Zack:The Series

[Chain Gang Member]

Shattered Dreams

Bart:Ok Ralph,it looks like everything is in tip top shape.I guess I made a good decision puting my brother in charge

Furley:Thanks Bart

(Jack comes out of his room)

Jack:Mr.Furley!And Mr.Furley?What are you guys doing here?

Furley:Bart's just doing an inspection

(A girl comes out of Jack's room buttoning up her blouse)

Girl:Jack,what is going on?

Bart:What is a girl doing in his room?

Furley:That's what I'd like to know

JAck:I can explain

Girl:There's no need to explain to them.What goes on between 2 people is private.(kisses him)I'll see you later(leaves)

(Janet & Terri enter)

JAnet:What's going on

Bart:I'll tell you what's going on.I'm kicking him out

Furley:What did I do?

Bart:Not you,you lame brain.(points to Jack)Him!

Terri:What?You can't do that

BArt:I can and I will

JAnet:If he goes,you'll have to kick us out too

Terri:Yeah

Bart:Ok,you 2 are evicted too

Furley:What?I won't let you kick out my friends

BArt:You wanna be next?

Furley:Bye kids(they exit)

Janet:now where are we going to live?

Jack:I got it.We'll go live with my cousin,Zack

Terri:Are you sure he's alright with us staying with him?

Janet:Yeah,he doesn't even know us

Jack:Trust me.He has a soft spot for pretty girls

Girls:Aww

JAck:And I'm sure he has a soft spot for you girls too

Girls:JAck!

Jack:I'm kidding

(they pack up and take the bus to San Diego)

End of Scene

(doorbell)

Zack:Hey Jack,what are you doing here?

Jack:We got kicked out of our apartment and we were wondering if we could live since you are living in this big house alone.All alone

Girls: (saying with pouty lips)Please Zack

Zack:Alright!I mean mi casa es su casa.

Jack:Alright girls,lets go in

Zack:Finally something goes right in my life

Terri:Are you alright?

Zack:Yes,it's just that I just got out of a relationship

Janet:Aww I'm sorry

Zack:It's alright.Until the last week,I didn't know she was a tramp

Terri:I hope you find someone

Zack:Me too

Jack:So Zack,what are you doing these days?

Zack:I'm a pro wrestler

JAck:So you're living your childhood dream

Zack:Yeah.I proved your witch of a mother wrong

Girls:

Zack:I wrestling tonight.So if you want,I can get you front row tickets

JAck:Sure

Terri:Yeah,sounds like fun

(Later)

Janet:Wow,these are good seats

(In the ring)

Cena:You can't see me

Tazz:The you can't see me taunt,followed by the 5 knuckle shuffle

Cole:Cena pumping up.He lifts up Rhyno

Tazz:FU!

COle:The FU followed by the 3 count

Chimel:Here is your winner,John Cena

Jack:Zack's up next

(Kurt Angle comes out)

Chimel:The following is a triple threat match is scheduled for one fall.Introducing first from Pittsburgh,PA Kurt Angle

(Eddie Guerrero comes out)

Chimel:From El Paso,TX Eddie Guerrero

(Zack comes out)

Chimel:And from San Diego,CA Zack Tripper

(Bell Rings)

(they brawl for a while)

Cole:Guerrero's got Zack locked in the Laso From EL Paso

Zack:Angle,you dumbass.Help me over here!

Tazz:Angle breaks it up before Zack tapped out,and gets rid of Guerrero

Cole:Now Angle's gonna work on Zack,but he ducks

Tazz:Rock Bottom by Zack

Cole:1,2,3.Zack pins Angle

Chimel:Here is your winner,Zack Tripper

(In the locker room)

Janet:Zack,you were great

Zack:Thanks JAnet.Ow

Terri:What's wrong

Zack:It's my back.I hurt it when Eddie had me in the Lasso From El Paso too long

Terri:Let's get you to the hospital

(At the hospital)

Doctor:It looks like your spine was bent

Zack:What does that mean?

Doctor:It means that you won't be able to wrestle again

Zack:But wrestling is my life

Doctor,Mr.Tripper,if you don't quit,you will become paralyzed

Zack:Oh no

(Outside the room)

Terri:What did the doctor say?

Zack:I'll have to retire from wrestling

Janet:I'm sorry

Jack:Yeah.Looks like you have to give up your dream

(Eddie Guerrero enters)

Eddie:What's up holmes?

Zack:Looks like I'll have to give up wrestling

Eddie:Oh man,and it's all my fault

Zack:It's alright.What's meant to be is meant to be

Eddie:I gotta do something to make it all better.I got it,you can have of my Low Riders

Zack:Are you sure?

Eddie:Sure,I got plenty

Zack:That'll help

(later)

JAnet: Did we have to do that with Zack?

Terri:Come on JAnet.Zack had to retire from something he enjoyed doing.We had to do something to cheer him up

JAnet:I think he enjoyed it too much

(Zack enters)

Zack:Man I love that Low Rider

Jack:Geez Zack,you drove like an animal

Zack:Yeah well I just had to do something to relax me.Good night you guys

Jack:Good night Zack

END

Credits

Starring

Zack Tripper......Chris Klein

Jack Tripper........John Ritter

Janet Wood......Joyce DeWitt

Terri Alden.......Priscilla Barnes

Guest Starring

Don Knotts...Ralph Furley

Hamilton Camp ....Bart Furley

John Cena....Himself

Rhyno....Himself

Tazz....Himself

Michael Cole....Himself

Eddie Guerrero....Himself

Kurt Angle....Himself

David Garrison....Doctor

[Chain Gang Member]

Baring The Truth

Jack: Girls, why aren’t you eating your breakfast?

Janet: It’s just that we’re worried about Zack

Terri: Yeah. Because of his back injury, he won’t be able to live his dream as a wrestler

Jack: I wonder how he’s doing?

Zack: Good Morning. What a beautiful day it is. The birds are singing, the sun is shining, and I get to live with my favorite cousin and two beautiful girl

Jack: (whispering) Girls, I think since he can’t wrestle anymore, we should get him a gig for going coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs

Janet: Why are you happy?

Terri: Yeah. You won’t be able to wrestle anymore

Zack: Well after getting calls from my aunt ad my cousin Lee laughing at me because my dream is shattered, and drinking a 6 pack, I figured out that I have done it all. Won every championship, beating all the best, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, The Undertaker, Kane, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, and many more.

Terri: Wow, you were great

Zack: Yeah, I know. I’ll be up stairs (does so)

Terri: I better go take a shower

(End of Scene)

(In the bathroom, Terri takes her clothes off as Zack comes out of the shower)

Terri: Zack!

Zack: (drying his hair) Oh hi Terri, nice to see you. All of you

Terri: Aren’t you embarrassed?

Zack: Are you kidding? I’ve been walked in on by all the WWE divas. You’re the first girl that has walked in on me on accident. You have nothing to be embarrassed about either

Terri: Why thank you. Well, I better take my shower

Zack: And I better be getting dressed

Terri: See you later

Zack: You just did

Terri:

Both: (on opposite sides of the door) Wow

Janet: Hi Zack, do you know where Jack’s room is?

Zack: Sure it’s over there. (While he points, his towel drops) Whoops

Janet: Um I better go see Jack

(In Jack’s room)

Jack: Hi Janet

Janet: Jack, I have something to tell you

Jack: Janet, you’re the one I always like to talk to

Janet: Sure Jack, what’s up?

Jack: I feel so bad coming out of my last relationship that I don’t feel like dating any more girls at the moment. Does that sound strange?

Janet: Um, I guess not. When you get out of this slump, I’m sure the right girl will come along, and you will be very happy with her

Jack: Thanks Janet. Now what were you going to say?

Janet: Nothing, it was nothing

Jack: Ok

(Janet leaves Jack’s room sad and bumps into Terri)

Terri: Janet, I have something to tell you

Janet: What?

Terri: I think I’ve found Mr. Right
Janet: I’m glad you have

Terri: Oh I’m sure you’ll find the right guy for you

Janet: Thanks Terr. Now who is this Mr. Right?

Terri: Zack

Janet: Tripper?

Terri: Yeah. He’s so kind and handsome and I think he’s the most wonderful guy I have ever met

Janet: Well I’m sure you two will make a great couple

Terri: Thanks Janet, I better go talk to him now

(In Zack’s room)

Terri: Zack

Zack: Terri, there’s something I have to tell you

Terri: Me too

Both: I’m in love with you. What?

Zack: Ever since the um incident, I felt so comfortable with you, I got feelings for you

Terri: Me too

(They start kissing)

(Later, Jack walks into Zack’s room)

Jack: Whoa (leaves the room)

Zack: Don’t you ever knock?

Jack: Sorry. Who’s the girl? Is it Torrie?

Zack: No, she’s with Billy

Jack: Jackie?

Zack: No, she’s with Charlie

Jack: Not Trish

Zack: No, God knows who she’s with

Jack: Then who?

Terri: Jack, don’t you ever knock?

Jack: Terri? My cousin and one of my best friends?!

Zack: Jack, it’s not what you think. We’re in love with each other

Terri: It’s true

Jack: (nicely) My cousin and one of my best friends

Zack: So you’re not mad

Jack: No. Go back to what you two were doing

Zack: You heard him Terri

(End of Scene)

Terri: Isn’t this great?

Zack: Yeah. Now that Jack knows, we don’t have to worry about any more interruptions

(Janet Enters)

Janet: Whoops. Sorry (leaves)

Terri: Don’t people knock these days?

Zack: It’s like those two were meant for each other

END

Credits

Starring

Zack Tripper......Chris Klein

Jack Tripper........John Ritter

Janet Wood......Joyce DeWitt

Terri Alden.......Priscilla Barnes

[Terri Cardellini]

AWW that was cute and funny, i'm sooo glad to see Terri with someone, it's about time she got better treatment

[Chain Gang Member]

Finally

(Zack and Terri are asleep in their bed when something wakes them up)

Terri: What was that?

Zack: I don’t know. Let’s go check it out

(They go out into the hallway)

Jack: (in his room) Oh Janet

Janet: (in her room) Oh Jack

(They turn their heads to each room every time they speak)

(In the morning)

Jack: Gee, you two look tired

Janet: Didn’t you guys get any sleep?

Zack: No, thanks to the both of you

Jack: What did we do?

Terri: You kept yelling in your sleep

Janet: What? That’s ridiculous

Zack: You think this is ridiculous? Oh Janet

Terri: Oh Jack

Zack: We heard that all night long

Both: Oh my God

Jack: What are we going to do?

Terri: I got solution

Janet: Anything

Jack: Yeah, anything

Terri: Why don’t you two go out on a date?

Jack: A date?

Janet: (innocently) Yeah, why would we go out on a date when we are just friends?

Terri: Listen you two. You have been through a lot together. You two went together to that party, you both fell asleep together even though Jack was drunk, and you even got set up on a date by a computer dating system

Zack: I guess I have to agree since I wasn’t there

Terri: So why don’t you go out together to see if sparks fly?

Jack: No means no

Terri: Usually it's the girl that says that

Zack:

Janet: Listen Jack. Since you don’t wanna go, we won’t go

Zack: Come on, I’ll even order a limo for you two

Jack: N-O no. I don’t want to destroy our friendship (they go upstairs to their rooms)

Terri: Zack, do something

Zack: No, Terri. I’m not being Roger Lodge

Terri: Just let’s go upstairs

Zack: Now?

Terri: Not for that. But if you get them to go on a date, we will after

Zack: All right! Let’s go Terr Bear

Terri: Right behind you

(They head upstairs)

(Zack’s about to try but chickens out)

Zack: I don’t know Terri. This doesn’t seem right to do this

Terri: Oh well. I guess Jack’s gonna move out of here and move into the apartment above his restaurant with a girl he barely knows and her father will be try to break them up every chance he gets

Zack: Not gonna work Terri

Terri: And Janet will marry a dork that she also had just met. An they’ll live unhappily ever after

Zack: Oh !dammit! I am so tired of being Roger Lodge! (Jack & Janet come out) Jack, Janet, you two get your act together and go out on a date! Now dammit! I don’t give what you think! Now get in that limo downstairs and go! No questions asked!

Both: Ok (they run downstairs and into the limo)

Terri: You are just the sweetest man alive. Lets go out on a little date ourselves

Zack: Ok

Terri: I’ll be downstairs (goes downstairs)

Zack: (screaming at the top of his lungs about what he did)

(End of Scene)

(Next morning)

Terri: Jack, we’re sorry that we forced you and Janet to go out

Jack: Yeah but

Zack: And I’m sorry for yelling at you. I just lost my temper

Jack: I know but

(Janet comes out of Jack’s room wearing one of his T-Shirts)

Janet: Good morning

Both: Janet?

Jack: Thanks for setting us straight

Janet: Yeah. Thanks to you two, we finally realized we had feelings for each other

Terri: So you two are a couple now

Both: Yep

(They congratulate each other)

(End of Scene)

Zack: Looks like everything is better now

Terri: Yeah. I found someone, Jack & Janet found each other

Zack: And most importantly of all, we can now get some sleep

(Jack & Janet outside the room)

Janet: Oh Jack

Jack: Oh Janet

Both: Oh no, not again

Zack: Wait here are some earplugs

(They put them in their ears)

Terri: That’s much better

Zack: Goodnight Terri

Terri: Goodnight Zack

(They kiss)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper......Chris Klein

Terri Alden........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper......John Ritter

Janet Wood......Joyce DeWitt

[Chain Gang Member]

Hear Comes The Pain

(Ding-Dong)

Zack: I’ll get it

Brock: Hey Zack

Zack: What the hell do you want?

Terri: Who is it?

Zack: It’s Brock Lesnar, WWE Champion

Terri: Oh it’s one of your friends from the WWE

Zack: Not exactly

Brock: I came here to challenge you to a match for the WWE Championship

Zack: Brock, there are two reasons why I can’t wrestle you. Number 1, you’re facing Eddie Guerrero Tomorrow @ No Way Out for the title and number 2, you know I had to retire because of my back injury

Brock: You wanna play hard ball?

Zack: No, why would I wanna play baseball at a time like this?

Brock: It’s a figure of speech

Zack: Leave Brock!

Brock: Fine, but I won’t leave you alone until you are in the ring this tomorrow (leaves)

Terri: Zack, what are you gonna do?

Zack: We’re gonna go out for lunch and pretend this never happened

Terri: Ok

(Later)

Zack: Isn’t this nice?

Terri: Yeah

Zack: I feel like nothing can stop me from being happy. (Zack’s cell phone rings) Hello? Oh hi Janet. What’s up? What? We’ll be right there

Terri: What’s wrong?

Zack: Jack’s in the hospital

(At the hospital)

Terri: Janet, where’s Jack?

Janet: He’s in this room

Zack: Jack, what happened?

Jack: I don’t know. All I remember was this big ugly blond guy with a weird bull-like tattoo on his back coming after me

Zack: (screaming at the top of his lings) BRROOOOCCCKKK!

(End of Scene)

Zack: I can’t believe he did this to you

Terri: What are you gonna do?

Zack: I’m gonna go to that PPV and tear that jackass apart

Janet: But Zack, you can’t wrestle because of your back

Zack: Janet, a man’s gotta do what man’s gotta do

(At the arena)

(Brock Lesnar’s music hits)

Tazz; Well here comes the pain

Chimel:The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WWE Championship. Introducing first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 295 lbs.,the WWE Champion,Brock Lesnar

Brock: Before I destroy Eddie Guerrero, I’m gonna say this. After I beat him, I’m going to challenge Zack Tripper

Cole: He can’t do that

Tazz: Zack’s retired from wrestling from a broken back

Brock: (continuing) Oh he will be here because I beat up his cousin Jack. But if a miracle happens and Eddie beats me, it’ll just be a one on one match.

Cole: How does this man sleep at night?

(Eddie’s music hits)

Chimel: And the challenger, from El Paso, Texas, weighing in at 220 lbs., Eddie Guerreo

(they brawl for a while and the referee gets knocked out)

Tazz: Lesnar getting a chair

(The crowd cheers)

Cole: Wait a minute, it’s Zack Tripper coming through the crowd

Tazz: Zack just grabbed the chair

Zack: This is for Jack (hits him with the chair)

Cole: Steel chair off the head of Lesnar. Wait a minute, it’s Goldberg

(Goldberg spears Lesnar )

Tazz: Spear!

Cole: RAW’s Goldberg just speared our champion

Tazz: How did he get back in the building?

(Eddie Frog Splashes Brock )

Cole: Frog Splash by Eddie Guerrero. The cover 1, 2, 3.We have a new champion!

Chimel: Here is your winner and the new WWE Champion, Eddie Guerrero



Tazz: Guerrero lied, cheated and stealed his way into the Championship

Zack: Brock, you want a match with me? You got it. Ring the bell!

Cole: Zack picks up Lesnar

(Zack F5’s Brock )

Tazz: F5!

Cole: F5 to Lesnar. Cover 1,2,3

Chimel: Here is your winner, Zack Tripper

Tazz: Zack just used Lesnar’s own signiture maneuver to beat him

(End of Scene)

Zack: So I F5ed him and beat him

Terri: That was amazing Zack

Jack: Yeah thanks for sticking up for me

Zack: No problem (pats him on the back)

Jack: Ow!

Zack: Sorry

END

Out of My Way-Seether Zack’s Entrance theme

Starring

Zack Tripper.......Chris Klein

Terri Alden.........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper.......John Ritter

Janet Wood.......Joyce DeWitt

Guest Stars

Brock Lesnar.....Himself

Eddie Guerrero...Himself

Bill Goldberg......Himself

Tazz...............Himself

Michael Cole.....Himself

Here's the real match
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...eoid=612012983

[Chain Gang Member]

Zack vs. Lee

(Lee talks Zack into wrestling him and two partners of his choosing)

Lee: Hey Terri, ready to see your boyfriend to get a beating by my partners and me?

Terri: I don’t have to because Zack and his partners will beat the hell out of you

Lee: Is that so? (Starts attacking her)

Terri: Help! Someone!

(Rob Van Dam pulls Lee off of Terri)

RVD: Dude, get off of her

Lee: You haven’t heard the last of me (leaves)

Terri: Thanks

RVD: You’re safe thanks to everyone’s favorite wrestler Rob Van Dam!

Terri: Thanks um Rob Van Dam. I gotta go back to Zack (leaves)

Zack: Terri, what’s a matter?

Terri: Lee attacked me

Zack: Are you ok?

Terri: Yeah thanks to Rob Van Dam

Zack: Lee’s gonna pay for this

(End of Scene)

Lillian: The following is a no DQ 6-man tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first Lee Tripper and his partners

(Ric Flair comes out)

Crowd: Woo!

Lillian: First, from Charlotte, NC weighing in at 245 lbs., “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair

(Triple H comes out)

Lillian: And their tag team partner, from Greenwich, CT weighing in at 260 lbs., he is the World Heavyweight Champion, Triple H

JR: What a great choosing of partners Lee has chosen

King: Yeah, he chose his cousin’s idol and the man who beat him for the that Championship

Lillian: And Zack & his partners

(Zack comes out)

Lillian: Accompanied by his girlfriend Terri, from San Diego, CA weighing in at 270 lbs., Zack Tripper

Lee: I knew he couldn’t find anyone

(RVD’s comes out)

Lillian: And his tag team partners, first from Battle Creek, MI weighing in at 220 lbs., Rob Van Dam!

JR: What a pick! It’s Mr. Monday Night, Rob Van Dam

King: But who’s his other partner?

(Shawn Michaels’ comes out)

Lillian: and their tag team partner, from Houston, TX weighing in at 225 lbs., “The Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michaels!

(The bell rings and they brawl for a while with Zack & Lee as the legal men)

JR: Zack is beating the holy hell out of his cousin

(Triple H Pedigrees Zack )

King: Pedigree on Zack Tripper

JR: Lee is going to steal this one. (The referee counts) No, not this way

(Zack kicks out)

King: How did he kick out?
JR: Now HHH and Flair are getting steel chairs

(They come into the ring and try to attack HBK & RVD with steel chairs, but Shawn gives HHH Sweet Chin Music ] and RVD gives Flair the Vandaminator )

King: Vandaminator by RVD and Sweet Chin Music by Michaels

JR: Now Lee is out numbered

Lee: Please don’t do this

Zack: This is for Terri (punches him)

JR: What a right hand by Zack

King: That knocked him out!

Zack: Let’s go up!

(They all get on the top rope and HBK gives Lee an elbow drop ,RVD & Zack both give him a Five Star Frog Splash )

King: Shawn Michaels with an elbow drop

JR: And RVD & Zack with a Double Five Star Frog Splash

King: Why doesn’t Zack go for the cover?

Zack: We’re not done yet! RVD, set’em up

(Zack & RVD put a chair on both sides of the turnbuckle by Lee and give him a double Vanterminator )

JR: Oh my God! The just gave him a double Vanterminator!

King: 1,2,3! It’s over

Lillian: Here are your winners, Zack Tripper, Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam!

End Of Scene

Terri:Zack,are you hurt?

Zack:Yeah,, but it was worth it

Jack:Looks like we won't be seeing him anymore

(Lee comes in and starts pounding on Zack,but he eventually throws him out and Lee keeps coming back then Zack wakes up and realizes it was a dream)

Terri: Did you have that dream again?

Zack:Yeah

Terri:Maybe this will help you out(kisses him)

Zack:Much better

Terri:Good Night Zack.I love you

Zack:I love you too

END

Time to Play The Game-Motorhead Triple H's Entrance

Out of My Way-Seether Zack's Entrance

One Of A Kind-Breaking Point RVD's Entrance

Sexy Boy-Shawn Michaels Shawn Michaels' Entrance

Starring

Zack Tripper.......Chris Klein

Terri Alden..........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper........John Ritter

Janet Wood........Joyce DeWitt

Guest Stars

John Getz..........Lee Tripper

Ric Flair.............Himself

Triple H.............Himself

Rob Van Dam......Himself

Shawn Michaels..Himself

Jerry Lawler.......Himself

Jim Ross............Himself

Lillian Garcia.......Herself

[Chain Gang Member]

Impodent

Jack:What's wrong Terri?

Terri:I need to go shopping,but Zack isn't up to take me and I don't like taking the bus because I can't stand guys looking at me the way they do

Janet:Why don't you take Zack's Low Rider?

Terri:I don't think Zack would want me driving it especially without permission

Jack:Yeah,I once borrowed and accidently broke his bat without asking.Then once he found out,he put Lee in the ankle lock

Terri:Why would he do that to him when you broke it

Jack:I told him Lee did it

Janet:I wouldn't worry about that.Terri,Zack loves you more than that car.Take it out for a drive

Terri:Ok

(Later)

Terri:Well,I'm back

Jack:What'd you hit?

Terri:Jack,don't you have faith in me that I could drive Zack's Low Rider?

Jack:What'd you hit?

Terri: A telephone pole

Janet:Oh Terri,I was wrong.You shouldn't have driven his car

Terri:What am I gonna do?

Zack:Good morning

Jack:Zack,it's 1:00

Zack:Good afternoon

Terri:Zack,where are you going?

Zack:To the store to get me a magazine.There's an article about my career and my friends say I should check it out

Jack:Why don't you go check out that dent Terri put in your car

Zack:What?

Janet:Jack!

Jack:He was gonna find out sooner or later

(Zack goes out to see the dent)

Terri: Do you think he will notice it

Zack:NOOOOOO!(comes in)

Terri:Zack,I'm sorry

Zack:Terri,I'm not mad at you for puting the dent in my car.I'm mad because you took it without asking.Now I'm gonna go get my magazine and we'll talk about this after(leaves)

Jack:Took it better than I thought

Terri:You think?

Jack:Yeah,you're ankle's not broken

(next day)

Janet:So what happened?

Terri:Well I have some good news and some bad news.The good news is that he forgave me

Janet:Jack,I hope you act the same way if I accidently break something of your's

Jack:What's the bad news?

Terri:Well,how can I put this?He's um under the weather

Janet:Jack,forget what I said

(End of Scene)

Jack:How can that be?

Janet:Yeah,Zack's really attracted to you I couldn't see him being under the weather

Terri:You haven't seen him naked

Jack:Right

Janet:Well actually I did

Both:WHat?

Janet:Well he came out of the bathroom wearing a towel and when he pointed to Jack's room,the towel dropped

Terri:Wow

Janet:That's what I said

Terri:When he gets down,don't menchen what I said

Janet:Ok

Zack:Good morning

Jack:Hey Zack,what's up?Oops

Zack:Terri,you told him.Didn't you?

Terri:Zack,I'm sorry.It's just that I always tell Jack & Janet my problems

Zack:But this is one of my problems!Now I'm gonna go back to sleep.I guess that's the only thing I can do in bed right now(goes back upstairs)

Terri:This is terrible.How am I gonna make it up to him?

Jack:The only way I could think of is something he can't do right now

Janet:Jack!you're not helping.How 'bout you get his car fixed

Terri:He doesn't have insurance for it

Jack:Call up the guy he got it from.What was his name?

Terri:Oh yeah Eddie Guerrero.(goes through his phone book)Let's see.Angle,Cena,here we go,Guerrero(dials his number)

(later)

Terri:Zack,come down here

Zack:What now,you shreded all my wrestling magazines?

Terri:Look outside

Zack:Wow,a new Low Rider!How'd you get it?

Terri: (imitates Eddie)Eddie Guerrero

Zack:Wait,there are two

Terri:Yeah,his nephew Chavo came by with another one so you won't have to worry about me messing up your car again

Zack:Thanks Terri(kisses her)

Terri:Whoa what's that in your pocket?

Zack:It's not my car keys,that's for sure

(they get excited and go upstairs)

Jack:Well all's well that ends well

Janet:Yeah,I hope that never happens to us

Jack: Don't worry Janet.Surf's up

(They go upstairs)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper......Chris Klein

Terri Alden........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper......John Ritter

Janet Wood......Joyce DeWitt

[Chain Gang Member]

Haas Is A Pain

(Ding-Dong)

Jack:Hello

Charlie:Is Zack Tripper here?

Jack:Yeah.Zack,someone's here to see you

Zack:Who?Charlie!

Charlie:Zack!(they shake hands)

Zack:How's it going?Last time I heard,you and Jackie were getting serious

Charlie:Well,we're taking a break

Terri:Who is it?

Zack:It's my old friend Charlie Haas

Terri:Nice to meet you

Charlie:Wow Zack,you hit the jackpot

Terri:Why thank you.I'm sure you have a gorgeous girlfriend yourself

Zack:Terri, x-ne on the irlfriend-ge

Charlie:It's over between us

Zack:What?I thought you said you two were taking a break?

Charlie:Well we got into a big fight and now we're done.Can I crash here for a while?

Zack:Sure

Jack: (whispering)Zack,what are you thinking?You're starting to let everyone you know live here.This a house,not a hotel

Zack: Don't worry.I plan to get Charlie and Jackie back together

(End of Scene)

(At a bar)

Jack:Remember Janet,you try to lead him on but turn him off at the same time

Janet:How is it that I actually understand that?

Zack:Janet,I would like you to meet a friend of mine

Janet:Wow Zack,I must say you have a good looking friend

Charlie:Hi my name is

Janet:Before you even say your name,you must know that if we agree to go out on a date,you pay for everything,you can't kiss,look,touch or talk to me.You got that Haas?

Charlie: Did I say that my name was Haas?

Janet:You got it all wrong.I call everyone Haas.Look at that Haas over there

Charlie:Then I should say to Zack that if he thinks this is going to get me to crawl back to Jackie,then he's one big Haashole

Zack:Ok Charlie.If you want to hang with us,then you'll have to keep up

(they do a bunch of childish things and then come home to watch Sanford & Son)

Charlie:Well I better be going back to Jackie

Zack:Wait a minute,what about hanging with us?

Charlie:Sometimes Jackie can be a pain,but you 4 are just goofy(leaves)

Jack:I can't believe he fell for that

Terri:Yeah

Janet:Great job Zack

Zack:Now let's do something exciting

Jack:I think the neighbors' dog is out

Zack:Let's make him holler at the moon

(they moon outside the window and the dogs bark as Charlie comes back in)

Charlie:I bent down to tie my shoe.Most people just wave goodbye

END

Starring

Zack Tripper......Chris Klein

Terri Alden........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper......John Ritter

Janet Wood......Joyce DeWitt

Guest Stars

Charlie Haas.....Himself

[Chain Gang Member]

A Woman's Touch

Janet:Hey Terri,where are the guys?

Terri:They went to the Beagle

Janet:You know I noticed something

Terri:What?

Janet:Our rooms need to be redecorated

Terri:Shouldn't we ask Jack & Zack before we do?

Janet:Oh come on.We'll suprise'em

(later)

Zack:I did like that place.We should go more often

Jack:See I told you that you'd like it

Terri:Hi guys

Zack:Hey Terri(kisses her).What'd you and Janet do while we were gone?

Terri:Well,it's a suprise

Janet:Hey guys,we got a suprise for you

Jack:We can't wait

(The girls cover their men's eyes until they are told to do so)

Girls:Well,what do you think

Both: Ahhh!

Terri:I don't think they like it

(End of Scene)

Zack:What did you two do to our rooms?

Janet:We thought our rooms needed a little redecorating

Jack:A little?

Zack:Heart-shaped pillows?

Jack:1,000 teddy bears on the bed?

Both:Poperie?

Terri:We thought it would look cute

Jack:Cute?Men live here too!

Zack:Yeah.The only men who like these kind of rooms are you know(does Mr.Roper's tinkerbell thing)

Janet:We just thought that we were doing something nice

Terri:Yeah(they go downstairs)

Zack:Jack,the girls are right

Jack:About what?

Zack:They tried to do something nice and we yell at them

Jack:How are we gonna make it up to them?I mean we're not going to sleep in these rooms while they're like this.

Zack:I believe in compromising.See here's what we do(whispers his plan)

(End of Scene)

Jack:Girls,can you come up here?

Janet:What is it now?

Zack:We called up here to tell you that we put the rooms back like they were

Terri:You mean you called us up here to tell us that?

Jack:No.We realized that we were a little too mean when we yelled at you two beautiful girls

Janet:That's nice of you to say,but that isn't gonna get us happy again

Zack:Maybe this will(they open a room where all the girls stuff is

Terri:Oh Zack.I thought you said you didn't want a girly room in your house

Zack:No,I said I didn't want to sleep in one

Janet:So what else did you do?

Jack:We also did a masculine room for us

Zack:We believe in compromising

Janet:Oh Jack
Terri:Oh Zack

(they kiss their boyfriends)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper......Chris Klein

Terri Alden........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper......John Ritter

Janet Wood......Joyce DeWitt

[Chain Gang Member]

Unstratusfied

Zack:Terri,ever since I met you,I never felt so alive

Terri:I thought I'd save myself for marriage,but the way you treated me made me surrender myself to you.Am I your first?

Zack:Yeah,but every girl tried.They thought of me as a challenge which none of them beat

Terri: I guess I did

Zack:Yeah

(ding-dong)

Trish:Hey Zack

Zack:Trish!What in God's name are you doing here?

Terri:Who is it?

Zack:Trish Stratus aka Trish The Dish which means that every guy has had a taste of her

Terri:Even you?

Trish:Yeah.I was his first

Terri:What?!You told me I was your first!

Zack:Terri,let me explain

Terri:There's no need to explain.We're through(goes upstairs)

Trish:Was it something I said?

Zack:Yes!

(End of Scene)

Janet:Terri,what's wrong?

Terri:Zack told me that he surrendered himself to me when he surrendered himself to that slut Trish

Jack: Did he say that or did she?

Terri:Her

Janet:Shouldn't you hear his side of the story?

Terri:Why should I?

Jack:Then you'll know what really happened between them

Terri:I don't wanna.I can't believe I slept with him.I'm just gonna take a shower(does so)

Zack:Where's Terri?

Janet:In the shower

Zack:Thanks Janet(goes into the bathroom).Terri(opens the shower door)

Terri:Zack,what do you think you're doing walking in on me like that,you pervert?

Zack:What are you talking about.I've seen you naked lots of times

Terri:You never lied to me before.Since you did,I'm gonna say what your friend John Cena says.You can't see me !

Zack:You wanna know what really happened?

Terri:Try me

Zack:See I was taking a shower and in comes Trish.She takes off her clothes,climbs into the shower,shuts the door and corners me

Terri:So that's how she became your first?

Zack:Yeah.You see I had no place to go and she jumps on me and starts riding me like I'm some kind of machanical bull.And that's the story

Terri:I'm so sorry I yelled at you

Zack:It's alright

(they kiss)

(End of Scene)

Trish:So are you two split up?

Zack:No.Now go away and never come back

Trish:What's so different about her?

Zack:Terri doesn't drop her towel infront of her boss and hop on him while he says "are you ready for some wrestling?"

Trish:Is there anything for me?

Zack:Sure.A song.Do you remember me
You can't see the things
That make me who I am
You'll never understand

And I gotta keep moving, you're living off my sweat
Moving, the devil's on my back
And these are the days that I dreamed about
And you're always there to remind me

You're my enemy
All that we had has gone away
There are times that fade away
But you'll still be my enemy

The friend you had in me
You turned on so easily
I'm sad to see you go
At least now I know

And I gotta keep moving, you're living off my sweat
Moving, the devil's on my back
And these are the days that I dreamed about
And you're always there to remind me

And I see clearly now
You tried to bleed me
And I see clearly now
You tried to feed on me

Cuz you're my enemy
All that we had has gone away
There are times that fade away
But you'll still be my enemy

My enemy
My enemy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9h16JTxOUU

Trish:That was mean

Zack:Not as mean as trying to ruin the greatest relationship I ever had.Now get out

Trish:No!

Zack:Fine,I'll throw you out

Trish:But Zack,it's me.Your little stratusfactor

Zack:You're right

Terri:I will

(Shows the front of the house as Terri throws Trish out)

Trish:Ahh!

Zack:Well that's the end of that

Terri:No it isn't

Zack:What?

Terri:We still have some more making up to do

Zack:You got that right(picks her up on his shoulders and they head upstairs)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper...............Chris Klein

Terri Alden.................Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper...............John Ritter

Janet Wood...............Joyce DeWitt

Guest Star

Trish Stratus............Herself

Enemy-Fozzy

[Chain Gang Member]

Reunion BBQ

Janet:Jack,why is it that Lee inherited her money and you remains that were cremeted?

Zack:Well I didn't get anything.All she said was that she leaves me alone which God will

Terri:We proved her wrong(kisses him)

Jack:Come on you guys.My mom just died and it wasn't right for you coming into the funeral singing DIng Dong The Witch Is Dead.

Zack:With the way she treated me,she deserved it.Anyway I got an idea how to cheer you up

Jack:What?

Zack:A barbeque

Janet:That's a great.Jack,you can cook the hamburgers

Jack:I don't feel like cooking

Zack:I will cook

Terri:You can cook?

Zack:Sure.Jack taught me how

Jack:I just can't believe my mom is dead

Zack:Jack,suck it up.Probably by the end of the BBQ,you will be smiling again

Terri: Do you have to do anything to make your burgers tastey?

Zack:Yeah,I keep all the old ashes from the last BBQ

(later,everybody has arrived)

Cindy:I'll just set the table(knocks over the grill)

(End of Scene)

Terri:Oh no Cindy.That's how Zack's burgers come out good

Chrissy:What are we gonna do?

Cindy:We need to find some ashes

Chrissy:That's a great idea

(later)

Janet:Terri,I have to talk to you

Terri:About what?

Janet:Well Jack put that urn in our bedroom.I don't want to make love with him while that urn is in there.It's like she would be watching us and that's creepy and Jack has been carrying that urn everywhere.I got him to leave the urn home today

Terri:How?

Janet:I told him that the remains might pour over the burgers

Terri:You're so clever

Cindy:We found ashes to replace the ones we knocked over

(They start eating the burgers)

Zack:Come on Jack.Start eating

Jack:I still can't stop thinking of my cremated mother

Chrissy:Oh I'm so sorry Jack

Jack:I'm just glad that I got the remains of her in my bedroom

Cindy:Wait a minute.Are they in a vase?

Janet:Yeah,and it driving me crazy

(Cindy spits the burger out of her mouth and whispers to Larry that the remains are in the burgers)

Larry:What?!(spits out the burger and whispers it to Furley)

Furley:What?!(spits out the burger and tells Chrissy)

Chrissy:Oh my God!(spits out the burger and tells Terri)

Terri:Gross!(spits out the burger and tells Zack as Chrissy tells Janet)

Both:Really?

Both:Yes!

(they smile and continue to eat their burgers)

Zack:Come on Jack,eat at least one

Jack:Ok(takes a bite).Hey,this is good but I can't get my mind of my mom's death

Zack: Don't worry Jack.She'll always be inside you

END

Starring

Zack Tripper.......Chris Klein

Terri Alden..........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper........John Ritter

Janet Wood.........Joyce DeWitt

Guest Starring

Suzanne Somers...Chrissy Snow

Richard Kline.........Larry Dallas

Don Knotts...........Ralph Furley

Jennilee Harrison....Cindy Snow

[Chain Gang Member]

What I'm Trying To Tell You Is

Terri:Janet,can you come here for a minute?

Janet:Sure Terri,what's the matter?

Terri:Janet,I think I'm,I'm

Janet:You're what?

Terri:I think I'm pregnant

Janet:Terri,that's wonderful!

Terri:I just don't know yet and I'm not sure how Zack would react

Janet:Well go down to the drug store and get a pregnancy test

Terri:Ok.(walking down the stairs)One time without a condom and this is what happens

(later)

Jack:What's the matter,Janet?

Janet:Well it's about Terri

Jack:What about her?

Janet:I can't tell you because you might tell Zack

Jack:She's not thinking of dumping him,is she?

Janet:No

Jack:Because she's the only one he's really cared about and they're both the first person that the other has

Janet:Jack!

Jack:Then what is it?

Janet:Well you better promise not to tell Zack

Jack:Alright,what is it?

Janet (whispering into his ear)Terri might be pregnant

Jack:She could be what?!

Zack:What's with all the noise?

Both:Nothing

Zack:Where's Terri?I didn't wake up next to her this morning

Jack:That's because she

Janet:Terri's at the drug store

Zack:Why?

Janet:Well she went to get you a magazine

Zack:Oh well that's thoughtful

(Terri comes in)

Zack:Hey Terri(kisses her)

Terri:Hey Zack,I bought you a magazine and on the way home I bought you your friend's new CD

Zack:Alright!He told me I should to it.Wait a minute this isn't the one with that's uncensored,right?

Terri:Of course not.I know you don't like listening to uncensored music

Zack:You know me so well,I love you

Terri:I love you too(starts to go upstairs)

Zack:Wait,what else do you got in the bag?

(Jack & Janet look worried)

Terri:Um just some lady products

(they're relieved)

Terri:Janet,can you come with me

Janet:Sure

Jack:Wait a minute,why do you have to go with her?

Zack:Girls always do things together

Janet:Right(they go upstairs)

(End of Scene)

Terri:Alright,I got the pregnancy test,got Zack distracted with music and a magazine,now all I have to do is take the test

Janet:You're a genius

Terri:Well,here goes nothing

(later)

Zack: (singing along to the song)Your boy's a bad man, and we invadin the streets
Make unclever rappers scurred, they be droppin the heat
Shocked the world, now I'm standin alone
I flip fools like them clamshell cellular phones
You can't help but nod your head to the track
**** the watered down rap, we be takin it back
Give it to me straight - ain't no chasin it
Check yourself in the mirror - ain't no facin it
Cause you, playin the role and you plannin to fold
This the masterplan, we got the planet on hold
We all over the streets like your favorite sneaker
Breakin up your sound like a drive-through speaker
Everything that I be spittin is strong
After I rock, fast forward through the rest of the song
We the monkeywrench, that's gonna ruin your plan
And don't mess with John Cena - I'm a BAD, BAD MAN

Jack:Zack,I got something to tell you.You see Terri has been acting strange today and(while Jack's talking,Zack's not listening) well you might be a father.Well,what do you have to say?

Zack: (not knowing what he said,he keeps singing)With the mic in my hands I'm a bad man
Even in a fight with the hands I'm a bad man
Livin in the streets all my life I'm a bad man
I'm a bad man, I'm a bad man

Jack:I feel like I'm in that Raisin Brand Crunch commericial.I try to tell him something and he keeps doing what he's doing without knowing what I said(leaves)

Zack:Was it something I said?

(later)

Janet:Well,what did it say?

Terri:Well,I'm pregnant

Janet:Terri,how wonderful!You're gonna be a mother and Zack's gonna be a father!

Terri:I hope Zack's happy as I am

Janet:Just practice what you're gonna say to him

Terri:Okay.(talks to the mirror)Well Zack,I know how much we love each other and you're my first and I'm your first.I hope you're gonna take this news as a good thing.Zack I'm

Zack:You're what?

Terri:I'm happy to see you

Janet:Terri,tell him the truth

Terri:Zack,I know how much we love each other and you're my first and I'm your first.I hope you're gonna take this news as a good thing.I'm

Zack:You're dumping me? Why do all the girls I've gone out with dump me?What's wrong with me?

Terri:Nothing's wrong with you

Zack:Then why are you dumping me?

Terri:I'm not

Zack:You're not?Oh thank you God.Then what is it that you're trying to tell me?

Terri:Well I don't know how to say this.Zack,I'm pregnant

Zack:

Jack:I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing

(End of scene)

Terri:Zack?Wake up honey

Zack: (reviving)What happened?

Terri:You fainted

Jack:Are you ok?

Zack:I'm O-K(imitates John Cena)I can shake that off mu shoulder

Janet:You were out for a few minutes

Zack:I just had the strangest dream.Terri,you said that you were pregnant

Terri:I am pregnant.You're not mad are you?

Zack:Mad?Why would I be mad?

Terri:Well you fainted

Zack:That's because I was suprised

Terri:I'm so happy that you're happy(kisses her)

Zack:Let's go celebrate(lifts her up on his shoulder)

Janet:What are you doing?

Jack:Gonna try to make twins?

Zack:That could happen(they go into the bedroom)

END

Bad,Bad,Bad Man-John Cenafeaturing Tha Trademarc and Freddie Foxxx

[Moonlight Lady]

That was really good. I enjoyed reading it.

[Terri Cardellini]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

Jack:I feel like I'm in that Raisin Brand Crunch commericial.I try to tell him something and he keeps doing what he's doing without knowing what I said(leaves)

that was funny

[Chain Gang Member]

Meet The Aldens
Zack:Terri honey,where have you been?

Terri:In the bathroom throwing up

Zack:Oh morning sickness.Are you sure you're pregnant because it looks like you haven't gained an ounce

Terri:It takes time to grow

Jack:Terri,are you alright?

Janet:Yeah,we heard you throw up

Terri:Yeah,it's just morning sickness

Both:Oh

Zack:Have you told your parents?

Terri:No,not yet

(ding dong)

Terri:I'll get it.Mom!Dad!Samantha!

Mr.Alden:Hi sweetie.We've missed you so much

Mrs.Alden:We heard you moved here.What happened?

Terri:Long story

Jack:Wow we haven't seen you all in a long time

Mr.Alden:So what have you all been up to?

Samantha:I bet I know

Terri:Isn't it weird that she hasn't changed since last time

Zack:Hi guys.Oh I see we have company

Terri:Zack,these are my parents and my baby sister,Samantha.Mom,dad,Samatha this is my boyfriend,Zack Tripper.He's Jack's cousin

Mr.Alden:Hi Zack.I'm Terri's father(shakes his hands)

Mrs.Alden:I'm her mother(shakes his hand)

Zack:Are you sure you're not her sister.Well I see where Terri gets her looks from

Mrs.Alden:Terri,he's a keeper

Terri:I know

Samantha:I'm Samantha but you can call me Sam

Zack: Aren't you cute

Janet:What are you all doing here?

Mr.Alden:Well,we came to visit my little girl

Zack:Isn't that sweet

Mr.Alden:What have you been up to,Zack?

Samantha:I know

Terri:Sam,let my boyfriend talk

Zack:Well last year,I was a pro wrestler and beat all the greats.Then during my last match,I injured my back and the doctor told me I could never wrestle again

Mrs.Alden:How sad

Zack:Yeah,but now that I got Terri,I couldn't be happier

Mr.ALden:Well my daughter is very special

Zack:I know,sir

Mrs.Alden:So how did you and Terri meet?

Zack:Well we met when her,Jack and Janet came here to move in with me

Mr.Alden:But how did you two become a couple?

Terri:It's a long story

Mrs.Alden:We have all the time in the world

Zack:Ok,you asked for it

(End Of Scene)

Jack:Come on Sam,let's go in the kitchen to get you a snack

Samantha:But I'm not hungry

Janet:You are.Trust me(they take her into the kitchen)

Zack:Well.Oh I shouldn't say this

Mr.Alden:Come on don't be shy

Zack:Well I was taking a shower and she came in not knowing I was in there and went to take a shower when I walked out.She was shocked and a little embarassed until I said that both of us have nothing to be embarassed about.After a while we figured that we were so comfortable with each other that we started to develope feelings for each other.So that's what how my Terr Bear and I became a couple

Mrs.Alden:Aww,he called her his Terr Bear.Isn't that cute dear

Mr.Alden:You saw my daughter nude?

Zack:It wasn't like we planned it

Mrs.Alden:Settle down honey

Zack:Terri,can I talk to you alone?

Terri:Sure Zack(they leave into another room)What is it?

Zack:How can we tell them that you're pregnant?You saw him get upset when he found out I saw you naked

Terri:Sweetie I think you should just tell him now.That way we won't have to worry about it anymore

Zack:Alright(they come back out)

Terri:Mom,dad,we have something to tell you

Samantha:Terri's pregnant!

Mr.Alden:SHE'S WHAT?!

Jack:Sorry guys

Janet:Yeah,we tried to stop her but she was too fast

Samantha:You both can't lie.I heard you two talking about it in that room

Terri: Daddy,it's true.Zack & I are going to have a baby

Mr.Alden:You're a dead man,Zack!

(Zack runs upstairs as Mr.Alden tries to run after him,but everyone holds him back)

(End Of Scene)

Mr.Alden:Let me at'em

Terri: Daddy,please don't hurt him

Mrs.Alden:Yeah dear.He's the sweetest guy I've ever seen Terri date

Terri:Yeah daddy,not to menchen the handomest and the only guy who treated me like royalty

Mr.Alden:But he deflowered you

Terri:It wasn't just his decision,it was mine also

Samantha: Didn't tell you that I knew what they were doing

All:Shut up Samantha!

Terri:Now,I'm gonna get Zack down here and you apologize(goes upstairs)

Jack:Some visit huh Mr.Alden?

(Mr.ALden turns around to Jack with a mean look)

Janet:Jack sweetie,I don't think you want to make Mr.ALden angrier

(Upstair)

Terri:Zack?

Zack:What is it Terri?Did your dad go out to get a shot gun?

Terri:No,I came up here

Zack: (interupts)To protect me?Because he won't hurt me if you are here

Terri:No,I'm getting him to apologize

Zack:OK.I'll come down in a second

Terri:What are you gonna do?

Zack:To call the police so I can get a paper that will question your dad if I get killed

Terri:You don't have to do that.Just come on(they go downstairs)Daddy,don't you have something you want to say to Zack?

Mr.Alden:Yes.Zack,I'm sorry that I over reacted.It's just that I never thought that you would do that before marriage

Zack:It's o-k,I can shake that off my shoulder

Mr.Alden:What does that mean?

Terri:He means that he forgives you

Mr.Alden:Oh,so you aren't mad at me?

Zack:No.You're supposed to be protective but not like Hulk Hogan

Mr.Alden:What does that mean?

Zack:He's way overprotective with his daughter.He even has demandments instead of commandments for his daughter's dates

Mrs.Alden:And I thought that you were overprotective

Mr.Alden:Well we better get going

Terri:Bye

(They all leave but Zack stops Mrs.Alden)

Zack:Hey,are you sure you're not her sister?

Mrs.ALden: Oh you(leaves)

(End Of Scene)

Terri:Wow,you really handled my dad well

Zack:Yeah,I especially got on your mom's good side

Terri:How did you do that?

Zack:Moms love me,dads get used to me

Terri:Wait a minute,I think I hear my dad coming

Zack: Ahh!(goes under the covers)

Terri:Kidding

Zack:Oh you're in trouble now

(he gets her under the sheets and they start to fool around)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..............Chris Klein

Terri Alden................Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper..............John Ritter

Janet Wood..............Joyce DeWitt

Guest Starring
Hugh Gillin................Mr. Alden

Mina Kolb ................Mrs. Alden

Jennifer Walker.........Samantha Alden