Walking on eggshells

[Pitooey]

Today while I was doing a bit of cleaning I found these cute 2 Easter Rabbits that I plan to put outdoors for decorating for Easter. Maybe in 2 weeks.

Well.................. My mother is planning on coming to visit and when I found the rabbits I thought to myself (These rabbits are so cute Maybe Mom will like to see these. They'll cheer her up).

BRAKES............................................................

Then I thought to myself I can't do that because she'll think I'm bragging.

Now................................. I'm what you consider a happy go lucky person. Sure I have my moments of depression but I try to live my life upbeat and cheerful. There were times in my life that things didn't go well but I am choosing to be upbeat.

But My Mom will see it as bragging. It's sometimes so hard to deal with a person that you have to be constantly tippy toeing around or else you'll hurt their feelings or you have to remember they're not happy blah, blah, blah.

I can't be happy. I have to stifle it and I can't stand it.

I have to tip toe, tip toe or else her feelings will get hurt and it was all because i found those stupid rabbits.

This weekend I must stifle myself. I can't be myself. Even in front of my kids I have to tip toe, tip toe. Grrrr.......

[Pitooey]

Another thing when does

Being happy = Bragging?

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Pitooey

Another thing when does

Being happy = Bragging?

I'm confused. Your mom considers it "bragging" if you decorate for Easter? is that what you are saying?

[Cashodeen]

I don't understand either...

[Brieannas21]

I think she wanted to give the Bunnies to her mom but her mom would think that it was bragging.

You can't always worry about what your mom will think. You're old enough to where you shouldn't worry about what other people (albeit your mom) thinks about you. Do what you want to do and if it pisses her off, so be it, She'll get over it.

[swedeace]

A wise friend once told me:

"Eggshells do not exist, but they are something you create." That's true. We tend to create these "eggshells" from our own mind.

I would say "don't assume." Just try and explain.

I hope I am understanding the story, as well....

[Ireneparalegal]

Ok, if what I am understanding from the post and what the others have said, then giving something to your mom means (in her eyes) that you are bragging because you are able to buy things and give them away?

In general, it sounds like your mother is miserable (for what? I don't know). If she is generally a miserable person then it means she can't see others happy. There's a saying I learned a few years back:
MISERY LOVES COMPANY Miserable people get their happiness outta making others miserable. If she gets to you, you are allowing it. Do not allow her to do that to you. If she makes a comment to you when you give her those things, then either ignore it or say "Well, if you don't want them, that's fine, I can give them to my neighbor, I know she will love them". something like that. But no matter what, don't let her see that she is getting to you. If she gets a hint that you are feeling like that, then she is still accomplishing what she wants. I hope we understood what you were conveying in your post. Let us know.

[Pitooey]

Thanks for the feedback folks. Now what I was saying was I was going to show my mother the cute Easter rabbits....

My mother is the type of woman who thinks if you show her something (like the rabbits) that you're bragging. She is the type of woman who is a bit sad. A bit depressed.

Like I said I only wanted to show her something cute for her to smile.

But I have to be on my tip toes around her because she's
misrable sometimes and by showing her something cute she might think I'm bragging because she's told others that I brag alot. But I don't.

I'm a happy type person.

It's crazy but true....

[Pitooey]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

In general, it sounds like your mother is miserable (for what? I don't know). If she is generally a miserable person then it means she can't see others happy. There's a saying I learned a few years back:
MISERY LOVES COMPANY Miserable people get their happiness outta making others miserable. If she gets to you, you are allowing it. Do not allow her to do that to you. If she makes a comment to you when you give her those things, then either ignore it or say "Well, if you don't want them, that's fine, I can give them to my neighbor, I know she will love them". something like that. But no matter what, don't let her see that she is getting to you. If she gets a hint that you are feeling like that, then she is still accomplishing what she wants. I hope we understood what you were conveying in your post. Let us know.

Thanks IreneP you're right.

I hate that she's misrable and I hate that I have to tip toe so her feelings don't get hurt.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Pitooey

Thanks for the feedback folks. Now what I was saying was I was going to show my mother the cute Easter rabbits....

My mother is the type of woman who thinks if you show her something (like the rabbits) that you're bragging. She is the type of woman who is a bit sad. A bit depressed.

Like I said I only wanted to show her something cute for her to smile.

But I have to be on my tip toes around her because she's
misrable sometimes and by showing her something cute she might think I'm bragging because she's told others that I brag alot. But I don't.

I'm a happy type person.

It's crazy but true....

Obviously depressed people can make those around them miserable. Directly or indirectly. Then your best bet is to not even discuss those bunnies. But be yourself. If others know she is depressed, then they will understand why she acts a certain way. I have a best friend from childhood. We have been friends for over 33 years. I haven't talked to her in over a year because EVERYTIME i talk to her on the phone, she just talks abt how depressed, how unhappy she is, she talks abt old stuff that was depressing, she talks abt how her daughter is out of control, etc. etc. etc. You know, I don't want to be mean, but I don't want to talk abt sad, depressing things all the time. So, i have just decided not to call her. It's sad but it's for my own good. She was making me depressed.

I became depressed due to a back injury and the medication the doctor gave me did wonders. I didn't realize how awful I was making people around me feel. Now, I feel great. I want you to realize that your mother is suffering from a real disease. Depression is something that takes over your mind and your body. Don't allow that to overtake you!!! You don't have to walk on eggshells, but just be yourself and tell yourself that she is not in control of her mental feelings. I am sure she doesn't mean to act that way. Was she always that way? Or is this recent?

[Pitooey]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Was she always that way? Or is this recent?

I'd have to say for the past 2-3 years.

She needs medication and I've told her that but she chooses to be misrable. I am going to just SHUT MY MOUTH and hide those damn cute rabbits. I feel better already Irene.......... So to you and evreyone Thanks!!!

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Pitooey

I'd have to say for the past 2-3 years.

She needs medication and I've told her that but she chooses to be misrable. I am going to just SHUT MY MOUTH and hide those damn cute rabbits. I feel better already Irene.......... So to you and evreyone Thanks!!!

Whenever you need us VENT GIRLFRIEND JUST VENT...OR USE THE PM!!!! Take care sweetie and hang in there. Don't let it get to you. just smile.