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Old 02-20-2001, 11:31 PM   #1
ThomasE
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Post What is your favorite quote?

My favorite is from the 2 part episode from the last season when Al and Peg were going to split up:

Peg: Thanks a lot, Al. After 25 years you're finally leaving me satisfied!
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Old 11-05-2001, 05:28 PM   #2
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A fat woman walked into the shoestore today! LOL!!
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Old 11-07-2001, 01:22 PM   #3
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They had a lot of funny quotes on the show. Can you think of any others?
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Old 11-12-2003, 02:44 PM   #4
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Bud: Come on, you fight like a girl.
Kelly: You pee like one!
Bud: That was a temporary medical condition!
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Old 11-25-2003, 07:50 PM   #5
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Oh, man. There is Waaaaaay too many to list, so here are a few of my favorites:

Al: Look, Steve. Why don't you do this? Go home, wake up Marcy and say, "Hey, I lost my money. I screwed up, it won't happen again, and what's for supper?" That's what being a man is all about, Steve. Making mistakes and not caring.
====================================
Peg: I tried to get Al to fix the driveway a long time ago. But his philosophy is why improve a home you're only going to live in anyway?
====================================
Al: Now here's all the money I've got. I want you to go to a pharmacy and get some real medicine!
Kelly: Outside? But Daddy, what if somebody sees my pimple?
Al: Pumpkin, it's dark. Nobody's going to see the pimple.
Kelly: I guess you right. I guess I'm being silly, huh?
[opens door]
Man from distance: Whoa! Look at the zits on the blonde chick!
Kelly: Thank God he didn't see the pimple, huh?
====================================
Bud: Look, Mr. Boondy, I am merely being a professional civil server and I've taken an oath. HOOTERS! HOOTERS! PULL OVER! Oh by the way, Dad, I'm deducting five points. You should never pick up hitchhikers.

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Old 12-13-2003, 05:04 PM   #6
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Kelly:The prostitution rests
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Old 12-18-2003, 10:59 AM   #7
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Fat Woman:How dare you say that to my face

Al:I would say it behind your back but my car only has a half tank of gas!
____________________________________________________
Kelly:I'm gonna hold my breast until I turn blue
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Steve:Al I'm horny,what are you gonna do about it?
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Old 01-06-2004, 11:14 PM   #8
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I have many favorite quotes from the show, but I can only remember one off hand. lol

Al: Peg, here's all the money I have, $10 dollars. Now go to the store and buy some food.

Peg: I can do that. I can buy food.

Al: Good dear

Peg: (Chanting) I must buy food, I must buy food, got to buy food, must buy food.

Grey Statue in store window: Buy me

Peg: No, I got to buy food

Grey Statue in window: Buy me

Peg: No, I must buy food

Grey statue: Buy meeee

Peg: Okayyy LOL

Remember that episode?

But my all time favorite quote, and this is in almost every episode, is the Bundy chant.

"WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Bundy"
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Old 02-06-2004, 04:18 AM   #9
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Two come to mind:

Al: I wish the world were a fly and I was a giant, rolled up newspaper.

and

Steve: Al, I'm horny, what are goin' do about it?

There are many. many more I love, but those two stand out.
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Old 02-06-2004, 12:38 PM   #10
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WOMEN, CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, THE END.
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Old 03-23-2005, 08:18 PM   #11
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Al: "...played Van Halen's 'Jump.' And d****d if the whole herd didn't." Bud: "I believe I've died and gone to Dad's happy box in the basement."
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"Corporal O'Reilly, who's been like a son to me. Corporal Klinger, who's been like a daughter." -- Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, M.D.
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Old 03-28-2005, 01:57 AM   #12
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Steve: Al, you realize that tampering with your kids dental records is against the law.
Al: So is dressing up a chicken and calling it your wife.

and

Psycho Dad: [Reading Al's letter] "I like you. I really, really like you. No, not in that way. So please don't let them take you off, I beg you, fight this thing like you would fight a varmit or an ex-wife. Your friend, Al; P.S. What does Barbara Eden look like naked?"
Jefferson: Barbara Eden?
Bob Rooney: She's 1,000.
Al: I didn't mean now.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:30 AM   #13
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Librarian (I forget her name) : Make a promise, keep a promise.
Al: Yeah, yeah, bake a pie, eat a pie.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:54 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClassicTV4Ever
Librarian (I forget her name) : Make a promise, keep a promise.
Al: Yeah, yeah, bake a pie, eat a pie.

LOVE that episode.



DeGROOT: You may take just one book.

AL: Hey, be fair! Can you eat just one pig?


***
DeGROOT: You think anyone can teach you anything?

AL: Well, you've just taught me that even the slightest movement can make a fat person sweat.


***

AL: Well, it just so happens that I returned that book years ago.

DeGROOT: I'd remember if you did.

AL: You weren't here.

DeGROOT: I'm always here.

AL: Not that day... I believe that was the day of the big cake heist. You were rounded up for questioning.
***

DeGROOT: Could it be that you don't have the $2000? Could it be that I was correct when I made an educated guess that you would fail in life?

AL: Could it be that the nails that hold your chair together are from the planet Krypton?
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Old 03-28-2005, 11:40 AM   #15
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Al(to the male stripper):"Oh, and if my wife loses anything down your pants, so will you."

Or something like that, it's been awhile since I've seen that ep.
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