimented him on something, he gave it to them. Knowing this, when I gave him the new sandals, I asked him to please let me know if he didn't want them or wanted something else. I told him I could exchange them for sneakers or whatever he wanted. I bought them at Famous Footwear. My father told me that he loved them. He put them on, walked around the room. I gave them to him for no occasion; it wasn't his birthday or Christmas.

I was at my parents a few days later. My father was wearing his old sandals, so I asked about the new ones, and he told me that he gave them to his grandson (my nephew). I was angry at my nephew because he knew the way my father was, and had complimented him on his new sandals, and ended up walking out the door wearing them. My mother told me how it happened. My nephew was about 30 years old at the time. It's interesting that my nephew never mentioned the sandals to me, and I never said anything to him.
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:50 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janice
Okay, here's another example, which probably won't be so cut and dry. A few year's ago, I noticed my father's sandals were getting ratty looking. Money was never an issue with him. He just wasn't one to go shopping, and my mother was ill. I bought him a new pair, that looked like his sandals; only the ones I bought were high-end Timberlands for $70.

My father was also the type to give a person the shirt off his back. Literally, if a loved one complimented him on something, he gave it to them. Knowing this, when I gave him the new sandals, I asked him to please let me know if he didn't want them or wanted something else. I told him I could exchange them for sneakers or whatever he wanted. I bought them at Famous Footwear. My father told me that he loved them. He put them on, walked around the room. I gave them to him for no occasion; it wasn't his birthday or Christmas.

I was at my parents a few days later. My father was wearing his old sandals, so I asked about the new ones, and he told me that he gave them to his grandson (my nephew). I was angry at my nephew because he knew the way my father was, and had complimented him on his new sandals, and ended up walking out the door wearing them. My mother told me how it happened. My nephew was about 30 years old at the time. It's interesting that my nephew never mentioned the sandals to me, and I never said anything to him.
Wow.. that wasn't nice... I don't care the reason is. But why didn't your nephew just buy his own sandals, since his your dad could have told him where you got his sandals.

Just curious, does your dad still have ratty old sandals?
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:57 PM   #22
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Wow.. that wasn't nice... I don't care the reason is. But why didn't your nephew just buy his own sandals, since his your dad could have told him where you got his sandals.

Just curious, does your dad still have ratty old sandals?
My father is deceased now. This happened in 2001. My nephew took advantage of my father's overly generous nature. My nephew, turned out to be the biggest moocher on the planet. He burned me bad, after I gave him the sun, the moon and the stars. As Oprah would say though, "That's another show." lol.
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Old 01-02-2009, 04:48 PM   #23
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A year ago, my mom bought two portable DVD players, one for my sister and one that I would give to my mom. I won't be taking the bus with it kind of thing and I had to work that day, it was Black Friday and plus, the sale was for a limited time.

So a few months later my mom used the portable DVD player on her cruise then after she got home she put it away. A few months after that my sister, brother in law and nephew had to move so my sister stayed with my mom and me for a few weeks while my brother in law and nephew stayed with his mom and dad for a short time till they found a home to rent.

So they did find a place, my brother in law's parents offered to let them live there for awhile so they did and my sister left a few weeks later.
Then a few months later the cable went out and my mom went to find the portable DVD player... but she couldn't find it and thought maybe she was going nuts because she remembered where she put it.

Turns out it was my dumb sister who took it because she gave her DVD player to her daughter who probably whined in order to get it. My mom did get it back and has hid it in another place but told my sister that she needs to get hers from her daughter.
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Old 01-02-2009, 04:50 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janice
My father is deceased now. This happened in 2001. My nephew took advantage of my father's overly generous nature. My nephew, turned out to be the biggest moocher on the planet. He burned me bad, after I gave him the sun, the moon and the stars. As Oprah would say though, "That's another show." lol.
Oh. I'm sorry about your dad.

I think I've heard somewhere that usually family members always do take advantage of other family members.
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:42 PM   #25
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Oh. I'm sorry about your dad.

I think I've heard somewhere that usually family members always do take advantage of other family members.
Thank you. I don't think my father should have given the sandals away, because he must have known it would certainly hurt my feelings. I think he just got caught up in the moment. I think it was up to my nephew to not cash in on my father's generous nature, and he should have refused the sandals.
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:16 PM   #26
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I gave my younger brother and his wife(in 2007), who share the same birthday month, a $25 gc to a popular casual restaurant chain. My mom did the same for Christmas(2007). We found out a few weeks ago, that they don't like this restautant and gave our cards away.......we were so pissed!!

We resolved that this year, we are not going to get burned again. This year, I am doing handmade gifts that won't cost an arm and leg....if they give it away, oh well, I won't have lost much.......maybe just my pride in making an effort.
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:19 PM   #27
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It wouldn't bother me in the least. At least it's better than throwing it out.
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:36 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara Micelli
I can certainly understand why you would feel hurt by that. To be honest, my family regifts things all the time. But we never actually tell that to the person who originally gave them to us. That's just tacky.
I totally agree, telling the person who originally gave you the regifted gift is the height of tacky. If regifting is ever done it should be done discreetly. And only if the item is unused and is truly something the person can't use but wants someone else to benefit from.

If someone regifted a present I gave them AND TOLD ME, I'd probably never give them a gift again - maybe only a handwritten greeting card - if that. And yes, my feelings would be hurt too.

To be perfectly frank, a genuinely sweet note or email, with thought behind it, is a very very nice gift all by itself. When I get one I often go back and revisit it many times over.
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:09 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude The Obscure
I gave my younger brother and his wife(in 2007), who share the same birthday month, a $25 gc to a popular casual restaurant chain. My mom did the same for Christmas(2007). We found out a few weeks ago, that they don't like this restautant and gave our cards away.......we were so pissed!!

We resolved that this year, we are not going to get burned again. This year, I am doing handmade gifts that won't cost an arm and leg....if they give it away, oh well, I won't have lost much.......maybe just my pride in making an effort.
Well..... I hate to tell you this but your brother and his wife should have told you and your mom they don't like this restaurant then offer to pay you both back. Plus, at least the cards are being used, unlike millions of gift cards that are probably not used as much.
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:31 AM   #30
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It wouldn't bother me in the least. At least it's better than throwing it out.
Throwing what out, the basket? Why would she want to do that, she loved it.
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