Tips for Driving in Alberta

[lilhave]

Subject: Alberta Registrar of Motor Vehicles handbook






1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Alberta driver

avoids using them.



2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you

and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by

somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.



3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have of getting hit.



4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects

it and it will result in your being rear-ended.



5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,

especially with B.C. or Sask, plates. With no insurance, the other

operator has nothing to lose.



6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your

ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal

violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to

strengthen your leg muscles.



7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way

to prepare other drivers entering the highway.



8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are

not enforceable in Alberta during rush hour, especially in Calgary.



9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or

move over doesn't mean that an Albertan driver flashing his high beams

behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.



10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone

changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.



11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Alberta is the home of

high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of Public Works,

which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep

them alert.



12. It is tradition in Alberta to honk your horn at cars in front of you

that do not move within three milliseconds of the light turning green.



13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is

important to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away. Wearing

your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.



14. Remember that the goal of every Alberta driver is to get ahead of the

pack by whatever means necessary.



15. In Alberta, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This

gesture should always be returned.



Thank You From, The Alberta Registrar of Motor Vehicles