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11/07 - American Dad! - Volume 12
11/07 - American Dad! - Volume 12
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|12-31-2008, 07:36 PM||#1|
I Love Susie
Join Date: Oct 18, 2005
Location: South Carolina
R.I.P., Common Sense
An Obituary printed in the London Times........ Interesting and sadly rather true
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children .
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his
wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
|12-31-2008, 08:15 PM||#3|
Join Date: Dec 16, 2001
some of the situations sound one-sided. if the one about the woman spilling her coffee is a reference to the mcdonald's incident, it definitely is. the coffee was much hotter than it should have been and the woman had to stay in the hospital for a week and get skin grafts to repair the damage. she sued because mcdonald's refused to help pay her medical bills. coffee just isn't supposed to be that dangerous. also, i looked up the story about the guy getting suspended for using mouthwash; turned out the school strongly prohibited liquids with alcohol in them.
Last edited by Hollow : 12-31-2008 at 08:44 PM.
|12-31-2008, 09:18 PM||#4|
MAN VS SAMMICH.
Omg this has been going around forever. Please put it to rest.
Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade
|01-01-2009, 10:17 PM||#7|
Meet my new friend Sparkie!
I think common sense died sometime in the 90s. I know it wasn't recent.
Hi! Hey! Hello again, here we go again!
|01-02-2009, 11:47 AM||#8|
Join Date: May 30, 2003
Location: Miami, Florida
Who IS that in your avatar, Doodyville? he's cute!
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