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Old 12-24-2008, 01:52 AM   #1
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Default NEED TO VENT

I feel silly writing this but I just feel scared/paranoid/anxious not sure which one really fits me the best as I feel all those emotions right now. Just a lot of stuff happening... not too excited about xmas, as wreckless stated in another thread it went by too fast and it was hard to get in the mood with my husband going through therapy - hes often understandably grouchy or exhausted. I always look forward to xmas but this year i can't wait for it to be over.
i'm throwing a xmas eve party that i was first excited about but now its just more stress. then my aunt called me just a few days ago and invites me over to her house on xmas, this is a relative that only bothers with me at xmas and has always been so judgemental/opinionated about my life, refusing to meet my husband who i've been married to for 4 years (because of our age difference) and she favors my sister. and now i'm supposed to go over there and shell out money for 3 gifts (her, her husband and son) with money i don't have as its all tied up in this party!
then my sister also calls me a few days ago and says she bought me another gift when we agreed in october that we'd only be buying 1 gift per person this year (her idea). i don't have the extra money or time to get her another gift.
and my job who gave me extra hours on sundays, then took them away, then gave them back to only take them away yet again. however, they said they'd call me if there was ever a hole that needed to be filled. so they call me to come in last friday at the height of a blizzard (it took me 2 hours to get there in what is normally a 1/2 hour drive) and then today they leave a message on my machine wanting me to work xmas eve! made me so mad, they take away my permanent extra sunday because they are trying to cut down on overtime but then expect me to work all these bottom of the barrel shifts! i just spent hundreds on food for my xmas eve party and they want me to work ...dream on.

and lastly i'm just worried about finances. my husbands car overheated today and we really don't have the money to fix it because of the holidays. then my car just got a flat tonight and the tires on it are super expensive. i just replaced them in early fall and i'm so afraid to tell my husband as hes already stressed out. and although we are far from the debt we were in this summer (40 thousand), bills are mounting again (only 3 thousand). 3 thousand is a molehill compared to what we faced months ago but i'm scared it'll get out of our control. i've changed my spending habits drastically since the summer and have become a minimalist but my husband wanted very expensive gifts for himself for xmas and because what hes going through i didn't have the heart to deny him. i wanted him to have a happy xmas but i'm so afraid of going in debt again. like i said we're not in a lot but i think back to the misery we were in months ago and i could never live like that again. i know its probably xmas that has screwed the finances up a little but i don't want it to spiral any further.

sorry i don't mean to be so negative and i hope i didn't ruin your holiday!
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Old 12-24-2008, 02:05 AM   #2
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I hope to be able to reply with some good advice more in detail in a little bit, but don't worry about venting - that's what we're here for.

Firstly though, immediately I can see a fix for at least your tires. Sure, it's at a bad time, but if you bought them only this fall, there should be some sort of warranty - unless you hit a nail or something. In that case, it shouldn't cost a lot at all to have it patched. Any service station can do it in about 15 mins.

And you're not alone. I just want this whole year to be over too. I've got the place all decorated, and do plan a traditional Christmas dinner with my brother, but it isn't going to be the same at all. I'm very depressed right now no matter how hard I try not to be. I'm just not going to fight it anymore and accept it for now. I know I'm not alone too - lots of people are sad, lonely and down at this time of year. At least we know in life that it does have it's ups and downs and somehow we seem to come out of even the deepest downs. So enjoy what little up you can get. Screw anyone who criticizes. Sis said ONE gift - don't you feel badly. Maybe the 2nd one is small anyway.

As for the job. It sure sounds like it does suck. Maybe you can throw out a few resumes while you're still working here and see if you can't get something else.

Hope this helps for now Sweetie.
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Old 12-24-2008, 02:15 AM   #3
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I feel your money pain. It's not the same, but the season always ends up making me worry more about $ than I should. I'm getting docked 11 days pay (which is a whole paycheck) when I spent, oh, a few hundred on gifts. But I like to try making people happy no matter what it costs. This is also the first Christmas season where I have a car payment and it's not like you can just get away with paying the minimum on that like you can with a credit card.

But hey, things have a way of working out. Keep your head up and have fun these next couple days! And don't be afraid to vent; if anyone here minds, they can click on something else.
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Old 12-24-2008, 09:27 AM   #4
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Kimberlee, you know we love you!! Keep on praying and posting!!
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Old 12-24-2008, 01:02 PM   #5
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I hope you told your aunt you couldnt make it for Christmas, your work you couldnt make it Christmas Eve.
Take your car to where you got the tires and they should fix it for free.

It sounds like you need to say NO more often without feeling guilty.

I hope you have a fun relaxing Xmas eve party and a stress free Christmas

David
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Old 12-24-2008, 03:31 PM   #6
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I'm already negative, I'm not hoping for Christmas to come this year since I won't be doing anything!

This is why I'm rebelling this year. Since I can't see my relatives except my parents, I won't be wearing my usual suit and tie, I won't shave, and all I can say is...BAH HUMBUG!
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Old 12-27-2008, 10:58 PM   #7
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How is everything going now, Kimberlee?
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Old 12-28-2008, 12:03 AM   #8
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i meant to reply earlier but i didn't want to spoil anyones holidays any further. i can be a bit of a drama queen at times. but please don't feel that i've taken your sentiments for granted, Monika
- cathie, i took your advice and had my tire fixed under their warranty early this afternoon. thanks your a life saver, sweetie!
-despite the preparation for my xmas eve party being stressful, the actual event was very pleasant. everyone had a good time.
- dakert, i took your advice as well, and said "no" to going to my aunts on christmas. actually on christmas day i didn't go anywhere. i was so tired from all the running around i did all week i just stayed home and caught up on some much needed rest.
anyway i hope for a healthy and happy new year and i hope you all have one as well. God bless us, everyone!
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Old 12-28-2008, 01:27 AM   #9
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Kimberlee, hang tight! From where you're standing, things can only get better for you - I know it! My job sucks too - I'm always being singled out for things that go wrong. I'm looking for another one myself at this point. You are definitely in my prayers.
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Old 12-28-2008, 07:06 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PunkyP0WER
i meant to reply earlier but i didn't want to spoil anyones holidays any further. i can be a bit of a drama queen at times. but please don't feel that i've taken your sentiments for granted, Monika
- cathie, i took your advice and had my tire fixed under their warranty early this afternoon. thanks your a life saver, sweetie!
-despite the preparation for my xmas eve party being stressful, the actual event was very pleasant. everyone had a good time.
- dakert, i took your advice as well, and said "no" to going to my aunts on christmas. actually on christmas day i didn't go anywhere. i was so tired from all the running around i did all week i just stayed home and caught up on some much needed rest.
anyway i hope for a healthy and happy new year and i hope you all have one as well. God bless us, everyone!
Take care of yourself, sweetie.
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Old 12-29-2008, 08:22 PM   #11
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Default NEED TO VENT...a continuation

Thanks Monika, I am sure in need of a hug. My husband and me aren't speaking. It started last night, because of our age difference he sometimes treats me like a baby. I had a candle lit in my bedroom (we sleep separately as he snores and we work different schedules) and before he went to bed he told me to put the candle out. I said "no I'm enjoying it" and then he started yelling saying he wanted it out that I was going to burn the house down etc. etc. It was completely irrational and unfair. So today I tidied up the house before he got home, made his coffee, bought minutes for his phone, etc. etc. trying to make him happy even though i don't believe i did anything wrong, i'm almost always the bigger person, but hes still giving me the silent treatment.
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Old 12-29-2008, 09:15 PM   #12
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Awwww...sounds like you need TWO hugs!!
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Old 12-29-2008, 10:41 PM   #13
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Hi Kimberlee. Your husband is probably just not himself. He'll come around. Just give him a lot of TLC. If he continues to sulk he's hurting himself more than anyone else.
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Old 12-29-2008, 11:47 PM   #14
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Ugh...men. They have PMS worse than women.
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Old 12-30-2008, 12:38 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dawsongirl
Ugh...men. They have PMS worse than women.
BINGO!!
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