What If You Like A Good Friend, And They Don't Feel The Same Way?

[GCW]

What if you really fall for a good friend and you find that they don't feel the same way. Could you continue to be just their friend? Normally people would say yes but I think at one point frustration would set in and you would start to wonder why especially when the two of you have so much in common and enjoy being with each other. In your mind it seems like the two of you would make a great couple. How would you handle it when they start dating someone else? I just wanted to get everyone's opinion.

[Shine]

Originally Posted by GCW

What if you really fall for a good friend and you find that they don't feel the same way. Could you continue to be just their friend? Normally people would say yes but I think at one point frustration would set in and you would start to wonder why especially when the two of you have so much in common and enjoy being with each other. In your mind it seems like the two of you would make a great couple. How would you handle it when they start dating someone else? I just wanted to get everyone's opinion.

Well, I think this is a situation that everyone has been in at one time or another. I guess whether the friendship could continue would really be up to the person. I don't think I could remain friends with someone who I had "feelings" for but who didn't have feelings for me. It would be much too painful.

[MandieR1980]

sounds like my life except he was never a good friend to me I was too good to him. He never came around on his own and he as well as his mom and other people and myself always made excuses for him so it was hard for me to see what was really happening. I suggest finding out the truth now, don't let yourself get lead on for almost a year like I did. I wouldn't wish the pain on my worst enemy. If this guy really wants me in his life he's gonna have to come to me I'm done trying. The problem with what happened with us is that our friendship started too soon after he got dumped suddenly by his fiance. I think from day one he had his mind set that he wouldn't allow himself to get close to me and I did nothing wrong.

[Number 9 Dream]

I'm actually in this situation now, and believe me, it is tough. Thing is, I am not even SURE if they like me or not. It's an up in the air sort of thing that I just have to feel out for myself. Perhaps they do like me, perhaps they don't. It's so confusing, though.

Hang in there! Time will tell

[G-Force Glockstar]

I've had that happen to me before too. And I heard, in any relationship, friendship or boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, someone usually always ends up liking someone else more than the other, which leads to someone getting hurt. It's hard, and I wish I knew what to do in a situation like that.

[Brian Damage]

I've been through it a couple of times and it is really hard. Especially if you see them on a date or dating another person. You just have to smile and take it if you want to be in their life. That pain goes away when you find someone else. It sucks...heck, it sucks a lot, but it is better to know as soon as possible then letting it linger for months or even years!

[RustyShackleford]

This happened to me once before. I liked my friends sister and I thought she was a great girl and she had all the qualities I look for, until im got word she said I was around too much and she was tired of me being around, so she basically talked about me behind my back and couldnt tell me that to my face, I didnt say two words to her and she didnt say anything to me for like 3 weeks. Then I sat her down and cleared the air. Told her I didnt like her that way and were back to where we used to be.

[MandieR1980]

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

but it is better to know as soon as possible then letting it linger for months or even years!

you got that right! I wish I had listened to everyone else, I'm so humiliated. I guess this was a lesson I had to learn myself. He lost someone who really loved him the way he was. I wouldn't have changed him for the world. Good luck to him finding that again.

[Kazza]

I've been there and it's too painful to just remain friends knowing that your feelings are not going to be acknowledged the same way.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

I'm in a similar situation, and not only that but I think he likes someone else. It hurts.

[Fonzarelli]

I've been in that situation... Several times.

What I did back then, was at first trying to remain friends. That will work for some weeks, maybe even some months. Then frustration kicks in. So eventually, it resulted in me and the girl(s) basically ignoring each other for a long time, not speaking, barely any contact and waiting 'till I got over them. After that, we picked up the friendship again. Of course, it will never be like it was before again, but that's just something we have to deal with.

And in the meantime... What can you do? Try to concentrate on other things. Going out, try to have some fun. And if all doesn't work, you can still always get drunk.

[MandieR1980]

Originally Posted by Fonzarelli

And if all doesn't work, you can still always get drunk.

I did that 3 nights this week, only helps in the moment. Mamosas are good!

[TJL]

You can try to remain friends, but speaking from experience, things will be awkward.
It sucks if they reject you and choose someone else. Been there done that.

It might be a good idea to put some distance between you and your friend for a while. I'm not saying just cut him/her out of your life completly; a little space will release some of the tension.

[Fonzarelli]

Originally Posted by MandieR1980

I did that 3 nights this week, only helps in the moment. Mamosas are good!

Mamosas? What's that?

[MandieR1980]

Originally Posted by Fonzarelli

Mamosas? What's that?

not sure if I spelled it right but it's champagne and orange juice